Life can have many traumatic events, but is God concerned about your happiness? Yes, and there is a quest happening.
I’ve been doing a sailing course over the last month.
Learning how a sailboat worked.
I knew the physics, but I wanted to feel what it was like to be in a tiny boat out on the water.
I have had three lessons.
On the first day, there was very little wind. We struggled to get moving. We did, however, practice capsizing, how to get the boat righted and ourselves back into the boat.
On the second day, there was a lot more wind. So much so that the boat capsized. I actually had to be rescued. A story for another time.
On the third day, we had better winds. Still some light patches, but there were times when the winds came and caused our little boat to speed ahead.
One of those times was when I was on the tiller. I was steering the boat.
The wind came, filled our sails, and we were off. So much so that a fellow sailor and I had to lean out over the boat to balance the boat.
There was excitement and joy. We had captured an invisible force, and we were being powered by it.
Then, as quickly as the wind came, the wind died away, and we were left dead in the water looking for the next breeze.
But we were buzzing. High fives, smiles, joy, happiness.
Is God concerned with your happiness?
I recently received an email where the writer said that some people had told her that God wasn’t concerned with her happiness.
I’ve heard those messages too. Messages both verbal and non-verbal.
Messages that say you need to deny yourself even the basics of happiness.
That the Christian life is to be one of deprivation and struggle. Deny yourself, self-sacrifice, and always put other people’s happiness first.
Maybe they have even conveyed that God has bigger issues to deal with compared to your happiness.
What about world peace? Surely God has more concern about poverty, those dying of cancer, wars and famine etc compared to your happiness.
All of these messages convey some very debilitating impressions to the wounded heart.
- You’re too small to matter to God
- Others’ happiness is more important than your own
- You come second, or even a hundredth, to others’ needs
- That happiness is not for now, in this lifetime. At the moment it’s all hard work, self-deprivation and suffering.
- Any happiness you are experiencing now is at the expense of others. (‘Barry, you should have given the money you spent on that sailing course to the poor.’)
- There is scarcity. There is not enough happiness for everyone.
I believe God, who holds all things together (Colossians 1:16-18), holds us and our happiness as part of a desire for us.
But am I to chase after happiness?
Is my happiness to be my central focus?
If so, then I am no better than a hedonistic narcissist living a self-centred life devoted to pleasure, enjoyment and self-indulgence at the cost of others.
The type of boat is a quest
I am learning to sail in a class of boat called Quest.
It was specifically designed for learning in.
We rookie sailors are on a quest both literally and figuratively.
I am on a quest for wind. I am also on a quest for learning about wind and wave, sails and sea, capsizing and rescue.
The meaning of the word quest is ‘a long or arduous search for something’.
I am on a quest to know God.
In this quest, I will experience times of flying along at speed and times of sitting in the doldrums for lack of wind. I might even need rescuing at times!
Perhaps the feeling of happiness is a byproduct of knowing God in good times and tough times. Habakkuk 3:16-18
God wants you to be happy
There’s happiness on the other side of the quest. There is happiness in the quest.
Jesus tells three parables in response to a lot of muttering by the self-righteous about his delight in bringing happiness to the broken, lost and poor.
The parables all conclude with a state of happiness and joy.
They are the parables of the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin, and the Lost Son. Luke 15
Something precious is lost, but after sometime and some seeking (a quest) that which was lost is returned, and happiness and joy abound.
There is joy and happiness, but it is on the other side of the quest. It’s through the quest that we discover happiness. We value happiness even more once we know what it’s like not to have had it.
For me, some of the deepest moments of joy and happiness have been when a quest, with many questions, has been resolved.
A long and arduous quest with someone, and then they’re finding some answers, hope, delight. A providential wind has filled their sails. Joy, deep joy, comes.
Who is joining you on your quest?
I didn’t go sailing alone.
I went with others. We helped each other.
In those moments when we were dead in the water, we cheered each other on. We looked for wind shifts and hoped for the merest of breezes.
We also had a coach. He is teaching us about the quest.
I asked him why he enjoyed sailing.
He immediately responded with one word. Freedom.
He could get in a tiny boat, set the sail, and be off.
There was freedom to feel the wind and find movement forward. In the quest he found happiness.
When you’re recovering from trauma and have P.T.S.D. you need others to help you find a little breeze, a little providential filling of the sails.
To know that you are loved, you are held, you are known.
Quotes to consider
- Faith is not the opposite of doubt. Faith is the opposite of certitude. Where you don’t need to be certain to be happy. If you can’t go there, you’ll never be happy because you’ll never get logical certitude. If you’re waiting for 100% certitude you’re never going to be happy. Richard Rohr. Podcast: Trust is a Rock You Can Build Upon
- A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor. Franklin D. Roosevelt
- Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.
- If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
- I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, “This is what it is to be happy.”
Questions to answer
- What messages have you received from others about personal happiness?
- Where have you experienced happiness as a result of a quest?
- How would you define the word ‘happiness’ compared to the word ‘joy’?
Formation exercise
- When the wind hits a boat’s sail and causes the boat to move, it is called lift. Much like an aeroplane wing, the wind causes the wing to rise. To ‘lift.’ In the last week, what has caused you to experience a slight ‘lift’ in your emotions? Was it an encouragement from someone? Perhaps a job well done. Much like the Cup Filler/ Cup drainer exercise, what has providentially filled your sail and caused you to lift? What has taken the wind out of your sails?
Further reading
Barry Pearman
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