Am I Worthy of Love?

Am I Worthy of Love

Life can wear us down, and we question if we are worthy of love. But we need to look to a deeper story going on than feelings of the present.

It was gone. Something had gone from them. And they felt it.

No longer caring about their appearance, their diet, their health. Something deep in their existence had whispered away, or at least that’s how it felt to them.

‘Did they have worth?’ they wondered. And especially were they worthy of love and self-care?

They couldn’t see anything of love or worth in themselves. Others seemed to show scant regard for them too. Continue reading “Am I Worthy of Love?”

Women need respect as much as men

Women need respect as much as men

When I feel respect, I feel valued, and I know I am loved.  Respect is about love. It is love in action. Women need respect as much as men.

In 2004 a book by Christian writer Dr. Emerson Eggerich was released.  It was Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. The book became very popular in fundamentalist and evangelical church circles. Eggerich and his wife Sarah became big on the Christian speaking circuit in America, and any copies of the book were sold.

The book is built upon the theory that the “primary emotional needs” for men and women are that men need respect and women need love.

Just like they need air to breathe, apparently. Get this right, and a healthy marriage is sure to ensue, the author promises.  Continue reading “Women need respect as much as men”

It’s the Words You Say that will Steer your life

Its the Words You Say that will Steer your life afirmation thought

Their life was like a ship heading for the rocks, but with new words and affirmations, the ship slowly began to steer in a new direction. Thoughts change when we take charge.

‘Bitch.’

That was the word on the pendant necklace hanging around her neck. I was visiting her at her temporary home. Temporary because this was the psych ward.

She was in there because she wanted to kill herself.

I wondered if any of the psychiatrists and mental health people would challenge her on the words that hung around her neck. I hoped so.

Then again, we live in such a politically correct, super sensitive, non-directive world that maybe no one would say a thing.

I told her that she wasn’t a bitch, and having that word hung around her neck was having a corrosive effect on her soul.

Every day she had it around her neck. It reinforced a thinking track, a rut, a groove. Every day that path got deeper and deeper. Continue reading “It’s the Words You Say that will Steer your life”

When The Little One Stumbles

When The Little One Stumbles

We have all been a little one, a child, and we stumble, but we can grow from the stumbles, and we can learn new truth and find new hope.

I’ve heard many stories of abuse, but some of the worst are when subtle little lies have, with organized precision, been sewn into a child’s life. It’s evil.

Knowing the vulnerability of a child’s mind to learning and absorbing new information and behaviors, someone has, with malicious intent, corrupted a mind made in the image of God. Those lies take root and grow into deformed thinking and behaviors far from God’s intended delight. Continue reading “When The Little One Stumbles”

When the Lesser Dreams get Shattered

When the Lesser Dreams get Shattered

It was a dream, but now it was shattered. Perhaps a new dream was to be discovered, and so we dug deep into what truly mattered.

It was happening again. The dream was being shattered. The marriage was over, the pregnancy test was negative, a redundancy letter handed out, and unemployment was on the horizon. There, in the most honest place of the soul, was a loss of spirit, drive, beauty.

A few years ago, an acquaintance opened up a cheery conversation with me by saying the words ‘Living the dream?’. After some paused consideration, I humorously said, ‘Sometimes, and then at other times, it feels like I am walking a nightmare.’

Live life honestly, and you know that dreams get shattered. Continue reading “When the Lesser Dreams get Shattered”

You’re doing ok

Youre doing ok

Life can be tough at times, but to have someone come close and tell you that you’re doing ok can bring deep reassurance and a sense of being centered.

Sometimes you need to be told that you’re doing ok.

They were in a time in their life when it felt like they were in a bubbling cauldron of change. It was bubbling away, and life threw challenge after challenge at them. It was stressful, and they felt it in their body. They felt tired and needed a place to rest.

Then questions started to rise within their thinking.

Did they make the right decision? Perhaps they weren’t meant to be doing this? Maybe they don’t have what it takes? Continue reading “You’re doing ok”

When You See Into Their Mist – Who They Are Becoming

When You See Into Their Mist Who They Are Becoming

 

There is a mask or even a mist that we can see something quite wondrous when we see behind or through, but it takes awareness to see the vision of what they are becoming.

There is a drive I take every week to a farm and garden out in the countryside. I leave home early in the morning when it is dark and often arrive at daybreak.

It’s a beautiful drive going over hills, through valleys, and besides a stream with sailboats nestled into wooded banks. But it’s particularly beautiful on those mornings when there is a little bit of mist just sitting above the paddocks and on the river. I have to stop and quietly soak in the beauty.

As the sun begins to light up the sky, the darkness starts to retreat.

It’s light, its movement, it’s a time of transition from night into day. The fog sits and clings to the trees, and I know that within a few minutes, it will be gone.

It’s a special time of day, and so many people miss it. They are asleep to the glory and beauty around them. Or perhaps they are busy with getting ready for the day.

By the time they on the same road that I have traveled, the beauty has moved on, never to be seen quite like that again.

We hurry by, don’t we? It takes a conscious decision to slow down, stop, and take it in.

Many people need to be seen behind the dark or even the daylight of their presentation. Continue reading “When You See Into Their Mist – Who They Are Becoming”

Falling to the Oldest Trick in the Book. Ministry or Manipulation

Falling to the Oldest Trick in the Book. Ministry or Manipulation

We’ve all fallen to the oldest trick in the book, but we need to know the oldest truth in the book. Knowing the difference between ministry and manipulation.

I watched them do it. They said a few words, suggested some options, smiled in a certain way, and waited. It wasn’t long before they had what they wanted. They had laid out the bait, and the person had grabbed it.

I then wondered how many times people had fallen to this subtle and sly manipulation. They were such an expert at it. Their success, their control was based on their ability to get others to do what they wanted them to do.

What’s it like to find out you’ve been manipulated?

To have someone use all sorts of little tricks and techniques to further their own cause. Continue reading “Falling to the Oldest Trick in the Book. Ministry or Manipulation”

You’re Being Too Naked in Your Vulnerability

You're Being Too Naked in Your Vulnerability vulnerable

They were too naked in their vulnerability. Too much too soon, but with careful listening, time, and respect, they began to feel deeply known.

They had been too naked with their vulnerability. They thought they were safe with this friend, that what they shared wouldn’t be exposed. But it was told to others, and now they had closed up and remained unknown.

When you’re naked, you’re open to critique, you’re vulnerable to both rejection and acceptance, and you’re never quite sure which way it will swing.

So now they share with no one. Everything is masked up and hidden away.

Secret thoughts, passions, desires, longings, and questions (lots of questions) stay behind the walls.

Perhaps one day, they will find the presence of someone that can listen to the naked vulnerability of their story and sacrificially clothe them with acceptance. Continue reading “You’re Being Too Naked in Your Vulnerability”

The God Who Enters My Shame

The God Who Enters My Shame

It was my shame, but it wasn’t to be carried alone. I had a friend who knew it all, and God entered in and healed the pain.

I was being laughed at. I was only a seven-year-old, but for the first time, I felt the cold icy winds of being mocked and shamed.

The situation was that it was my school assembly and I thought our class had won a prize for some art project. So I got up from sitting on the floor and started to walk to the front.

Within seconds I realized that I was the only one standing and moving.

Slinking back to sit on the floor, I felt every eye was on me. I felt very alone and stupid. Kids were laughing and making sport of me.

That was the first time I remember being exposed to the humiliation of getting it wrong. I went on to have many other moments of shame.

Like a bumper boat being shoved from one intrusive experience to the next, our little life gets bumped and bruised along a passage of painful moments. Continue reading “The God Who Enters My Shame”