We are created for connection, so feeling rejected can be harsh and cold. God gathers up the rejected.
I think I was the only one who saw him shrivel away under the rejection of others.
He had tried to do something different. He wanted to be part of the team, but all he got was jeering and laughter.
I watched as he quietly walked away from the group of boys.
Girls can be equally nasty in rejection.
All rejections have one message. ‘You don’t belong here, with me, with us.’
The reason rejection is such a powerful emotion is that we are designed for the complete opposite of rejection. We are designed for connection. Deep soul in-to-me-see (intimacy) connection.
That first rejection by a potential girlfriend. The boy you have a crush on does not even notice you’re in the room.
A little parasite enters the mind. ‘There is no beauty in me. I have no value. I am a reject.’
When you feel rejected
There is something beautiful that happens when you spend a little time daily in the ancient text of the Bible.
You soon realise that people thousands of years ago had the same emotional struggles that you do.
Many of them felt rejection, loss, and estrangement.
But when you build a habit of spending time with them, you suddenly don’t feel so alone.
This morning I was listening to my daily lectio, and the reading was Psalm 27.
The verse that grabbed me was Psalm 27:10
If my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will take me up. Psalm 27:10
‘Forsake’ is a terrifying word. It means ‘to have nothing to do with’. It’s the ultimate rejection.
In this psalm, the psalmist points to the potential forsaking of one’s very own father and mother.
That’s a huge rejection. That’s the ultimate ‘You are not my son or my daughter’
The Lord will take me up
There is hope.
In our English translations, we read, ‘The Lord will take me up’.
This is derived from the beautiful word ya·’as·p̄ê·nî , which comes from the word asaph which means to gather, collect, assemble, remove, or take away.
In the story of Ruth, we find a young widow asking permission to gather (asaph) leftover grain in the fields.
She asks to ‘take up’ the rejected grain left behind after the harvesters had gone through.
She said, ‘Please let me glean and gather (asaph) among the sheaves behind the harvesters.’ Ruth 2:7
It’s a beautiful picture.
That which was rejected, overlooked, and left behind was gathered up by the poor.
It was in the law that the ‘rejects’ of the harvest were to be made available to the poor.
When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very edges of your field, or gather the gleanings of your harvest; you shall leave them for the poor and for the alien: I am the Lord your God. Leviticus 23:22
God knows there will be rejection. Everyone of us has freedom of choice.
But even in that rejection, there is still worth, beauty, value and purpose.
God has an eye on every grain.
When you have been rejected
It can feel very lonely when you’ve been rejected.
It can feel equally lonely when you are the one that has decided to leave and ‘reject’ certain people because they are harmful to you.
Our little psalm offers comfort.
God gathers you up.
Another comfort comes from Psalm 68:6
God sets the lonely in families. Psalm 68:6
I have found that God seems to open up other relationships in which there is an acceptance of that which was rejected. They see the bruised and damaged grain and offer it a home.
Feeling rejected? Take me up
If they reject me
If they cast me to the side
If they ignore my longing heart
The Lord will take me in
If my mother refuses to look
If my father doesn’t move
If my soul lies languid in a pool of tears
The Lord will gather me in
I sit and wait in silence
My soul has lost its vibe
Who will sing me a new song?
The Lord will draw me to his side
Take me up Lord
Gather me into you
In your sweet eternal music
That’s where I have my view
Each day as I walk
I have a constant friend
Gathering my broken fragments
New beauty builds again
Quotes to consider
- When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. Henri J.M. Nouwen
- God meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be or wish we were. Larry Crabb
Thinking compass
God gathers the rejected. There is a place for me.
How to Develop a Compass for the Brain
Questions to answer
- Where have you felt rejected?
- Have you had to ‘reject’ others or put in firm boundaries?
- What examples can you think of where God opens up ‘families’ as such for when we have been rejected?
Formation exercise
- Think of the times when you have felt rejected. What did you most need in those times?
Further reading
Barry Pearman
Photo by Henock Arega on Unsplash
Contact me
