Four types of power play a part in our lives, but the power that will transform you enters your ditch and is with you.
I’ve seen it all.
Through the eyes of my half-dead body, I watch them come, look, and then go.
Will no one stop to do what I cannot do for myself? I am alone, and no one wants to engage, connect, look upon my swollen face, and pierce my life with hope.
It’s a gift of power I need.
I need someone to cross the line and do what I cannot do for myself.
The disempowerment of abuse
Abuse, in whatever form it comes, has a nasty way of taking the life out of you.
You are left feeling less than others. You’re small, weak, and insignificant. You get stripped of something of the gloriousness that you once were.
Abuse that harms doesn’t have to fit into the major categories of sexual abuse or violence. It could be a little well-aimed slight by a child in the schoolyard. A put down by a bully. A lack of basic essentials such as affirming touch and encouragement.
No one escapes the blows and cuts from living in a broken world. Unfortunately, many of our wounds can remain untreated or undertreated for our lifetime.
Many people come to this website because they pray into an internet search engine the words ‘God, I want to die.’. But I wonder what it would be like to pray, ‘God, I want to live fully.’
I don’t want to live a half-dead life. I want a life where I am fully alive, where wounds have been changed into scars. Abuse cuts and traumas have become beauty marks and toned muscle.
The harm now brings something of God’s life to others, and as we connect, we ‘mouth to mouth’ resuscitate those who robbers and thieves have violated.
What would it be like to be fully alive?
Overpowered
Jesus tells a story about power.
“A man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing and wounded him and departed, leaving him half dead.
By chance a priest came down that way. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
So likewise a Levite, when he came to that place, looked at him and passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion on him, and went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine. Then he set him on his own donkey and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
The next day when he departed, he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said to him, ‘Take care of him. I will repay you whatever else you spend when I return.’ Luke 10:30-35
(denarius, a coin worth about a day’s wage.)
In Jesus’ story, we find a man experiencing the effect of Power over. He had been assaulted, robbed, and left half dead. Thieves, robbers, bullies, and tyrants had stolen something of his glorious humanity. Perhaps a fellow human was the only way to restore something of power within.
If you were to look through the eyes of the dying man, what would you see?
What expressions of power would your heart engage with?
Perhaps it comes down to three questions.
- Are you with me in my need?
- Are you against me in my need?
- Are you ambivalent about my need?
Power with, power against, power withheld.
Four types of power
What does this dying man see?
- Power withheld
The eyes see the avoiders. Those who create a void. They have the power to do something, but they hold back.Maybe it was fear or a sense of inadequacy. Perhaps they were too busy, or they were holding on to some sense of self-importance.
Let’s not make excuses for those who withhold good. Instead, we can all do for one what we wish we could do for everyone. - Power over
He had already seen the violence of ‘power over’ relationships, but now another human was moving towards him.
But this was a different expression of ‘power over.’ This was someone doing for him what he could not do himself.
People often use this parable as a justification for rescuing people. Yes, this was a rescue mission because he could not do what was needed for himself.
One of the most challenging and saddest moments of my life was when I worked at the coal face of people with mental illness, and I would encounter people so unwell with their illness that they could not make rational decisions. Illness had thrown them into a ditch.
There was typically a psychosis involved. They were lost in a ditch of hearing, seeing, and feeling things that no one else was experiencing. Often they were a danger to themselves and others.
I would have to use ‘Power Over’ and call others who had formal power, by law, to take this person into care. So it was ‘power over,’ but not to take something away from them; more so, it was to give them something back.
The Samaritan did what the man could not do for himself. - Power with
I like this form of power the best. It’s the idea that I will do what I can do, you will do what you can do, and together we will make a difference.
The Samaritan went to be with the half-dead man. He crossed the lines. He poured out oil and wine to clean and disinfect. Bandages were bound around the wounds. I wonder if these strips of cloth came from his clothes being ripped apart.
This was ‘withness’ in deepest connection. - Power given
The ‘power with’ transfers into enabling others to give power to the recovery process. The Samaritan knows that others can help in ways he can’t. He uses his own money, two days’ wages, and the promise of more to ensure empowerment continues. A healing nest is needed.
A power within begins to grow.
Something happens in this man. The power within him begins to grow. Strength returns to his body and also to his soul.
Perhaps because he has experienced both the worst of power and the best, he now has a deeper awareness of humanity.
It is lovely to see someone grow in their internal power. They begin to see the lines of their unique shape. They see those who have used ‘power over’ badly. They see those who have ‘withheld power’ and leave them alone.
But then they begin to see those with them and want to continue to be with them. As a result, inner beauty and strength grow.
Something both glorious and good begins to grow within the soul. Its beauty and strength begins to transform the dangerous roads we travel on. Its love is unstoppable and dangerous, and it must have release.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
These four types of power play a part in all our lives. The power that will transform you, will enter your ditch and be with you.
It’s your eyes I want to see
Looking into mine
Got you live on my mind
All the time. Bruce Cockburn
Quotes to consider
- Therapists accomplish good results because they are lovers, in the personal sense of that word, and not experts. Only genuine, unpurchaseable love does what needs to be done in the human soul. Larry Crabb. The Safest Place on Earth.
- Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime
- Christ taught us that the supernatural love of our neighbor is the exchange of compassion and gratitude which happens in a flash between two beings, one possessing and the other deprived of human personality. One of the two is only a little piece of flesh, naked, inert, and bleeding beside a ditch; he is nameless; no one knows anything about him. Those who pass by this thing scarcely notice it, and a few minutes afterward do not even know they saw it. Only one stops and turns his attention towards it. The actions that follow are just the automatic effect of this moment of attention. Simone Weil Simone Weil. Waiting for God
- Giving and receiving unconditional love is the most effective and powerful way to personal wholeness and happiness. John Bradshaw
- We live in the shelter of each other. Celtic saying
- I don’t see how we can show anybody we love them if we do not sacrifice for them. Richard Rohr -Job and the Mystery of Suffering
- Sacrifice of oneself for the other is simply love in its later stages. It’s a very old-fashioned word. Richard Rohr -Job and the Mystery of Suffering
Questions to answer
- Which of the four types of power grabbed your attention?
- How can we cultivate more ‘power with’ in our relationships?
- Lines get crossed all the time. What type of power helps restore the soul?
- We are all traveling from a Jerusalem to a Jericho. What has happened on your pilgrimage?
Further reading
Barry Pearman
Photo by Derick Daily on Unsplash
