Men and Women are different
We all know this!
We have been wired quite differently by God to be complementary to each other.
Now, this blog post is not designed to be a place where we will argue black and white views; there is a lot of grey in the differences between men and women. So please don’t get too polarised in what I say.
Let’s look at some key differences.
The name
Women: The Hebrew word for Female is ‘Naqebah’ (pronounced Nik ay vah).
This word comes from the verb ‘Naqab’ (Na calf) and means to pierce, perforate, or bore.
Essentially the word Female means ‘opening.’ To be ‘open’ means to welcome people into her life, for them to experience God’s goodness within her, that God-given beauty that he has placed deep within her.
Men: The Hebrew word for Male is ‘Zakar’ (Zac ab).
The word Male was apparently used to describe a person in government, and this person’s job was to remember what the King was to do and to tell the King.
They might remind the King, ‘You have an appointment with such and such.’
A Male is one who remembers – the remembering one. A man is to remember the character and nature of God. Who God is, what God is like, and then to use all that stored knowledge and memories in all that they do in life.
The Chief Fear
Women: The chief fear of a woman is undesirability. At the core of a women’s being, they ask – ‘Is there anything desirable about me. If a man really saw me, would he want me? Would he find me desirable, not just as a sex partner, but would he find me desirable at all.’
Men: The chief fear of a man is that he is weightless, that there is nothing substantial or powerful about him. That he is not going to make much difference in his world, in his relationships, particularly with women, with the children he has, and with his friends.
The lies
Women: The lies they say to themselves are
- I am ugly, both externally and internally
- No one loves me
- I have no beauty
Men: The lies they say to themselves are
- I’m useless
- I never do anything right
- Everything I do, I fail in
Depression
Women: Depression is often linked to a devaluing of the beauty they have. Every woman loves to be told in many and various ways that they are beautiful.
Men: Depression is often linked to the devaluing of what they do. Every man loves to have respect for what they do.
Pornography
Women: Pornography whispers to the subconscious woman that she can have the love of a man, even if it’s on a screen or in words on a piece of paper, by his moving into her world and affirming her as beautiful, all without any relational risk of vulnerability and rejection. Getting the feeling of being loved is cheap, easy, and she is in control.
Men: Pornography speaks to the subconscious man that he can have the respect of a woman, even an image on a screen or a piece of paper, by her revealing (opening) herself to him, all without any relational risk. Getting the feelings of respect is cheap, easy, and he is in control.
Question: How does abuse, in any form, affect Men and Women differently? What does it rob them of, and how does this play out in Depression?
Barry Pearman
Image: by Auzigog Creative Commons Flickr
