I'm Anxious God

Worries, fears, and anxieties can all bring us to a place where we pray ‘I’m anxious God’ but there is hope.

I went to see my Doctor the other day for my routine checkup.

‘Anxiety’? he questioned.

I replied ‘No, everything is fine there’

But a seed had been sown, and into a brain like mine, some seeds germinate.

So I started to thinking about anxiety and how much of a home it has set up in my thinking.

Depression has seemed to be my familiar resting place. But then I pondered over my daily life and how much worry, even small worries, have created thinking streams, then rivers, and, if don’t address them, a Grand Canyon of brain neuron wiring.

The brain takes its shape from what the mind rests upon. Rick Hanson.

Am I an anxious person?

I don’t think so, especially.

But it is still a feature of my human clay fragility.

I think we can all experience anxiety, worry, fear, and moments of panic.

I know at times I have had some incredibly anxious moments. Ghost echoes still haunt me at times.

So, how’s your anxiety?

It’s a little question of examen.

‘I’m Anxious God’

There are many stories in the Bible of people that experience fear and worry.

A prophet, Elijah, stands up against Ahab, an evil King. His wife Jezebel sends a message to Elijah:

Ahab reported to Jezebel everything that Elijah had done, including the massacre of the prophets.

Jezebel immediately sent a messenger to Elijah with her threat:

“The gods will get you for this and I’ll get even with you!
By this time tomorrow you’ll be as dead as any one of those prophets.”

When Elijah saw how things were, he ran for dear life to Beersheba. 1 Kings 19:1-3

It’s the fear in a young, beautiful queen called Esther that prompts her to ask for prayer.

Esther sent back her answer to Mordecai:

“Go and get all the Jews living in Susa together.
Fast for me.
Don’t eat or drink for three days, either day or night.
I and my maids will fast with you.
If you will do this, I’ll go to the king, even though it’s forbidden.
If I die, I die.” Esther 4:15-16

‘I’m anxious God’ is an honest reflection of the heart.

It’s not a failure.

It’s not a flaw.

This is where God meets us.

God meets you where you really are
– not where you think you should be. Larry Crabb

God doesn’t always meet us with the magic wand of quick relief.

But God always meets us with this response.

I am with you.

The most common one-liner in the Bible is, “Do not be afraid.”
Someone counted, and it occurs 365 times. Richard Rohr

“Do not be afraid” is not a command, something else to fail at, it is more an invitation to know a synergy connection with God. A God who knows humanly what anxiety and fear are like.

Synergy – an interaction or cooperation giving rise to a whole that is greater than the simple sum of its parts

Please, no P.A.T. answers

What’s a pat answer?

A pat answer or remark is one that has been previously prepared, so that it is said quickly and without any real thought.

‘You’ll be alright’
‘God loves you’
‘God is going to bring something good out of this.’
(insert favourite glib response here)

P.A.T.

Patterned – this answer has been said over and over again. You’ve heard it before.
Avoids going deep. Let’s not go deep. Don’t ask questions that you might not have an answer for. Let’s not put ourselves at risk of mystery.
Thoughtless to the real need. There is no thought to the real need of what is happening in the soul. Let’s move on as quick as can.

Recognised fear

I came across this quote from Larry Crabb.

Real encouragement occurs when words are spoken from a heart of love to another’s recognized fear. Larry Crabb

What’s a recognised fear?

I think it’s a fear that has been seen fully.

No P.A.T. responses.

Instead, gently curious questions have been asked.

An exploration has taken place into the nature of the fear.

‘It’s this, but actually it’s even more than that. It’s this other thing that goes deeper. That’s where we need to pray. That’s where words from ‘a heart of love’ need to be spoken.’

Am I anxious?

Yes.

What will I do?

I will pray, discern, talk with some soul friends who will hopefully speak words from a heart of love.

Poem

Hold me steady

I have a problem
About what might happen
What if this results in that
I feel the heart beat rapping

Or it’s a little worry
That I linger on too long
Soon a little story
Becomes a lifetime song

They say ‘Don’t worry dear’
‘Everything will be alright’
But are they there?
When clock ticks midnight

I feel alone
I want a friend with me
Someone to recognise
The worry and the plea

Meet me with love
Hold me through the storm
Perhaps this is part of the process
Of learning to be reborn

I cast my worries
Both large and small
Christ’ shoulders are so broad
Taking yoke before I fall

Spirit comes as counsellor
What to hold onto
What to let go

I bring my focus back to the now
It still wants to slip away
But by Christ I am in charge
Hold me steady in the fray

Questions?
Comments?
Email me 🙂📨
barry@turningthepage.co.nz

Give a little gift to keep the pages turning

Quotes to consider

The way to move beyond reluctance is not to eliminate fear but to listen to it. Mandy Hughes
There are moments in battles in which the soul hardens the man until the soldier is changed into a statue, and when all this flesh turns into granite. Victor Hugo Les Misérables
The past describes what happened. It does not decide what will happen. Rob Bell
Negative perceptions from your past can be a prime source of fear and shame in the present. Patricia Love Steven Stosny
Real encouragement occurs when words are spoken from a heart of love to another’s recognized fear. Larry Crabb

Questions to answer

How’s your anxiety? (Be real)
What are some P.A.T. answers you have been given?
What would it be like to recieve words spoken from a heart of love into your fear?

Formation exercise

Examine the heart. ‘God meets you where you really are – not where you think you should be. Larry Crabb’ Where do you think you should be? Where are you really? Where does God meet you?