Life can be tough at times, but to have someone come close and tell you that you’re doing ok can bring deep reassurance and a sense of being centered.
Sometimes you need to be told that you’re doing ok.
They were in a time in their life when it felt like they were in a bubbling cauldron of change. It was bubbling away, and life threw challenge after challenge at them. It was stressful, and they felt it in their body. They felt tired and needed a place to rest.
Then questions started to rise within their thinking.
Did they make the right decision? Perhaps they weren’t meant to be doing this? Maybe they don’t have what it takes? Continue reading “You’re doing ok”
It can be so debilitating to be told ‘you need to have boundaries,’ but as you grow the heart, a new empowered strength slowly builds within.
‘You really need to have boundaries’
How many times have you heard this said or even said it yourself?
I always feel a little cringe when I hear these words. There is just something about it that sounds legalistic, mechanical, rules bound, and policy-driven.
Nothing of the heart or any internal depth to it.
This is why I prefer ‘Lines of love of respect.’ It seems to connect better to something that is of heart value. Something that is evolving.
It also sounds condemning. Continue reading “The Evolution of Empowered Boundaries”
Criticism can hurt, bruise and extinguish our hearts, but learning how to handle criticism can build new strength and resilience.
I could see the hope drain out of him as I watched both the subtle and not so subtle criticisms land upon him.
I was in a meeting with a guy I was supporting, and we were problem-solving.
Every solution he suggested was shot down. It was one little cat scratch after another. He would say a few words, and the critic would speak five hundred back.
The poor guy, I thought. I wondered what it was like when he was alone with this woman. No wonder he was depressed, anxious, and stuck.
Criticism can strangle a heart till it gives up and doesn’t try anymore. The words of a critic start to be believed as a truth in your own being. Your inner critic starts negating you. You’re on a downward spiral. Continue reading “When You Have to Handle Criticism”
Trust can get broken so easily, but we can build a new trust by cognitively reassessing our situations. It takes time and effort, but it is worth it.
There was a rebuilding that needed to happen. It was a rebuilding of trust in themselves and with others.
Somewhere, some time, every one of us is going to have our trust broken. We live with an expectation that certain things will happen the way we believe they will happen. The rules won’t get broken. That the promises made will be kept.
But trust gets broken in many different areas of our lives. Continue reading “Four steps to Build A New Trust”
2020 has been a year of many incredible challenges having to be overcome, but perhaps we have learned some valuable lessons out of the year.
As I write this, it’s the last day of 2020, and what a year it has been.
Here is a list of reflections from the year.
The first three are my own. Continue reading “15 Lessons from 2020”
There are many lonely people. Strangers in a strange land, but we can welcome them and perhaps discover an angel in disguise.
I was visiting a home the other day, and an older lady met me. I had never met her before, and she told me that she was visiting her daughter and son-in-law, who lived there.
We chatted briefly about the garden work I needed to do then she offered me a coffee. I said that would be great after I finished the job.
I duly finished the job, and she brought me a refreshing cup of coffee. Continue reading “Welcoming a Stranger and Finding an Angel”
Six people you don’t want help from, and there could be more; therefore, its time to detach from them and have them leave your emotional room.
There are some people that I am wary of getting help from or even suggesting others get help from. They may be well-meaning, have good intentions, and a deep desire to help, but they come up short on wisdom.
There is something about them that just doesn’t feel right and shouts ‘avoid.’
Have you come across people like that? Continue reading “Six People To Put Out Of Your Mental Health Room”
We open the heart and then find our trust is broken, but trust is fragile at the best of times, so we are wisely careful with the gift.
It’s those secret little internal vows we make that can cause so much damage.
As I wrote some words upon a whiteboard, I could see her affirm what I was writing. ‘I’m never going to trust again’.
She had opened her heart to someone, and it had got broken badly. She had trusted someone, shared the deep stuff, and now that part of her was locked in a coffin of her own making and was nailed down tight. A vow had been made. Continue reading “I’m Never Going to Trust my Heart to You Because …”
At times we can seem so small and vulnerable like a speck of clay, but joined together, we can take on the challenges such as COVID 19. Let’s bind together for our Mental Health.
‘Particulate’ is an interesting word. It refers to a minute separate particle. In a cup of flour, the particulates would be every little particle of flour, different of itself but essential in the whole.
Back in the eighties, I studied Agriculture, and one of the classes I took was soil science. We studied rocks and minerals, silt, sand, and clay. Out of the soil come the very foundations of our existence. ‘Healthy soil = healthy food = healthy people’ was the 1942 mantra of J.I. Rodale. Continue reading “A Particulate of Clay takes on COVID-19”
It’s an isolated world, well, sort of, but it’s one that needs courage and compassion if we are going to create connection.
Today as I write this, is it our first day of mandatory nationwide lockdown in New Zealand due to the spread of the Corona Virus. People have been told to stay at home. There is an eerie quietness to where we live. The motorway a few kilometers provides no hum.
Two words keep coming to my thinking: courage and compassion. Continue reading “What the World needs now is Courage and Compassion”