Pregnant and in a Wine press. How God meets us when we are Anxious

When God says ‘don’t be anxious’ it’s not a command it’s an invitation to grow closer in trust. We see a small corner of the picture, but God sees the whole.

I was living in the sense of dread. I didn’t know what the next day would bring, and my heart was pounding. Then to add to it, a friend said ‘Don’t worry, God said not to worry and not to be anxious, so stop it.’

I wish they had just said ‘It’s ok, we will get through this together.’

One of the most hideous aspects of life outside of the garden (Garden of Eden) is the sense of being alone. That something separates us from the communal security of God.

Underneath a veneer of confidence, there is a voice that says ‘You’re on your own now sucker.’

The Bible talks a lot about anxiety and worry. Some of it seems so directive and black and white. Like a scolding impatient parent, yet when we look at examples of in the Bible, we often find a pastoral invitation to closeness.

Anxious in the winepress

Whenever I feel the gnarly claws of anxiety start to creep around me, I remember a man called Gideon.

¹¹Now the angel of the Lord came and sat under the oak at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, as his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the wine press, to hide it from the Midianites.

¹²The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, you mighty warrior.” ¹³Gideon answered him, “But sir, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our ancestors recounted to us, saying, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the Lord has cast us off, and given us into the hand of Midian.” ¹⁴Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and deliver Israel from the hand of Midian; I hereby commission you.” ¹⁵He responded, “But sir, how can I deliver Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” ¹⁶The Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike down the Midianites, every one of them.” Judges 6: 12-16

Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress because he was afraid. He didn’t want to be caught by the ruling Midianites.

But God comes via an angel with the big picture. The angel shares something much greater about Gideon than he sees himself. He sees Gideon as a mighty warrior.

Gideon argues with the angel, has a debate, he doubts that God is at all interested in the struggle.

This is where God complete steps in and takes over the debate from the angel.

‘The Lord is with you, you mighty warrior … Go in this strength that is yours … I will be with you.’

The battle of the self

In all of us, there is a battle going on between self-reliance and God-reliance.

Between trusting one’s own strength, wisdom, and control and being reliant on God.

Is God really in control …

When my land has been invaded?
When there is no fruit on the vines?
When my health is being threatened?
When my marriage is crumbling before my eyes?
When I face unknown test results?
When my boss calls me into his office?
When my lifeboat is being tossed in wild storms, and Jesus is having a nap?

There is a bigger story going on, and we only have a few syllables. The story arch covers eternity, and we have only a small narrative.

Pregnant and afraid

The second story that Spirit (Holy) seems to always takes me to is when teenager Mary is told by an angel that she is going to be pregnant with God.

And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” ²⁹But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. ³⁰The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. ³¹And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. ³²He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. ³³He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” ³⁴Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” Luke 1:28-34

Mary has followed all the rules but is now going to be thrown by God into a hotbed of controversy. She could be stoned to death for being pregnant outside of marriage.

God knows the fear and reassures her of their presence. ‘I am with you.’

There is a bigger story going on and were invited to be part of it.

Creating your ‘With you’ story

I worry, and I fear.

I get anxious when there is nothing to be anxious about and when I do I am sort of arguing with God, having a debate just like both Gideon and Mary did.

They wanted more than just a brief prescription written by some passing angel. You have anxiety, take these verses twice a day. Next patient please.’

They wanted the ‘I am with you’ story.

The story is of presence.

When did your story begin and when will it end?

You may well think of your year of birth as your beginning but you wrong. God has always known you and will always know you.

The story is where you are right now and God’s super glued love for you. The story may not be on flower-strewn pathways much of the time. Instead its probably going to be like squeezing through narrow paths of tight boulders and dark shadows.

When I am afraid, when I am trembling, when I don’t know the way ahead I know God is with me. I have a ‘with me God.’

Pregnant and in the winepress

I place myself visually as a worried Gideon hiding in a winepress. I feel the fear, and I envision the angel and then God themselves consoling me.

I become a pregnant teenager and all the fear washing over me. Whispers and songs of ‘I am with you’ dance me through my day.

I am one with Gideon, Mary, Abraham, Esther and many many others. They walk hand in hand beside me, and I know their peace.

I am not alone, and so I am not afraid.

Quotes to consider

When we’re full of fear, the enemy is everywhere. Richard Rohr
If fear is the great enemy of intimacy, love is its true friend. Henri Nouwen
Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. Corrie ten Boom