boundaries Archives

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Feeling overwhelmed can feel like you’re caught in a flood, but you are not alone. Reach out. I shut down. What was coming at me was too much. The brain was emotionally overloaded. I think I am a very sensitive person. Nothing wrong with that. My sensitivity helps me […]

Anxiety & Stress

You can only do so much. Spoon Theory

Life can drain you. You can only do so much. The spoon theory is a wonderful metaphor to help us understand our limits. I wondered why I was so tired. I hadn’t done much I thought during the day, but upon reflection I realised I had given a lot of […]

Trauma & Recovery

Better to Live in the Corner of a Roof

Contention and stress can become too much. Some times it’s better to live in the corner of a roof and the simplicity of nothing than the complexity of strife. I don’t think I will ever get the image out of my memory. She was a battered woman. Maybe, in some […]

Relationships & Connection

Can you Live with a Narcissist? Six Suggestions

Can you live with a narcissist? Yes, but it might just kill you. Or it might just starve you from savouring life to the fullest. One of the most interesting quotes I have come across about stress is this one from French journalist Jean-Louis Servan-Schreiber What I fear most about stress is […]

Faith & Mental Health

How to Pray for a Narcissist: 10 Ways

I want to pray, but don’t know how. How to Pray for a Narcissist. It begins with honesty. It prays for light. Can a narcissist change? That’s a question many people ask. But it’s much like that old joke about psychologists changing a lightbulb. How many psychologists does it […]

Relationships & Connection

Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys

The first time I heard the Polish proverb “Not my circus, not my monkeys” I felt quite shocked, but digging deeper, I understood what they were saying. I heard it said by a husband about his wife. It felt callous. It felt cold and I still think it was. That […]

Relationships & Connection

I’m Building a Wall

They had got so used to the intrusiveness of others that they didn’t even care anymore, but slowly a line in the sand appeared, then a fence and then they built a wall. I enjoy being kind. I am generous, probably to my own detriment, but sometimes I feel […]

Relationships & Connection

She Crossed a Line

She crossed a line with her words, a line that was getting thinner with every wag of the tongue, but what could be done to help them both? It was the evening of the very first day of the year (2025). A beautiful summer’s day here in New Zealand. […]

Relationships & Connection

Even If It Does Me Harm

We give and give, even if it does us harm, but what if we learned the limits and established a line? People have said to me in the past ‘You need to set better boundaries’ I look and them and think. ‘Thanks for the encouragement. You really haven’t listened […]

Relationships & Connection

Better Boundaries?

‘You need better boundaries’. How many have said this to you? How about a better knowing of yourself first? Often when you go to see a counsellor for the first time, they hand you a sheet of paper with a list of expectations and boundaries. Very few ask the counselee […]