I Want to Die - 530,000 Google Searches per Month

I Want to Die – 530,000 Google Searches per Month

As you read this post, someone somewhere will be typing in to the Google search ‘I want to die.’ But what are they truly searching for? I believe it is a connection and a simple plan to get out of the hole.  

A year ago, in February 2018, I wrote a post with the title ‘I’ve Had Enough, Take my Life God, I Want to die.’ 

What has been remarkable has been the response.

  • 2821 page views
  • 82% came via search
  • 14 page views per day (currently)
  • Average time spent on page – 2 minutes 

Turning the Page now has the sad but good honor of being on page one of a Google search for the keywords ‘God, I want to die.’

Sad that so many people are typing these words in, but good that they are coming to this website and hopefully getting some help.

The 530,000

I dug a little deeper.

On my computer, I have a program that shows how many searches are conducted each month for certain words.

So I typed in ‘I want to die.’

The result still shocks me.

There are 530,000 searches every month using the keywords ‘I want to die.’

To clarify.

This is not 530,000 individual people typing in these words; it could well be some people searching multiple times over a month.

It is purely the number of searches each month on the world’s largest internet search engine.

Houston, World, we have a problem.

The Anonymous Searcher

I have concluded that there is a huge group of people called ‘The Anonymous Searcher.’

In the privacy of their internet anonymity, these are people who look for answers to their deepest questions.

Those who search for a recipe for the evening meal may well be looking to Google and other search engines to answer pain points.

Google gives them options.

Read this, watch this. Pick and choose.

Here is content that might help you cook the chicken and solve the pain.

Three responses they are searching for

I don’t believe most people truly want to die, but more so, they want an end to the pain they are experiencing.

The emotional darkness of their situation is overwhelming and all-consuming. It has snuffed out any sense of hope, light, and change.

If we could dig a little further with them, I believe the anonymous searcher actually wants three things.

  1. That their pain is heard, acknowledged.
    They want to be heard and have some sense of being listened to. That there is someone who gets what is going on.That they are not going to be treated as a problem to be solved. They are a person first who has some problems second. They want someone who knows the pain but isn’t daunted by it. Someone bigger than the pain because they understand the darkest valley shadows. They want someone like the writer of Psalm 23 discovered.

Even when the way goes through Death Valley,
… you walk at my side Psalm 23:4

  1. That there is an invite to come in close

    They want to be held, if not physically, then to be held as one that is known. To have a closeness that whispers, ‘You’re not alone, and I’m not going to leave.’
    To know the welcome enfolding of warm embrace without any words said. To be gathered under some wings.‘as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings’ Matthew 23:37
  2. That there is a plan

They need to hear that there is a way out of this mess and that it’s achievable.

There are no ‘one size fits all’ recovery plans.

Everyone is an individual and has unique needs.

Yet, we want to have the A, B, C, and X, Y, Z all laid out for us.

The qualities of a good plan

  • Supernatural involvement
    God is involved in the woof and weave of one’s life. Every stitch is known and traced. So we invite an awareness of God’s healing presence into the movement of the day.

    Supernatural goals need supernatural resources. Larry Crabb
  • Vulnerability and courage
    There is a need to be vulnerable to a few safe others who will commit to your recovery. I call them the ‘and next to them’ people.
  • Millimetre neural work
    All those little neural pathways in the brain need to be slowly and gently changed. It is the little daily changes that make the difference. It’s focusing on some insights. Stilling yourself through mindfulness and creating habits of thankfulness and living in the now.

I want to live

What I fear most about stress is not that it kills,
but that it prevents one from savoring life.
Jean-Louis Seven-Schreiber

Currently, the Google search volume for ‘I want to live’ is 8300 searches per month.

The greatest tragedy in all of those who anonymously type ‘I want to die’ is the loss of delight in the feast of life.

There is a grievous lack of experiencing the fullness of what life can offer.

Where we focus, we will go.

Quotes to consider

  • Genuine intimacy comes only when that stranger is welcomed and embraced in his or her uniqueness and difference from us. David G. Benner
  • I believe our lives will be abundant, joyful, and peaceful only to the degree that we are engaged, known, and understood by one another. Curt Thompson Anatomy of the Soul
  • The richest prayers often arise out of an empty heart. Larry Crabb

Questions to answer
(email me your responses if you like)

  1. What was your first response to the news that there are 530000 searches of ‘I want to die’ every month?
  2. How can we, you and I, connect with those in this deep dark pit?
  3. What would you like the anonymous searcher to read on page one of a Google search for ‘I want to die.’

Further reading

Want to die? 37 Sentences to Stop the Slide

6 Keys To Helping Someone Who Is Suicidal and wants to die

Is There a Barrier Stopping You From Getting the Help You Need?


Barry Pearman

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