Wallowing in the Past: How to Stop and Let God Carry It

There is a time for everything, but wallowing in your past will create an endless rut of misery. Isn’t it time to allow God, who knows all, to take the unknowns and allow you to walk in today?

Quick answer: Wallowing is rolling around in the pain of the past, replaying old hurts in search of answers, justification or relief. It feels comforting, but like rumination it keeps you stuck in a rut. Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us there is a time to grieve and a time to let go. Letting go becomes possible when we trust that God knows the whole story and is sufficient to carry what we cannot resolve.

In this post

• What is wallowing?
• To wallow is to swallow a lie
• There is a season for everything
• How do you stop wallowing in the past?
• Questions to answer

I always like a good wallow, don’t you?

It’s like a warm, comfortable blanket that wraps itself snugly around your soul. Ah, so reassuring to have a good wallow.

You’ve been there so many times it feels like home.

Wallowing seems to come easily too. One moment everything is ok and then, without realising, you are stuck in that gluggy mire of yesteryear.

What Is Wallowing?

Pigs wallow in mud. They roll themselves around in it and enjoy the cooling and itchy sensation of wet mud.

Similarly, we can roll ourselves around in the pain of the past.

We keep going back looking for answers, justifications, and relief.

We allow the hurts of the past to cling to us like a mud pack covering over the beautiful, purposeful creation we were designed to be.

To Wallow Is to Swallow a Lie

When we wallow, we swallow a lie that we can find nutritional content in the mud of the past.

We ruminate over the past. Chewing it over and over, making us sicker and sicker with every chew.

We convince ourselves about certain things even though others may have a different viewpoint.

Around and around we go, stirring up the mud until it becomes quicksand sucking us in and down.

The problem is that the more we tell ourselves certain things, the more we believe that they are true, whether they are or not. We believe our own press despite the evidence being otherwise.

There Is a Season for Everything

The writer of the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible says this.

There is a time for grieving, mourning, introspection, and to wallow (briefly).

But there is also a time to let go of what can’t be fully resolved. A time to forgive yourself and others. A time to mend and to make peace with the past.

There has got to be something we can do about the pity party we keep throwing for ourselves.

How Do You Stop Wallowing in the Past?

I have one simple yet profound question.

Is God Sufficient to Handle What You Are Wallowing About?

We want to be in control.

We want to be Sherlock Holmes solving the case of the pain of the past.

We want to find a culprit, either ourselves or someone else. We become judge, jury, and executioner to our past.

Yet no human judge, jury or executioner knows ALL the evidence. Only God knows the whole complete story about what we are wallowing about.

If we knew what God knows, we may well have a completely different viewpoint.

We may well be able to live in grace towards ourselves and others.

Forgiveness flows when the heart knows that God understands all and is sufficient to carry all.

There is a time for everything, but wallowing in your past will create an endless rut of misery. Isn’t it time to allow God, who knows all, to take the unknowns and allow you to walk in today?

Quotes to Consider

• The words we tell ourselves are more important than we realise. If you tell yourself something enough times and in the right circumstances, you will believe those words whether true or not. — William Backus and Marie Chapian
• If you are going to wallow in anything, His love for you will feel better than self-pity, rejection or anger. — David Riddell
• Stuck in the past? Historic reality is not today’s reality, so we need to re-interpret the people we have judged from past times. — David Riddell
• It is not events either past or present which make us feel the way we feel, but our interpretation of those events. — William Backus and Marie Chapian
• Rack the muck this way.
  Rack the muck that way.
  It will still be muck.
  In the time you are brooding,
  you could be on your way,
  stringing pearls for the delight of heaven. — Hasidic teaching

Questions to Answer

1. How much does a desire for safety and control influence your ability to let go of the past?
2. How do you stop wallowing in the past?
3. There is a time or season for everything. How do you determine when it is time to stop wallowing?

Further Reading

• How to Break Free From Self-Pity and the Victim Mentality — Break free from the self-pity cycle. Learn how to drop the victim mentality, embrace spiritual formation, and find emotional sobriety.
• 7 Steps to Change and Regroove Your Thinking Patterns — Break negative thought ruts with the Groove Board method: 7 steps to rewire your brain for good.
• To Forgive Is to Remember… Differently — Your brain is wired with a bias, but you can learn to “remember differently.” Discover how Jesus stands on your neural pathways to offer freedom.
• The Bias to Retain Sin. Unforgiveness — Is your heart acting like a retaining wall? Discover the vast difference between “retaining” pain and the energy-releasing power of forgiveness.
• Unburdened From What Has Been — Feeling crushed by life’s heavy loads? Discover the power of absolution and how the “unburdening” of your soul creates a new life in Christ.
• Glory Days: Why the Old Life Keeps Calling You Back — Tempted to go back to the old life? Learn why we romanticise the glory days and how to stay on the path.

Barry Pearman: Since 1995, Barry has worked as a mental health support worker, community chaplain, and pastor, and has walked through depression himself. His training includes SoulCare Foundations under Dr Larry Crabb, a Bachelor of Applied Theology, spiritual direction training, and certificates in CBT interventions, pastoral therapy, and integrated mental health care. Turning the Page offers a grace-filled path to mental wholeness through faith and hope.

Image cc: Duncan Hill