Emotional pain can bump our lives into behaviors that can hurt us further. But we can make a change by learning to listen to the pain, where it’s sourced, and what it wants us to do.
He was in pain. I could see it, feel it, and totally understand it. I couldn’t take his emotional pain away, but I did want him to know one thing.
She was also was in pain. In everything she said and did, there was an expression of emotional pain. I wanted her to know this one thing. Continue reading “The One Thing to Remember when the Emotional Pain is too much”
Trust can get broken so easily, but we can build a new trust by cognitively reassessing our situations. It takes time and effort, but it is worth it.
There was a rebuilding that needed to happen. It was a rebuilding of trust in themselves and with others.
Somewhere, some time, every one of us is going to have our trust broken. We live with an expectation that certain things will happen the way we believe they will happen. The rules won’t get broken. That the promises made will be kept.
But trust gets broken in many different areas of our lives. Continue reading “Four steps to Build A New Trust”
When hope is deferred, our heart grows sick, but when we see and know the hope fulfilled in the now, we can build resilience to the struggles of the day.
People traveled long distances hoping to get some of the money ‘falling from the sky.’
A few nights ago, I watched a news item about a publicity marketing stunt that made a seemingly genuine promise and failed to deliver.
A company had promised.
‘New Zealand’s first mass cash drop.’
‘We’re dropping $105,891.40 [$74,558.13 USD] in value from the sky’
‘YES. Actual money will be flying …’
Instead, it was fake money and vouchers for discounts at their online store. Continue reading “Money Falling From The Sky and a Hope Deferred”
We can all carry too many worries, anxieties, and cares, but when we learn how to cast, we can find a new sense of wholeness, peace, and shalom.
‘That is a lot you are carrying,’ I said as they paused and took a breath.
So many worries, thoughts, and distractions going around in their head. It was, as someone described it, a monkey mind. Clattering noisy monkeys vying for your attention in the cage of your brain.
I had given them room to voice the noise, and only a little had slipped out.
For many of us, we have become so used to the noise of worry that we think it’s normal. Continue reading “How to Cast Your Cares on a Clydesdale God”
When there is an invite to change, there is always that question of ‘Can I walk on water?’. But with repeated experiences, we can learn confidence and literally change the way our brain works.
I wanted to say ‘hi’ and introduce myself to her, but the ‘what if’s’ were started to hold me back inside my boat. What if she rejects me, ignores me, dismisses me?
I stepped out of the boat, walked on water, said ‘Hi’ and we have been married now for 34 years.
Walking on water is a brain change moment.
Continue reading “Change Always Asks You to Walk on Water”
We all have a secret garden. A place we don’t want others to go near, but with three little words, we can build a bridge and not a wall.
I had been having a conversation with someone, and then suddenly, I felt the protection of a wall. The conversation changed, there was a ‘downplaying’ of the issue we talked about, and a new topic was introduced.
I could sense a wall protecting something, a tender topic, something they weren’t confident in exploring with me, yet if we were to grow in a relationship, we needed to be willing to build bridges and not walls.
“Let’s build bridges, not walls.” Martin Luther King Jr.
Three simple words build bridges and not walls. Tell me more. Continue reading “Three Words to Build a Bridge Instead of a Wall into the Secret Garden.”
There was no self confidence. It was gone like vapour from ash. But something reignited when we looked at the pebbles and not the mountain.
It was like I was looking at an empty shell. They were there in the room with me but there was very little confidence within them to do anything at all.
It had gone. Any self-belief they had seemed to have been sucked right out of them.
How did this happen? Well, they had been hammered on. Continue reading “Building a New Confidence from the Ash”
We can have an overreaction to life’s events, but when we search out what’s behind the reaction, we often find history-based pain. Let’s help the prickly pear.
It was a reaction I wasn’t expecting. I had made a few jokes, and their response wasn’t to have a simple laugh with me but to get highly defensive and even go on the attack.
Have you ever wondered why some people take offense even to something seemingly unoffensive?
Where no harm was meant but there sure was a reaction! Continue reading “Where is That Overreaction Coming From?”
Life can hand us a bunch of questions with few answers. But there is something inviting in a question, and so we explore a road less travelled.
When Bob climbed into the passenger seat next to me, I could see that something was wrong. He wasn’t his normal cheery self. It was like a question had gripped his thinking.
Have you ever had that experience? Something has happened in your life, and with a sense of shock, you are consumed with trying to understand it. Continue reading “When There are More Questions than Answers”
In our spiritual life, we want to know if we are making progress, but much of growth and formation is intangible, so we have to look deeper than a mere measurement.
It wasn’t the answer I was expecting, but when we dug a little deeper, I could see the wisdom.
I was talking with a counselor, and I asked him how do we know if we are growing spiritually or not? There isn’t any objective measuring tool where we can say we have moved 5 points ahead or back. That would really open us up to feelings of pride or failure.
What he said was along the lines of this. Continue reading “Can you Measure Spiritual Growth and Formation?”