When the Darkest of Valleys becomes a Suffocating Despair

The darkest valley can become a suffocating tomb, a hole that feels impossible to dig oneself out of, but with the help of others, a step can be made, and light can shine again.

Recently I went to see ‘Tolkien,’ a movie about the author J.R.R. Tolkien who wrote classics such as ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings.’

The movie invites you to look through the reminiscences of Tolkien as he lies in a bomb crater on the front line of the Battle of the Somme in World War One.

Tolkien has been left there in the mud with the stench of dead and rotting corpses while an aid goes looking for help. In his delirium, he drifts in and out of his past. He remembers his mother, brother, schooling, friends, and the love of his heart.

The movie brings in ghostly dark shadows, spirits, and flashes of evil that take you to the storylines in his books.

You can only come to the morning through the shadows.
J.R.R. Tolkien

You are caught up into his world of imagining and storytelling. He is in a living nightmare of the darkest valley.

His aid returns and gives him the help needed to get medical attention. He recuperates and goes on to write his famous books.

The darkest of valleys

At times life can feel incredibly dark, black, and dead. It can be like a suffocating poisonous gas has filled that valley with one intent – to seep into every cell of the soul.

You lose consciousness to anything going on around you and the world of darkness envelopes like a putrid swamp.

David, writer of the Psalms, introduces us to the valley in Psalm 23.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley Psalm 23:4

But in Psalm 31, he paints the wall of his hole with words.

Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
    my eye wastes away from grief,
    my soul and body also.
For my life is spent with sorrow,
    and my years with sighing;
my strength fails because of my misery,^[b]
    and my bones waste away.

I am the scorn of all my adversaries,
    a horror to my neighbors,
an object of dread to my acquaintances;
    those who see me in the street flee from me.
I have passed out of mind like one who is dead;
    I have become like a broken vessel.
For I hear the whispering of many—
    terror all around!—
as they scheme together against me,
    as they plot to take my life. Psalm 31: 9-13

Davids felt experience was of complete abandonment and darkness.

There is the darkness of a valley, but there is the darkness of a tomb. One you can walk out of, the other wraps around.

I wonder if J.R.R Tolkien had known this tomb.

Darkness wants you to believe that you’re cut off. That you’re in a tomb and not a valley.

A valley you pass through, a tomb will suffocate.

We all need a Private Sam Hodges.

In the movie, Tolkien has a loyal and trusted Private with him.

I wasn’t able to discover if Sam Hodges existed or not, but this soldier walked alongside Tolkien as a batman (A British officer’s personal servant).

He only briefly left Tolkien to go and get help.

Sam knew where Tolkien was entombed and returned with a direction forward.

Faithless is he that says farewell
when the road darkens. J.R.R. Tolkien

I have friends loyal in my dark places, and I have also been a batman to dark entombed souls.

The soul needs others who can shed a fraction of light into the suffocating tomb of despair.

That’s where you come in.

Can you be a batman?

You can be a superhero

In the last month (June 2019) the blog post I’ve had Enough, Take my Life God, I Want to die was viewed 400 times. It’s my top ranking post.

368 (92%) of those views came via search. Somewhere, someone in their dark tomb typed into Google ‘God, I want to die’.

Google receives a staggering 500,000 searches per month for the words ‘I want to die.’

Read I Want to Die – 530,000 Google Searches per Month

They need a batman.

Not so much a caped crusader, but someone who will search them out. Someone who will breathe some life into a dark tomb for that next moment.

A batman points out the light

You can’t save the soul, but you can point out the light. You can be the one who reminds the darkened soul of truth.

David speaks in his darkness.

But I trust in you, O Lord;
    I say, “You are my God.”
My times are in your hand;
    deliver me from the hand of my enemies and persecutors.
Let your face shine upon your servant;
    save me in your steadfast love. Psalm 31:14-16

Where David uses the words ‘enemies’ and ‘persecutors’ add in the words ‘thoughts’ and ‘feelings.’

Commit your ‘times’ once again into the hands of a gracious and loving God who knows all, is in all, and can take you through all.

Quotes to consider

Despair is a spiritual condition. Despair is when you fall under the belief and conviction that tomorrow will simply be a repeat of today. Rob Bell
God meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be or wish we were. God’s truth does not set free a pretending or hiding heart. Larry Crabb Real Church
The greatest lie believed today is that one can know God without being known by someone else. Larry Crabb