How are you? Where are you?

I want to know. How are you? Where are you? Then I can be with you where you are. God can not help a pretending or hiding heart.

They were the words that I listened for over the radio in the mid-90’s.

‘How are you? Where are you?’

These words were spoken by broadcaster Peter Montgomery

when he talked to the skippers of various yachts competing in The Ocean Race.

Back over the radio came a voice, often crackly and harsh, giving an update on the race.

Especially interesting were those times when the yachts were in the Antarctic Ocean.

Reports given back contained stories of wild winds, icebergs, and huge waves. Sometimes masts would be broken, and other yachts in the fleet would have to go to the rescue.

It was high adventure and a race. But the words were also an inquiry about the boat and sailors.

The vulnerability of those sailors and boat being so far from land.

Being thrown about in the wildness of the unknown, yet with all bravery, still looking into the future.

It, I suppose, is also the story of you and me at times.

So how are you, and where are you?

How are you? Where are you?

Often in my Soultalk conversations, I will ask the person I am listening to essentially that question.

How are you? Where are you?

How are you right here and now?

Where are you right here and now in your thoughts and feelings?

How is the small boat of your life?

I recently asked someone that question, and they said that they felt like their boat was taking on water.

Very vivid description. Very accurate.

Others might say

‘I feel like I’ve been hit by an enormous wave. I’ve been broadsided, and my boat is reeling’
‘I feel like I’m dead in the water. There is no wind, no movement, no current. I am becalmed and in the doldrums’
‘I’ve just left land, I’m heading towards the unknown, and I see a tremendous storm on the horizon.’

Every journey begins where you are.

Every journey begins where you are. Larry Crabb

I like that idea.

As write this, it’s early in the morning, and the birds are welcoming the day. The journey of the day began last night when I turned off the light and entered sleep.

I awoke and entered what God had been up to while I was resting. I wonder where Providence has touched down on my little boat.

I see a lovely email from someone I spoke to yesterday.

I think of a dear friend who has had his boat broadsided through a death in his family.

I await the rising of the sun and hope I don’t have too many headwinds for my little boat of life to sail into.

My truth is ‘this is me’.

This is how I am. This is where I am.

I want to pretend. I want to be somewhere else.

At times, I want to present myself as being someone else. Maybe a kind of superhero.

But that’s not reality. That’s not truth, and God knows it.

God meets us where we are.

Another quote from Larry Crabb

God meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be or wish we were.
My job is to pay attention to where I am.
When I enter my reality (my red-dot truth), He brings His reality, His truth, into mine.
Truth is a two-way street.
When I avoid my truth, I nod politely, and I might even smile or say amen when I hear His.
But not much happens.
God’s truth does not set free a pretending or hiding heart. Larry Crabb

Imagine Peter Montgomery, the radio broadcaster I mentioned earlier, calling up one of those skippers and hearing them say they have beautiful winds, sunny skies, and all is going well.

But in reality, in their truth and brutal honesty, they are taking on water and have a broken mast.

God can not help a pretending or hiding heart.

Why are they not sharing their truth? Why are they living under pretense?

Could they be engulfed in s.h.a.m.e.? Should have already mastered everything.

I think we all need a few loving, gentle people in our lives who will move towards us and ask some gently curious questions that probe below the waterline of first appearances.

God, in providential care, sends people who know how to ask gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) questions to bring people to reality.

I see you’ve got a broken mast. Do you need some help?
I see your boat is carrying a cargo of anger. Is that a difficult, unbalanced load to carry?
Have pirates stormed your boat? What have they stolen?
Has your boat hit a rock? Are you stuck on a sandbank?

So how are you, and where are you?

Quotes to consider

God meets us where we are, to empower us to move closer to where we long to be. He does not meet us where we pretend to be, or where we wish we were, or where in better days we once were. He meets us where we confess to be. Larry Crabb Fully Alive
Real encouragement occurs when words are spoken from a heart of love to another’s recognized fear. Larry Crabb
You have to dare to live through the pain and struggle. Acknowledge your anguish but do not let it pull you out of yourself. Hold on to your chosen direction, your discipline, your prayer, your work, your guides, and trust that one day love will have conquered enough of you that even the most fearful part will allow love to cast out all fear. Henri Nouwen
Although incredibly seductive, anything that promises the light without acknowledging the shadow isn’t telling the whole story. Ingrid Mathieu
There is no greater disaster in the spiritual life than to be immersed in unreality, for life is maintained and nourished in us by our vital relation with realities outside and above us. When our life feeds on unreality, it must starve and die. The death by which we enter into life is not an escape from reality but a complete gift of ourselves which involves a total commitment to reality. Thomas Merton Thoughts in Solitude
Reality itself – my limited and sometimes misinterpreted experience – is the revelatory place for God. But for some reason, we prefer fabricated realities to the strong and sensitizing face of what is. The spiritual life begins with accepting and living our reality. Richard Rohr Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer
Life – Don’t drift through it, use your oars. Steer it or regret it. David Riddell

Questions to answer

How are you? Where are you?
Why do we pretend and not be open and honest to one person about our truth – how we are, where we are?
What are the qualities of a person who can handle the truth, the raw truth, but still help you find God’s truth in a gentle way?