Learning How to Stop: Centering prayer

Our minds can be so busy, but learning how to stop is so crucial to our wellbeing. Perhaps centering prayer offers some help.

I was watching a two-year-old boy the other day. He was full on in active mode. Walking here and there, playing with this and that.

But his mother knew what was coming. He was going to come to a stop.

A little but grumpy, a little more wanting cuddles, a little more rubbing eyes.

She picked him up, took him to his bed, and a few moments later, he was asleep.

All that activity and the changes going on in his growing body resulted in the need for a nap.

Slowing down and stopping is essential for anyone at any age.

We think we might miss out, there is so much to do, but stopping is essential for deep soul work to be done.

How are you at stopping?

Does the anxious mind demand resolution?

Does the depressed place long for a friend?

How can I still my mind?

How can I come to a stop?

A cradle

I remember back in school seeing a newtons cradle.

This is a picture of one of them.

As one ball is released, it collides into the next ball. The energy contained within the moving ball is transferred through all the other balls and the ball at the end swings out and then returns to repeat the pattern.

Some people actually use a newtons cradle to help them get to sleep.

But eventually the balls stop. The energy is dispersed; the momentum comes to an end, and the balls come to rest.

(Sorry to all those physics people who could explain this better than I)

We, with all the energy for change and creativity that is stored up within us, need to come to a stop or a pause.

It’s call sleep.

It’s called Sabbath.

It’s learning the rhythm of God that was meant for us to be living within.

Day calls out to night – ‘I am ready to stop’
Night allures the day – ‘Come to me and rest’

Learning stillness through centering prayer

We all need to learn how to stop. We can so easily transfer the busyness of the day into the evening, and then ‘I’l just finish these things off before I go to bed’

Centering prayer, which can be done at any time of the days offers a way of training the brain to slow own and focus. It’s a slowing down the pendulum swing of the mind to quietly focus on a word or phrase.

I find Dr. David Benners explanation helpful

Centering prayer cannot be reduced to a method, but there is a framework for its practice.

That framework can be summarized in two short sentences:
Be with God within.
Use a prayer word to stay and return.

To expand on this slightly, let me organize the practice around four guidelines that I find helpful:

(1) select a love word or a prayer word for God,
(2) sit relaxed and quiet,
(3) turn your attention to the Lord present within you, and
(4) whenever you become aware of anything, gently return to the Lord with your prayer word.

1. Begin by selecting a word that connects you to the Lord in love or that reminds you of your intention.

This might be a favorite name for God (Abba, Lord, Jesus, Father, Love, etc.), or it might simply be a word that opens you to God or reminds you of why you are doing what you are doing (trust, still, open or let go).

Don’t worry if it takes some time for you to settle on this word.

But once you do, allow it to be your prayer word.

It is not a magical talisman that should be expected to produce a desired sired spiritual effect.

The word itself is neutral. It is your intent that makes it sacred.

2. Then, as you settle yourself in stillness, offer a brief worded prayer asking for help and declaring your intention of being present to the God who is present to you in love.

3. Now turn your heart toward God.

Be open in faith and love to the One who dwells in the center of your being.

You do not need to do anything to capture God’s attention or love.

You do not even need to think of or speak to God. Simply be with God in love.

4. When you become aware that you are thinking of something-regardless of whatever that might be-gently say your prayer word once as a way of releasing whatever was in your mind and returning to being with God in stillness.

Do not keep repeating the word as a mantra.

Just allow the single utterance of it to turn you away from the distraction and toward the Lord.

Note that even thoughts about God count as distractions.

This isn’t the time to think about God. It’s time to simply be open to and with God.

Most teachers of centering prayer suggest daily centering sessions of twenty minutes.

I find that when beginning the practice, five to ten minutes is often sufficient.

As with any form of contemplative prayer, it is important to first find a place where you can be still and uninterrupted.

Although it would be hard to develop the prayer practice without some degree of silence and solitude, once the prayer has become your own, you will find that it is quite possible to center yourself in God’s presence even when in the midst of the flow of a busy day.

Simply draw in a deep breath, offer your prayer word and let go of all that swirls within you as you allow yourself to sink into God’s loving presence. David G. Benner. Opening to God: Lectio Divina and Life as Prayer

I might add that those that with attention deficit issues focus on the ‘prayer word’ for 30 seconds and then another extend this a little millimetre each day.

Read What the research says about the benefits of meditation for ADHD

Learning how to stop

Always distractions
Always movement
Always something to do
I’m learning how to stop

What will others think
What will others do
What leper on the side of the road will I miss
If I don’t learn how to stop

I want to hear creations speech
I long for nighttimes knowledge
Voice that cannot be heard
Seep into me as I stop

I quieten my body
I quieten my mind
For 15 seconds I will still a cup
With ripples Oh so fine

Focus on a word
A bridegroom coming forth
Glorious in majesty
I’m learning how to stop

I listen for the whispers
Of voice within the breeze
Sweet flow of mystery
Eternal presence inviting me to stop

I have a list Lord
Creative things to do
Isn’t that what you made me for
To do what you have asked me to

Come sit beside the waters
Come fill your empty cup
There is more abundance here for you
Because you’ve learned how to stop

I am learning how to stop
Learning to listen for voice
I am not afraid to enter that place
Listening for your voice

The heavens are telling the glory of God;
    and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.
²Day to day pours forth speech,
    and night to night declares knowledge.
³There is no speech, nor are there words;
    their voice is not heard;
⁴yet their voice goes out through all the earth,
    and their words to the end of the world.

In the heavens he has set a tent for the sun,
⁵which comes out like a bridegroom from his wedding canopy,
    and like a strong man runs its course with joy.
⁶Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
    and its circuit to the end of them;
    and nothing is hidden from its heat. Psalm 19:1-6

Questions?
Comments?
Email me 🙂📨
barry@turningthepage.co.nz

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Quotes to consider

Prayer is easily ruined when we make it a project – part of a spiritual self-improvement plan. Rather than pushing yourself forward by resolve, allow God to lead you by desire. The most typical evidence of grace at work within us is not awareness of duty but awareness of desire. David G. Benner, Opening to God: Lectio Divina and Life as Prayer

The only thing we should seek in prayer is God. When we focus on how we are doing or what we are getting out of prayer, we have taken our eyes off God and put them back on our self. David G. Benner
We do not pray so that we can get God’s attention. We pray so that God will get our attention. David G. Benner

I accept Augustine’s maxim of solvitor ambulando – things are solved by walking.’ Sometimes when I walk, I think of God, and sometimes I explicitly direct worded thoughts to God. But my walking prayer is in no way limited to these times when I specifically speak to God. The whole experience is prayer when I walk with openness before God. David G. Benner
Teresa of Avila says that the important thing in prayer is not to think much but to love much. The head is not a bad place to start our prayer journey. But if prayer stays there too long and does not begin to sink to the heart, it will inevitably become arid and frustrating. David G. Benner

Questions to answer

How do you close out the day?
Have you learned how to stop?
If you were to choose a prayer word to quietly repeat, what would it be? Or maybe, to put in another way, what prayer word would choose you?