The ABT Framework for Listening Well

We all have a story, and it’s full of ‘and’s, but this is a story to learn from. So, therefore, we notice the ABT framework in ourselves and others.

There is a pattern to our lives; once you see it, you will see it everywhere. It’s in every great story, including your own.

I came across it a few years ago while listening to a podcast about why Donald Trump won his first presidential election. He told a better story. An ABT story. Make America Great.

And, But, Therefore.

Every great story has an ABT.

From a Fairytale to a Thriller.

Cinderella had no dress AND shoes AND coach to go to the ball, BUT her Fairy Godmother waves a magic wand and provides for her. THEREFORE, she has the shoes, the dress, and the coach.

Jason Bourne has a bomb ticking AND has only 30 seconds before it explodes and kills thousands of people, BUT because he has had years of training, he knows what to do. So, THEREFORE, he calls his grandmother for advice.

You will be able to see this sequence in your own life story.

In the simple. ‘I am hungry, but I have food in the pantry; therefore, I will go and have something to eat.’

In the complex stories such as ‘I fell in love, and things were going ok, but then I found out she was a chronic gambler. Therefore I am going to get some help and try and sort this mess out.

Can you see ABT in your life?

God’s ABT.

The ABT is sprinkled all through the Bible. The larger story, the meta-story of God, could be seen as an ABT.

A parable of Jesus shows us this pattern.

A man was traveling down a road and was beaten by some robbers and was left naked and dying in a ditch, BUT some religious folks came down the road and chose to ignore him. Therefore, he remained dying in the ditch.

Another man, a samaritan, someone everyone despised, was also traveling down the same road, and he saw the man in the ditch, but he was moved with compassion. Therefore, he got into the ditch and helped the man. Luke 10:25-37

The writer of Lamentations shows us the ABT of change.

We live in an ABT world.

ABT for self-reflective listening

1. What is your current ‘AND.’
   What would they say if you could write a few sentences about your current situation? How many ‘and’s’ would it have?
2. What’s the ‘BUT.’
   Like the writer of the lament, there was a ‘But’ that shifted them out of the sentence stream of ‘and’s.’
   What would the ‘but’ be that is being offered for you to consider?
   The But is a pivot point that lifts you out of the despair of all those ‘and’s.’
3. The hope of a THEREFORE 
   Now it’s a choice to take action and venture off from the place of ‘and’s.’
   I try something new. It doesn’t have to be a huge shift. It can be very small. It’s a step into making the change from the ruts of the ‘And’s.’

ABT Framework for listening

The ABT is a great tool for listening to others. For the most part, many of the conversations we listen to are full of ‘and’s.

This happened, and then this happened as well as this and that.

I was recently listening to a young man talk about a situation. There were lots of ‘and’s’ until I asked him what he had learned from the situation. It caused him to step out of the stream of ‘and’s’ and reflect on the storyline.

There was a ‘But’ invitation to learn and grow.

He reflected on the story and recognized some learning opportunities.

He noticed some ‘therefore’ opportunities so that if he was ever in the ‘and’s,’ he could step out with a ‘but’ and choose a new path with a ‘therefore.’

 

The ABT Framework words

There are other words that you can use instead of And, But, and Therefore

• And – also, equally, identically, uniquely,  like, moreover, as well, as furthermore, likewise, similarly
• But – despite, however, yet conversely, rather, whereas, although, otherwise, instead, albeit
• Therefore – so, thus, consequently, hence,  thereupon, accordingly, as a result, henceforth for this reason,  in that case.
  Randy Olson. Houston, We Have a Narrative

 

Quotes to consider

• Situation (we have this AND this AND this . . .), complication (BUT a problem has arisen with this), resolution (THEREFORE we solved it by doing this). Randy Olson.
•  Simplicity is the essence of effective communication. Randy Olson.
• There are two significant ways communication goes bad. The first is boredom. The second is confusion. Randy Olson.
• A good journey begins with knowing where we are and being willing to go somewhere else. Richard Rohr

Questions to answer

1. Have you noticed the ABT framework in your life?
2. When watching a movie or TV show, look for the ABT Framework. How does it keep you hooked on the story?
3. When listening to a friend tell a story, see if you can identify the ABT Framework. Is this person stuck in the weeds of the ‘And’s’? How could you offer a ‘But’?

 

Further reading

Too much Traffic in your Mind? Try Journaling

Recording: A Spiritual Habit for Better Mental Health

You’re Not a Problem. It’s Not Who You Are

Barry Pearman

Photo by Jay Ee on Unsplash