Throwing Pearls to Pigs

I know some people who have a pig on their farm. They feed it food scraps and grass. They don’t throw it pearls.

Some people don’t have the capacity to hold precious things.

They don’t have the wisdom to hold well.

I think one of the most hurtful and disappointing things that can happen to anyone is when you open up, be vulnerable, share something deep of the soul, and this gift is mistreated.

You share an ‘in-to-me-see’ but the other doesn’t know what to do with it.

They don’t even have an understanding of how to grasp the tenderness of what you’ve shared.

There is a sacredness within the situation. It’s a stepping on to holy ground.

You are presenting them a pearl, a pearl of great price, but they can’t grasp the beauty. They don’t have eyes to see or the wisdom to care.

Instead, they see something to be eaten. To be consumed like everything else presented to them.

If it’s not of any nutritional value to them, then it’s best trampled into the ground. After doing this trampling, their self-centred demand for food remains and so they attack you for not giving them what demand. Pig slop.

You are left feeling mauled and violated.

Throwing pearls to pigs

Jesus once said this

Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you. Matthew 7:6

Pearls were very rare in Jesus’ day. Few of his listeners would have seen one, let alone touch one. But they would have heard about them.

As we now know, pearls are formed from the oyster protecting itself from a parasitic worm trying to kill it.

A battle between the oyster and the parasite has ensued, and the mollusc suffocate the attacker in layers and layer of calcium carbonate. So many layers that it has now been formed into a ball.

What you see, when you see a pearl, is a piece of battle art. A battle of creation has taken place.

Isn’t the struggle worthy of deep appreciation?

Jesus is saying to not give your deepest value to those who won’t treat it with the same value you do.

I’ve done this at times. I remember sharing a pearl with someone and then, a little while later, found that it had been gossiped about to others. The ‘oyster shell’ of my heart closed to them, and others. It remains closed to them and people like them.

I learned a valuable lesson. Not everyone is able to handle the deep stuff of life. Some people aren’t equipped to carry the fire you have been called to carry. Forgive them anyway.

Let them have their trip

At times throughout my life, I have been deeply ministered to through the work of Rob Bell.

It’s like he creates a piece of content just at the very right time for a need I have at that time.

One of those pieces of content was a podcast called ‘Let them have their trip’.

Pigs are pigs. They will never appreciate pearls. They are on a piggy trip.

Dogs are dogs. They will never appreciate pearls. They are on a doggy trip.

Some people will never get you or what you are on about. Let them have their trip.

If you want to understand coal, talk to a coal miner.

Everyone of us has something deeply beautiful and important within us and we need pearl merchants to seek it out.

Someone who knows the difference between the real thing and plastic make believe.

If you keep throwing pearls to pigs, then be ready for them to trample over you and then attack you.

By the way, to switch it around, are you being continually mauled by others? Do you feel what you offer others is treated with disdain and contempt? Perhap you are throwing pearls to pigs.

The saddest thing I continue to find in talking to people, are people who have closed themselves, much like an oyster shell does, to the possibility of being known, explored, discovered and touched.

How to be safe with others pearls

Someone comes to you and you sense the ‘oyster shell’ of their heart beginning to open. They want to share something deep with you.

Here are some thoughts on being safe with them.

1. Don’t be in a rush. Make time, generous time, to sit with the oyster shell and let it open in its own good time. It may months, even years.

2. Don’t F.A.S.S. them. Don’t come with an attitude of wanting to Fix them, Advise them, Save them, or Set them straight. They may want you to do that, but resist the pull. Something deeper is needed here. It’s a place of holy ground where a dance is being played out. Allow it to sing.

3. Do ask gently curious questions. Not harsh statements. Not demanding words, but gentle questions that invite them to feel safe and be open and expose the in-to-me-see.

4. Do be open to conversion. I like this quote.

True conversation always puts the conversant’s at risk, because you cannot truly converse without the risk of conversion. Lee Bernard J., Cowan Michael A. Gathered and sent: the mission of small church communities today.

I want to learn from the oyster and the pearl. To do this, I have to be willing to be converted. To stop being a pig and instead become a pearl merchant willing to sell everything they have to purchase the pearl. Safe conversations work both ways.

I have this beautiful pearl

I have this beautiful pearl
It cost me everything
It fills a vacuum in my heart
Wisdom glowing in the dark

I have this beautiful pearl
People call me a fool
But they have not seen what I’ve seen
When wisdom stepped in the room

Pigs won’t ever understand
The beauty of my pearl
They have not been where I’ve been
This beauty to unfurl

I have this beautiful pearl
Some say ‘Sell it to feed the Poor’
But they know not the wisdom that can flow out
From the struggle with God’s lore

I have a beautiful pearl
I want to share it’s glow
Would you give up some time
For it for you to know

Wisdom is this pearl
Seek for it if you dare
You won’t find it in a pigsty
Or in the Satan’s lair

Seek and you will find
A beautiful pearl just right for you
An open hand is what you’ll need
For wisdom to meet with you

I have a beautiful pearl
I will hide it in my heart
I will share it with the very few
Pearl merchants just like you

Barry Pearman

Quotes to consider

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference. Elie Wiesel
We get in trouble whenever we forget that God never gave us the power or the right to change anyone. That is His job! Michael Liimatta
Be there for others but never leave yourself behind Dodinsky
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and some true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough.
Give the best you’ve got anyway.

You see,
in the final analysis it is between you and God ;
it was never between you and them anyway.

Questions to answer

Where have you experienced a ‘throwing your pearls to pigs’ experience and what was the response?
What makes a person safe for you to share your ‘pearls’ with?
What are your pearls? Everyone has them. Can you identify something good that has grown out of something that has wanted to take you out, like a parasite?

Formation exercise

When you are with someone this week and you are having a conversation, imagine they are like an oyster shell. There is a precious pearl within them. Something, if known, could be enjoyed and honoured. Think upon the four suggestions I made about being a safe pearl merchant. See if you can discover the pearl within the other.