You can only do so much. Spoon Theory

Life can drain you. You can only do so much. The spoon theory is a wonderful metaphor to help us understand our limits.

I wondered why I was so tired. I hadn’t done much I thought during the day, but upon reflection I realised I had given a lot of emotional energy into a situation.

It had drained my emotional energy banks.

You see, I can only do much.

That’s the same for you.

You can only do so much.

Spoon theory

I learned a new concept yesterday. It is called the Spoon theory.

Spoon theory is a metaphor describing the amount of physical or mental energy that a person has available for daily activities and tasks, and how it can become limited. Wikipedia

Imagine you start your day with 25 spoons. Each spoon is a unit of energy.

You have 25 spoons in your back pocket.

You meet with someone and out goes a spoon.

Then you do the grocery shopping. Five spoons slip away and it’s not even lunchtime.

You receive a call from your daughter who is sick and wants you to look after her children after school.

Even the phone takes a few spoons away.

After school care and you’ve only got a couple of spoons left.

Only do so much

The spoon theory is a metaphor that is helpful for people with who have a chronic illness. They often start their days off with limited quantities of energy.

They can only do so much.

But I also think of those who, for various reasons, just don’t have the energy capacity that others have. It might be the effects of depression and anxiety.

I know for me, at this moment in the middle of a wet dark winter, that S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) might be affecting my number of spoons.

The quality and quantity of sleep will also affect the spoons available.

I’d like to have an overflowing cup of energy that fills the saucer, but in reality, we limitations.

Using the spoon theory

1. Don’t compare your cutlery collection to others

That may sound kind of humorous, but in reality, comparison does not help.

There may be all sorts of reasons others might have more spoons in the cutlery drawer than you.

You are you. Comparisonitis kills progress.

2. Take personal responsibility for your spoon collection

Your spoons are your spoons.

Your body is your body.

Your habits are your habits.

Don’t blame others or be a P.L.O.M. (Poor Little Old Me)

3. Monitor your spoons

So where are your spoons going?

Who or what is taking the energy?

Throughout the day, notice your energy levels. Write in a journal what’s taking the spoons. Is something giving you a spoon?

4. Find practices to grow your spoon collection

I want to grow my spoon collection.

I want to build practices into my every day that replenish my soul. That it is revived.

One of these practices for me is to spend time in meditation on a small section of scripture.

I listen to a simple short reading of scripture. Meditate on it quietly and let the words roll around in my brain and feed my soul.

It’s called Lectio Divina. Here is the link to website I use.

Often I will write a poem out of what I hear.

Below is a poem based on a Lectio Divina of Psalm 19:7-11

Revive my soul

Revive my soul
Breath life into dry bones
I am but dust
Return and make me whole

Blow your breath Spirit
Flow over this your workplace
Return me to Eden’s presence
Garden walks face to face

I feast upon your words
Savour every sound
Your words are always on my lips
Much wisdom to be found

As I listen
To your voice
I take it in deep
My inner child to rejoice

I have a new clarity about my vision
My fog begins to clear
I see things so much clearer
because I’ve learned to hear

I desire a word
More than a ton of gold
I sip your sweetest honey
Ancient stories for me to hold

So I sit and wait
I spend time in listening deep
Give me the manna for today
In your words you will keep

Reviving the soul
Making wise the simple
Rejoicing the heart
Enlightening the eyes

Barry Pearman

The law of the Lord is perfect,
reviving the soul;
the decrees of the Lord are sure,
making wise the simple;
the precepts of the Lord are right,
rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the Lord is clear,
enlightening the eyes Psalm 19:7,8

Questions?

Comments?

Email me 🙂📨 barry@turningthepage.co.nz

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Quotes to consider

There is something about being gracious and accepting and gentle with ourselves at least once a week that enables us to be gracious and accepting and gentle with others. Ruth Haley Barton
In the inner stillness where meditation leads, the Spirit secretly anoints the soul and heals our deepest wounds. John of the Cross
Love yourself as you love others. If you don’t care for your own needs, you’ll soon be unable to care for those who need you. D. Riddell
Spiritual growth begins with the easily overlooked disciplines of attentiveness and surrender. David Benner
One will never have joy if you are only looking at what you are meant to be able to do. Dan Allender
Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. Dr. Seuss
We rob ourselves of immeasurable joy when we compare what we do know about ourselves with what we don’t know about someone else. Rob Bell

Questions to answer

Where do you give your life away?
What replenishes the tired soul?
Knowing your limits and being able to express them is part of having good boundaries. How many spoons do you enter the day with?

Formation exercise

Gather a number of spoons together. Teaspoons, table spoons, serving spoons. At the end of the day, write down everything you did and place a spoon next to it. Small spoons next to small energy drainers. Large spoons next to large energy drainers. Will tomorrow be the same? What changes can you make to make sure you have enough spoons ready for those things you consider of deep importance?