They were too naked in their vulnerability. Too much too soon, but with careful listening, time, and respect, they began to feel deeply known.
They had been too naked with their vulnerability. They thought they were safe with this friend, that what they shared wouldn’t be exposed. But it was told to others, and now they had closed up and remained unknown.
When you’re naked, you’re open to critique, you’re vulnerable to both rejection and acceptance, and you’re never quite sure which way it will swing.
So now they share with no one. Everything is masked up and hidden away.
Secret thoughts, passions, desires, longings, and questions (lots of questions) stay behind the walls.
Perhaps one day, they will find the presence of someone that can listen to the naked vulnerability of their story and sacrificially clothe them with acceptance. Continue reading “You’re Being Too Naked in Your Vulnerability”
It was my shame, but it wasn’t to be carried alone. I had a friend who knew it all, and God entered in and healed the pain.
I was being laughed at. I was only a seven-year-old, but for the first time, I felt the cold icy winds of being mocked and shamed.
The situation was that it was my school assembly and I thought our class had won a prize for some art project. So I got up from sitting on the floor and started to walk to the front.
Within seconds I realized that I was the only one standing and moving.
Slinking back to sit on the floor, I felt every eye was on me. I felt very alone and stupid. Kids were laughing and making sport of me.
That was the first time I remember being exposed to the humiliation of getting it wrong. I went on to have many other moments of shame.
Like a bumper boat being shoved from one intrusive experience to the next, our little life gets bumped and bruised along a passage of painful moments. Continue reading “The God Who Enters My Shame”
Many people fear that God will leave them, but you have a very good reason why this will not happen. God has a reputation to uphold. A reputation of perfect love.
Deep, deep down, I think one of my greatest fears is that of abandonment. That I will be kicked out of the tribe, the family, the grouping, I will be alone.
Like a leper cast out of the town, I will be on the outside whilst everyone else is enjoying community on the inside. The party is going on, but the door is shut and bolted to entry.
Dig into the deep longings of your heart, and I think you will find a similar fear. We were created to enjoy a party going on, not the sterility of an isolation ward. Continue reading “God Will Never Leave You and Here is Why”
It can be so debilitating to be told ‘you need to have boundaries,’ but as you grow the heart, a new empowered strength slowly builds within.
‘You really need to have boundaries’
How many times have you heard this said or even said it yourself?
I always feel a little cringe when I hear these words. There is just something about it that sounds legalistic, mechanical, rules bound, and policy-driven.
Nothing of the heart or any internal depth to it.
This is why I prefer ‘Lines of love of respect.’ It seems to connect better to something that is of heart value. Something that is evolving.
It also sounds condemning. Continue reading “The Evolution of Empowered Boundaries”
Dreams, visions, and revelations are part of our lives, but what do we do with them? We can treasure them and find their help.
Each night as I am about to sleep, I pray a simple two-word prayer – ‘Spirit come.’ I then emotionally see myself being cocooned inside wide and welcoming arms like a little child that needs deep love and assurance.
I have puzzled over why these are the two words I pray, and I think it’s the desire to enter my new day within the embrace of Spirit (Holy).
See more about entering your day by going to sleep here.
I generally drift off in this prayerful embrace, but a few nights ago, I met a crocodile. Continue reading “Dreams, Visions, and Revelations. How they can help”
For many, God can be like a drill sergeant, demanding and harsh, but that is a flawed understanding of God. When we look closely at the diamond, we can see other facets.
If you follow the rules and commands, then everything will be ok. Step out of line and watch out.
I’ve talked with many people about their understanding of what God is like, and after much discussion, we often hone the description down to being one of God being like a Drill Sergeant.
It’s a heart description; it’s how they feel about God. They may have an intellectual knowledge of God being love and compassion etc., but when you get down to a metaphor to describe God, it’s something akin to being like a drill sergeant. Continue reading “When God is like a Drill Sergeant”
There is a gentle approach to how the heart and mind can change. Instead of the force of a flood, it’s a refreshing rain. Let’s learn to absorb the goodness.
There is something very special to me about a nice soft rain shower in the middle of a dry summer. It soaks in, and the soil receives it as a gift of gentleness.
I have been involved in land-based businesses for many years. Gardening, horticulture, and farming. It’s those sweet, gentle summer rains that bring such refreshment.
Being like a sponge, the soil soaks up every drop. Then the microbes, fungi, bacteria, worms, and all the unseen world beneath our feet are replenished. Seeds germinate, trees flush with newness, and the land feels like it has been gently washed. Continue reading “The Gentle Approach to Heart and Mind Change”
When you’re in a dark hole, it can feel like there is a loss of hope, but you can dig yourself out with some wisdom and encouragement.
It was a hole that I had fallen into. I was in a deep dark hole where the sun didn’t seem to reach.
That is what a mental illness can be like—All-consuming, overwhelming, and a ‘blocking out’ of the reality of anything possibly being different. The fog bank is all-consuming.
I was in a hole, but I was not alone. Alongside though were bible characters who had also been in a similar place. Elijah, Moses, David, Jonah, Jeremiah, Job, Naomi, Paul, Peter, Judas, to name the ones that we know of that had emotional struggles. Even Jesus struggled with his dark night of anguish and a time when the sun refused to shine.
God handed me a spade and encouraged me to start digging. Continue reading “When You Find Yourself in a Dark Hole, Start Digging”
Why you get so angry can give a clear direction about who you truly are. It’s a matter of the heart. Your anger can indicate what you hold most dear.
As they became more whole, the anger started to simmer, then boil, and then it flowed over the containment of their life. It was, in a frightening way, beautiful and needed to happen.
Anger can be highly destructive. But flowing out without constraint can damage and burn. We all have this capacity to pour out our emotions of being hurt, mistreated, abused.
Some of the deepest hurts come from those we are in the closest relationship to. Those who we would hope and expect to know our hearts are often the ones who will not listen and show love and respect to our tender places.
I think of the patterns we set up so young to defend that tender heart. A little bruise, and a little slight, and we begin to build a fortress.
‘No one is ever going to hurt me again like that.’ Continue reading “You’re so angry and it’s going to help you”
Can anything good come out of that time, place, or person? Only if we take a risk and explore. We are invited to ‘come and see.’
I was raised on a farm near a small town called Wellsford. In fact, my ancestors settled there in the 1860s, migrating from England. Through this town and the middle of our farm, a very busy road ran, taking traffic to one of the poorer areas of New Zealand, Northland.
It was also the route to some of the most beautiful beaches and summer holiday spots we have.
My little town was a place you mostly went through or stopped off for refreshments (amusingly, that’s how it’s still referred to on tourism websites).
It was also a place where many decided to leave. If you wanted to advance and get a better education or work, then you had to leave. Continue reading “Can anything good come from this?”