Better to Live in the Corner of a Roof

Contention and stress can become too much. Some times it’s better to live in the corner of a roof and the simplicity of nothing than the complexity of strife.

I don’t think I will ever get the image out of my memory. She was a battered woman. Maybe, in some ways, she still is.

Her husband had not laid a hand on her, but his words and non-verbals had battered her to a pulp.

She needed a space. Some where to recover from the trauma.

Then there was the man I wrote about in She Crossed a Line where a woman publicly humiliated him. Yelling, screaming, and belittling. Her tongue was weapon of war.

Both these people, I think, would have thought it better to live in the corner of a roof than with their assailant.

Better to live in the corner of a roof

There is a verse in the bible that talks about living on a rooftop.

Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a contentious wife. Proverbs 21:9

I want to be very clear here.

I will not bag women in this post.

This particular passage has been used so many times as a hammer on women.

It’s horrific how scripture can be used as a weapon.

This passage could easily be read as:

Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a contentious husband, child, employer, neighbour, parent.

This passage is about boundaries, simplicity, self-care, options, and making tough choices.

So let’s dig a little into context.

Corner of a roof

Here is what Bible Hub has to say.

This phrase suggests a situation of extreme discomfort and isolation.

In ancient Israelite architecture, roofs were flat and often used as additional living space.

The “corner of the roof” implies a small, exposed area, vulnerable to the elements.

This imagery highlights the severity of the situation being described.

The Bible often uses the roof as a place of solitude or prayer, as seen in Acts 10:9, where Peter goes to the rooftop to pray.

About noon the next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. Acts 10:9

The emphasis here is on the preference for solitude over conflict, suggesting that peace of mind is more valuable than physical comfort. Bible Hub

Than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

The “quarrelsome wife” is a recurring theme in Proverbs, symbolizing discord and strife within the household.

Proverbs 19:13 and 27:15 also mention the contentious wife, indicating the disruptive nature of constant conflict.

A stupid child is ruin to a father,
and a wife’s quarrelling is a continual dripping of rain. Proverbs 19:13

A continual dripping on a rainy day
and a contentious wife are alike; Proverbs 27:15

In the cultural context of ancient Israel, the household was the center of life and community.

A harmonious home was seen as a blessing, while a contentious one was a source of distress.

The verse underscores the importance of a peaceful home environment, which is echoed in the New Testament’s emphasis on love and mutual respect within marriage, as seen in Ephesians 5:22-33.

The comparison suggests that spiritual and emotional well-being should take precedence over material or social considerations. Bible Hub

Finding a corner of rooftop

It’s simplicity over complexity

It’s a simple meal with good friends rather than a banquet of abundance with strife.

It’s a quiet, simple, minimalistic life rather than a glutenous demand for more.

It’s saying ‘No’ to the abusers and walking away.

It’s having a secret place, only known to a special few, where you can retreat to and can recover from the war.

It’s a city of refuge. Deuteronomy 19

It’s a cave in the desert. 1 Kings 19:9-18

It’s doing your very best, if it is possible, to live peaceably with all, but knowing you need your own Psalm 23.

It’s having a few good friends to share your rooftop villa with.

Corner rooftop

Corner rooftop

I’m tired of the contention
Tired of all the stress
Tired of living in your harshness
Life was never meant for this

So I’m slipping out the door
Up the stairs I will go
Up there on the roof
Corner shade to know

I see things so much clearer
Away from the contention down below
I want to be much closer
More of you to know

Is this detachment?
Is this leaving them to their load?
Perhaps they need this abandonment
To face their world alone

I have a little corner
I make it just the way I like
This is a place of freedom
Others can take a hike

I live a simple life
Having really not much more
Than the simple pleasures of a simple life
Nothing for me to hoard

You can have your over indulgent banquets
Pizza and ice cream is for me
Find me on the beach
Not in a great banquet hall

You can come up to my rooftop
But please leave your strife below
This is my corner home
You may like to make one of your own

Barry Pearman

Questions?

Comments?

Email me 🙂📨 barry@turningthepage.co.nz

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Quotes to consider

Non quam late, sed quam laete habites, refert. – It’s not how widely, but how happily you live, that matters.
If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:18
A simple lifestyle is quite simply an act of solidarity with the way most people have lived since the beginnings of humanity. Richard Rohr
When you agree to live simply, people cease to be possessions and objects for your consumption or use. Richard Rohr
Simplicity means a return to the posture of dependence. Like children we live in a spirit of trust. What we have we receive as a gift. Richard Foster
Prayer frees us from anxiety because it teaches us trust. And the result is peace. Prayer and simplicity àre intertwined. Richard Foster
Francis taught us, therefore, that the antidote to confusion and paralysis is always a return to simplicity, to what is actually right in front of us, to the nakedly obvious. Richard Rohr
If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. George Orwell
Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. Lao Tzu

Questions to answer

How do you handle contention?
Have you seen a battered wife, husband, child? Would you want them to stay in this relationship?
Do you have a ‘corner rooftop’ retreat place? What would it look like if you did?

Formation exercise

Consider the role of refuge places in our society. In New Zealand we have an organisation called Woman’s Refuge. Who else in your community need a refuge. A place to hide, rebuild and recover?