When One Door Closes

When one door closes, another one opens, but when. We wait and watch for providence to blow.

It happened again last week. A door closed.

In my little gardening business, I have been mowing a small every fortnight for about a year. Then, last week, the property was sold, and I was no longer needed. A door closed.

A financial door closed. It was a door through which money passed through to me every fortnight.

But, I’ve had this happen many times, and I have learned that often another door opens in a few days’ time. More about this story at the end of the post.

Previously, whenever this sort of thing happened, I used to fret and worry. I still do to some degree, but now I ask, I seek, I knock and then I watch and I wait.

I ask, I seek, I knock and then I watch and I wait.

I’ve had some major doors close on me in my life. You probably have too.

Relational doors.

Perhaps you’re the one who closed the door.

Perhaps others have closed the door. Maybe they have even thrown you out the door, then bolted and locked it.

Maybe you had to close that door for your safety.

But now you look at that door, and there is a grief, a loss, and a sadness.

You might see light under the door; a party is going on, but you’re not invited.

Maybe the closed door is a death.

There’s the grief of losing a loved one. Feeling the warmth and impression of their body in the shared bed, but knowing they are gone.

There is a song of lament often just outside the closed door.

Even in life there can be a death.

So we enter a transitional time. A liminal space. The now and the not yet.

We don’t quite know how to pray.

Can I pray angry prayers? Can I be rude and annoying to God? Can I be like a petulant child and throw my toys out of the cot at God?

Can I sigh and groan? Romans 8:26

When one door closes

Alexander Graham Bell must have experience a few closed doors. Creative people do.

When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. Alexander Graham Bell

I found another version of this quote with some interesting words, especially for the creative.

Do not always follow the marked path that only leads where others have already gone … when one door closes, another opens; but we mostly look at the closed door with regret for so long that we don’t see the one that has opened for us.

We generally only hear ‘When one door closes, another door opens’.

Maybe it’s said as some kind of encouragement to keep looking forward.

At times it feels like the person saying it wants to get out of the awkward moment of deeply connecting with the person who has lost a job, a contract, a revenue.

But Bell, in the quote, continues.

But we mostly look at the closed door with regret for so long that we don’t see the one that has opened for us.

He points to the human tendency to look back, and to hold on to things of the past. To lament and enter a dark hole of regret and loss.

Yes, a door has been closed, and yes, there is a season to mourn, grieve, lament, and to cry.

For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

Anxiety and depression

The pendulum swings. Anxiety flings our thoughts to the future, and worry keeps them there.

Depression keeps us in what could have been. The mistakes and the failures. The shame and guilt.

We sit in a liminal space. Feelings of uncertainty, disorientation, and tension ghost wind around us.

We wonder, ‘where will our daily bread come from?’

We are becalmed in the doldrums of closed doors.

What are we to do?

I would suggest we need to ask, seek, and knock.

The opened door

Jesus tells a parable about a man who had a closed door.

And he said to them, ‘Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, “Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.”

And he answers from within, “Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.”

I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence [read impudent] he will get up and give him whatever he needs.

‘So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.

For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11:5-10

I want a door to open for me.

But what do I want them to open and give me?

Am I truly prepared for what I might find behind that door?

Be careful what you pray for because you might just get it.

For the man who had some hungry friends arrive late at night, it was simply three loaves of bread. Basic needs.

In this man, there is an audacity to wake up his friend and ask for help.

He was being impudent – shameless, rude, disrespectful. Down right cheeky!

Because of this attitude, his friend opens the door and gives him whatever he needs. Maybe even butter and jam too!

I am waiting for a door to open

In providential prayer I wait.

I ask, I seek, and I knock. When will the door open?

There is a period of time between the closing of one door and the opening of another.

I started off this post about a door closing for me. I lost a gardening client.

Three days later, I had a phone call from someone about mowing another lawn of a similar size, but this time I was able to charge double what I had charged the other client and I would have fewer costs.

I submitted a quote, and the quote was accepted.

This has been my pattern for a very long time.

A door closes, I ask God for help, I search patiently for new doors to appear, and then I knock.

It may take time for the house owner to come and open the door.

The door will open, but instead of three loaves of bread it might be a three-course meal. Way more than I had wanted, expected or dreamed of.

I have always found that when a door closes, often the door that opens has a ‘good gift’ behind it.

I am growing to trust in the providential nature of God more.

My little ship is growing, and I have a wider sail

Small boats have but narrow sails. John Flavell

Quotes to consider

Providence is like a curious piece of tapestry made of a thousand shreds, which, single, appear useless, but put together, they represent a beautiful history to the eye. John Flavel, Keeping the Heart
The Providence of God is like Hebrew words – it can be read only backwards. John Flavel
If we were to understand how dear we are to God, our relation to Him, our value in His eyes, and how He protects us by His faithful promises and gracious presence, we would not tremble at every appearance of danger.” John Flavel, Triumphing Over Sinful Fear
One word of God can do more than ten thousand words of men to relieve a distressed soul. John Flavel, The Mystery of Providence

Questions to answer

What doors have closed for you?
We can be so impatient for a new door to open. What helps in the interim time?
Can we ‘throw our toys out of the cot at God’? Can we lose our cool? Is God full of grace to our humanness?

Formation exercise

Journal about some ‘closed doors’ and ‘open doors’. Write about the lament of a door closing and the patience of waiting for a new door to open. Have you ever experienced a new door opening with a surprisingly ‘good gift’ behind it?