No More Penance to Pay

I keep trying to get things right, but there’s no more penance to pay. It’s all been taken care of.

I woke up the other morning with this phrase running through my head. ‘No more penance to pay’

What does this word ‘penance’ mean?

Penance comes from the Latin paenitentia meaning ‘repentance’, from the verb paenitere ‘be sorry’.

There is regret. A deep inward sorrow for sins or wrongdoings, often accompanied by a commitment to reform.

But then there is the doing of penance.

For some branches of the Christian faith, penance is something to be done. An act of self-punishment to show the contrition of the heart.

Perhaps someone has told you to do these certain things as acts of penance. Perhaps you have voluntarily chosen to do acts of penance.

Maybe you have felt that others want you to pay for your past?

That because you have done this or that then you have to keep on being punished?

Perhaps it’s a self-punishment?

You did certain things, and now you have to show penance. Now you beat yourself up. You may even harm yourself because ‘you deserve it’.

You self-flagellate as a form of penance. Guilt and shame beat down upon your back, but that’s ok because ‘you deserve it’.

Deeper it goes to the point of you not feeling worthy of anything good. There is no beauty in you, nothing of value.

Depression moulds your brain as you remember failure after failure, but you rationalize this because of all you’ve done or been done to you. ‘You deserve it’

So you work at it

Anxiety tells you to try harder, get in control, stay in control. Because if you’re in control, then you will reach perfection, but you never do, anxiety becomes the slave master.

The depression and anxiety pendulum swings back and forth in your brain.

A work ethic creeps in. You have to earn any sense of goodness. So you work and work. Pay and pay. You sacrifice to try to make it right.

Faith becomes transactional. If you do these things perfectly right, then you will be ok with God and others. God will reward your hard work. Your sacrifices, your commitment.

Everything is done to ‘appease an angry god’ (Macbeth)

That’s a heavy burden to carry. Impossibly heavy to carry.

No More Penance to Pay

When I hear the words ‘No more penance to pay,’ it feels like the payment has already been made.

I received a letter in the mail the other day from the Justice Department.

What have I done and how am I going to pay, I wondered?

I opened the letter and found that the bill had been paid in full.

The High Court Judge had paid it all out of his own personal funds.

In the envelope, there was an accompanying letter.

It said something like this.

I see you have gathered quite a debt. Too much for you to ever repay.

You are full of panic and fear at what could and should happen.

Depression enfolds you like a dark glove. Anxiety panics your heart.

Here’s the deal. I have paid your bill. It’s all paid. Also, any future bills they are covered too.

There is nothing to pay from your past, present, or even your future.

Actually, I didn’t receive a letter like that, but maybe I do, on a regular basis.

Absolute absolution

On Sundays, when I attend my little Anglican church, I am reminded of the forgiveness of all my sins – moments of distraction from God’s perfect way.

My vicar declares an absolution.

I need reminding because my human nature wants to keep me thinking it’s about my effort and my doing.

I am still learning to ‘Be’ and not having to ‘Do’.

There I partake in a ceremonial thanksgiving reminder of the price paid in full.

There is no more penance to pay.

Jesus has paid it all.

There is a free gift. No performance strings attached.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 3:23

The heart and the key to the Christian message is the vicarious nature of the life of Christ. Yes, He died for you, but He also lived and performed on your behalf. David Riddell

I can’t remember

Oh, and if you think God might just choose to remind you about your past debt, well God chooses not to remember.

Brennan Manning tells this story.

Perhaps you’ve heard this story: Four years ago in a large city in the far West, rumors spread that a certain Catholic woman was having visions of Jesus. The reports reached the archbishop. He decided to check her out. There is always a fine line between the authentic mystic and the lunatic fringe.

“Is it true, ma’am, that you have visions of Jesus?” asked the cleric.

“Yes,” the woman replied simply.

“Well, the next time you have a vision, I want you to ask Jesus to tell you the sins that I confessed in my last confession.”

The woman was stunned. “Did I hear you right, bishop? You actually want me to ask Jesus to tell me the sins of your past?”

“Exactly. Please call me if anything happens.”

Ten days later, the woman notified her spiritual leader of a recent apparition. “Please come,” she said.

Within the hour the archbishop arrived. He trusted eye-to-eye contact. “You just told me on the telephone that you actually had a vision of Jesus. Did you do what I asked?”

“Yes, bishop, I asked Jesus to tell me the sins you confessed in your last confession.”

The bishop leaned forward with anticipation. His eyes narrowed.

“What did Jesus say?”

She took his hand and gazed deep into his eyes. “Bishop,” she said, “these are his exact words: I CAN’T REMEMBER.’” Brennan Manning. The Ragamuffin Gospel

It’s all been paid

It’s all been paid
Nothing more for you to do
Working hard won’t make a difference
Salvation is for you

God knows your contrite heart
God through Christ looks at you
Celebrate the new beginnings
Slavery shackles burst off you

Christ lived a perfect life
Something you could not do
He took the punishment of all the crimes
All the mess in which you stew

No more brownie points to earn
No more having to get things perfectly right
Jesus has done it all
Light bursts into night

Now it’s cleanup from the inside out
Beauty to be restored
No more having to earn affection
Love laid out at your door

Welcome it in
No more penance to pay
It’s all been taken care of
Vicarious Christ for the need today

Quotes to consider

Gospel is the divine announcement that you are loved and accepted exactly as you are, that everything has been taken care of, that everything you’ve been striving to earn has been yours the entire time, that you belong, in exactly this condition that you are currently in, nothing additional required or needed. Rob Bell, Everything Is Spiritual: Finding Your Way in a Turbulent World
It is as our Brother, wearing our humanity, that he [Christ] has ascended, presenting himself eternally before the face of the Father, and presenting us in himself. As such he is not only our word to God but God’s Word to us. Toward God he is our Advocate and High Priest, but toward man he is the acceptance of us in himself. The very Spirit through whom he offered himself eternally to the Father he has sent down upon us in his High-Priestly blessing, fulfilling in the life of his Church on earth that which he has fulfilled in the heavenlies. Tom Torrance

Quotes

The heart and the key to the Christian message is the vicarious nature of the life of Christ. Yes, He died for you, but He also lived and performed on your behalf. David Riddell
You cannot ‘try harder’ to please God, and live in His grace at the same time. The one negates the other. The vicarious perfection of Christ needs to be better understood. David Riddell
Trusting in the performance of your own life, far from putting you in good standing with God, will actually disqualify you from divine grace. Faith in vicarious innocence is a better way. David Riddell
Before we can properly understand just what Christ has done, we must first grasp who Christ is. Before everything else, He is a vicar / priest to the whole world, and this is how we must understand Him, if we are too avoid turning faith into another work.
Supernatural goals need supernatural resources. Larry Crabb
We cannot embrace God’s forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. T. D. Jakes

Questions to answer

How has a ‘works’ based gospel shaped your mentl health?
Do you ‘work’ to try to get others, including God’s, approval?
What’s it like to get a gift, a very expensive gift, with no strings attached? Think Jesus having his feet anointed with ridiculously expensive perfume. Luke 7:36-50