What Do You Fear the Most?

Fear can be like a shadow creeping up and over you, but what do you fear the most? Understanding what you fear the most can bring assurance.

It was a simple wire bridge on a confidence course. Not very high, the three-wire bridge was a challenge for some and not for others. When I was a pastor to a group of people with serious mental illnesses, we would go away for weekends to a campsite with a confidence course.

People would climb to the top of the 2-meter-high platform. Then they would look down the wires to the other side about 15 meters away.

Taking the first step onto the single wire was hard. Afterward, you would stretch your hands to the wire on the left and the right and then creep across.

The trick was to keep an eye on where you were going and not necessarily where your feet were landing.

Others would be speaking encouragements, and some would hold the wire still for you, but this was the walker facing the fear of what?

Falling?
Failure?
Injury?
Humiliation?

It was the brain saying that this was dangerous. That it was different from normal walking.

It was the brain doing what it was supposed to do. Protect you.

But what if you did this three-wire bridge every day? That it was part of your daily commute?

You would eventually get very confident because the brain had been trained to accept living outside the norm.

When the worst thing you could imagine happens, and you survive and possibly even thrive, a new understanding of security grows in you.

If you fear drowning, then learning to swim helps calms you.

Perhaps it’s cancer, but as you go through the dark valley, you come to new places to experience God’s closeness.

Maybe you have feared a relationship breakdown, but going through it, you learn new trust and experience God meeting you in new ways.

You realize how much fear has controlled your life

You probably don’t know what you fear the most. It’s buried away in subconscious land and will only surface when your lifeboat begins to rock, and water comes in over the side.

What do you fear the most?

I know many people who have been through some incredibly dark places.

It might have been the loss of health, finances, home, marriage breakdown, or the death of a child. Finally, all the securities and attachments are stripped away, and you’re left with possibly only the breath of the now.

Biblical character Job was one like that. Loss of possessions, family, and health were all part of his dark valley experience.

At the hulled-out base of his lament prayer, he says these words.

Truly the thing that I fear comes upon me,
and what I dread befalls me. Job 3:25

We could easily attribute his fear to his loss of everything he found security or confidence in – possessions, family, and health.

But I think Job was experiencing an even deeper fear.

Remember that fear is a feeling, it’s an emotion, and it’s not a fact. Feelings are there to alert us to something of danger. To warn us and to keep us safe.

F.E.A.R., as they say, is False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s that appearance that sends chills down our bones and keeps us rooted in places of safety.

I think Job was looking at a greater appearance, one that very few face, but it’s a fear that is truly at the base of all fears. It is the turning of God’s face away from us. False Evidence Appearing Real.

We conclude from all the facts – loss of possessions, family, and health – that the next relationship will abandon and detach from us.

The loss of attachment to perfect love.

Never seeing God’s face

Larry Crabb shares a .parable told by Saint Augustine

Suppose, Augustine said, God himself came to you and invited you to draw up your ultimate wish list, with things on it we’d all agree are OK for Jesus followers to enjoy: a good meal when you’re hungry, great family life, a satisfying sense of purpose and meaning, the excitement of romance and adventure, robust health, a job that showcases your unique talents and earns you respect and lots of money, a season pass to the theater or to the ski slopes, a good night’s sleep every night on your dial-a-number mattress, and, to top it off nicely, a good experience in church Sunday mornings where you gratefully worship the generous God who gave it all to you.

Suppose also that while you’re looking over your list and deciding it’s pretty complete—you might throw in a new car, maybe a boat, and a vacation home—God speaks again.

This time he says, “I will give you everything on your list, and I will grant you a long life to enjoy it all.

But there is a condition, only one: If you accept this offer, you will never see my face!“

Augustine explained his parable this way:

“The chill that you feel when you think of never seeing God’s face is your love for God.” Larry Crabb – Soul Talk

I think Job was in the grip of that chill. He had all that life could offer him. His life was complete as much as his wish list could offer.

But now he was in the grip of a winter chill to the soul. The fear of not having a relationship with God that was similar to being face-to-face with God.

Would that be the very next thing that is stripped away?

It was coming upon him but hadn’t happened. It was the next challenge, the most difficult.

Worshipping the God of certainty

We like to be in control. We worship the God of certainty. Tributes, offerings, and gifts of obedience and compliance are made to this God.

If I do this, then ‘God of certainty’, you are expected to behave in these ways. It’s a contract we make to help us feel safe and secure.

God is boxed into our limitations.

I am reminded of C.S. Lewis and the story of Narnia, where the children were asking about Aslan, someone they were yet to meet. They think Aslan is a human, like themselves. Mr. Beaver responds.

“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.”

“Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver …” Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

We want a God of certainty, but God comes and invites us to walk with a lion, dance on the water, step into the fire, leave our safe home experiences and venture into trust.

God didn’t leave Job.

In our dark nights, in our deepest depressions, we may feel that God has abandoned us. Its F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real.

After Job’s friends have dissected his life and passed judgment, God comes sweeping in, not with answers but with questions. Questions that bring Job to new places of mystery that only those that have been through the dark valleys can appreciate and know.

The loss of God is a fear.

We rest secure in Aslan’s voice.

Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid or terrified because of them [the cancers, traumas, relationship breakdowns], for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake [detach from] you. Deuteronomy 31:6

What do you fear the most?

It’s a simple question, but the answer is very revealing.

The answer may tell you where you want to be in control. Perhaps it’s that place where God wants you to trust their providence.

Quotes to consider

Where you focus is where you will go
Focus on the negatives/ challenges will always take me down
Focus on the positive/good things will always give me hope.
The subconscious can be reprogrammed through cognitive reassessments
A feeling of hopelessness, no matter how strong, is an echo and perception from the past and is not how things really are.
My feelings are merely reflecting what my heart believes. So what am I telling myself?
Feeling it doesn’t make it so
Believing all of my emotions is the shortest way into the loop of insanity. First the truth, then faith in the truth, then the feelings will come around. D. Riddell
It is not events either past or present which make us feel the way we feel, but our interpretation of those events. William Backus
The people who are going to be most controlled by their fears are the ones who don’t admit them and deal with them. Richard Rohr -Job and the Mystery of Suffering
People who have a large shadow world tend to be fearful: Aimless anxiety is one of the main ways the shadow shows itself. They often tend to be angry, too. They’re forever looking for a projection screen for their anger when, in fact, they’re really angry at themselves or at life in general. Richard Rohr -Job and the Mystery of Suffering
The past describes what happened. It does not decide what will happen. Rob Bell
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened. Michel de Montaigne
The moment God is figured out with nice neat lines and definitions, we are no longer dealing with God. Rob Bell
God is not nice, God is wild. Richard Rohr
When you stand before Me [God] in mystery, you will eventually rest within Me in trust. When you can’t figure Me out, you will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy of freedom and hope. Larry Crabb 66 Love letters – Job

Questions to answer

What happened in you when you read “The chill that you feel when you think of never seeing God’s face is your love for God.”?
What experiences of fear have you been through? What have they taught you?
How would someone worship, or give worth to, a God of Certainty?