The Real Problem

The Real Problem

We have obvious problems, but real problems, the ones that drive us to unwell ness, can only be resolved by deep soul work. What’s going on underneath?

We have problems. Every one reading this will have multiple problems.

I just got news from a family member that the biopsies came back negative for cancer. A huge problem has been resolved. Relief floods my soul.

Some problems are obvious. I need food for dinner, a home to live in, a job. I need a friend who won’t use and abuse me. I need security.

They are very real problems.

Perhaps for those very real problems, the use of a problem solving sheet may be of help. Finding a practical solution to the problems of now can bring much relief to the stress loads we carry.

But more often than not, I have found that a quick fix solution to the obvious problem in front of us is short-lived. The real problem is something deeper. Something possibly hidden consciously or unconsciously.

The addict will remain an addict until the deeper world of one’s motivations is gently explored and brought to truth.

The Real Problem

I want to explore the foundations of the soul.

Where would Jesus go? What questions would he ask?

What is the real problem underlying my life that is hindering my following Jesus closer?

A rich man came to Jesus one day wanting to gain more life, more abundance, more of everything that is on offer. To have a continuous supply of the good life.

As he went out into the street, a man came running up, greeted him with great reverence, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?”

Jesus said, “Why are you calling me good? No one is good, only God. You know the commandments: Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, honor your father and mother.”

He said, “Teacher, I have—from my youth—kept them all!”

Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him! He said, “There’s one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me.”

The man’s face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go. Mark 10:17- 22

The problem the man wanted solving was he wanted security of flow.

An assurance that the good life would continue to roll on for him. That there would always be money in the bank, have friends, and that life would be perfect. No pain, no loneliness, no struggle.

In his mind, he had kept all the rules. Followed the faith religiously, but still there was something more.

The problem in his mind was the uncertainty of this flow.

Jesus, with gently curious questions, looked under this rich mans appearance and saw the grip this mans possessions had on him.

The real problem was not what he possessed, but what had possessed him. ‘He was holding on tight to a lot of things,’ and they were holding on tight to him. 

Revealing the concealed things

There is something that needs revealing. Not in the way of exposure to what might shame or embarrass.

But more so a revealing of a nugget of gold or a sparkling diamond buried under a mountain of dirt.

A purpose to be drawn out. A beauty to be endorsed and revealed.

It’s a glorious thing to be part of revealing a problem that is holding one back and seeing Jesus speak the truth to that problem.

It is the glory of God to conceal things,
    but the glory of kings is to search things out. Proverbs 25:2

What is the real problem that is holding you back and keeping you small?

Supernatural goals need supernatural resources. Dr. Larry Crabb

The Problem Underneath

The problem underneath
Is the one we need to know
What is presented above the surface
Is only part of the show

Only a little bit of an iceberg
Floats above the waves
What’s hidden below
Can send a boat to its grave

You present to me a problem
But I know there’s more below
If you truly want to change
Down steps, we must go

Gentle questions
Curious thoughts
Empowering pondering’s
New paths being sought

We circle the place
Come back time and time again
Until a light bulb flashes
An insight birthed from strain

Like everyone you want a quick fix
But a magic wand, I do not have
I have some gently curious questions
That will take us to places you may not want to go

I won’t leave you in that dark place
I am curious to find that light too
There’s a problem underneath
Spirit knows it too

Can we go below the waterline?
Can we explore that inner cave?
A child has formed that inner place
Let’s slow dance for a child to save

As you sing your life’s problem song
I will get the rhythm and dance along
Let’s break the habit chain
Of ‘just getting along’

There’s a problem underneath
I want to know so much more
Slowly taking off the mask
Your true self coming forth

 

Why this matters for Mental Health?

The real problem, that drives and energises much mental unwellness, often goes unattended to because we focus on the above waterline problems that present themselves.

 

Questions? 
Comments?
Email me 🙂📨
barry@turningthepage.co.nz

Give a little gift to keep the pages turning

 

Quotes to consider

  • It takes a while to realize what life is all about. We don’t ask the hard questions until we have to. Larry Crabb soultalk
  • Learn to respond to others with honest, open questions instead of counsel or corrections. With such questions, we help “hear each other into deeper speech.” Parker J. Palmer
  • When you speak to me about your deepest questions, you do not want to be fixed or saved: you want to be seen and heard, to have your truth acknowledged and honored. Parker J. Palmer.
  • Good work is relational, and its outcomes depend on what we are able to evoke from each other. Parker J. Palmer
  • It is usually most helpful to ask questions that are more about the person than about the problem. Parker J. Palmer 
  • There are questions which illuminate, and there are those that destroy. We should ask the first kind. Isaac Isador Rabi.

Questions to answer

  1. Presenting problems and problems underneath the surface. What gains the attention the most?
  2. Who helps you to discover the real problem underneath?
  3. What is required to help discover the real problem?

Formation exercise

  • As you listen to someone this week and they discuss a problem with you. Note the presenting problem. Then consider what the real problem might be under the surface. What do you feel an immediate rush to solve? What creates more questions and mystery in you? Where do you feel drawn to explore with gentle, curious questions?

Further reading

The Problem is Not the Problem

How to Help Others Solve Problems in 8 Steps

You’re not a Problem to be Fixed

Barry Pearman

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

 

Add your email address in the box below and click 'Yes Please'

Check your Inbox for an email from me. Check your spam folder too

As a way of saying thanks, give a donation 

Social Share Buttons and Icons powered by Ultimatelysocial