Have You Been Put In A Box?

A judgment has been made, and you’ve been put in a box. Possibly you have built this box yourself? That box needs exploding from the inside out.

It felt like they had been judged. A rulebook had been passed over them. Measurements had been taken.

From the very few questions asked and without going deep, they had been confined to a category, a definition, a classification.

Like a butterfly who once was free to fly, they had now been pinned to a piece of cardboard and a label placed underneath.

Have you been put in a box

They had been dehumanised.

They were now ‘one of those’.

I want to know more.

Tell me the whole story.

I am curious to hear the weavings of how a broken world has bumped into your humanity.

Have you ever felt judged, categorised, or even banished because of judgments made.

You want to J.A.D.E.

Justify yourself, Argue your case, Defend and Explain, but you know that every time you have done this no one has listened because no one wants to spend the time to fully go deep into the mire of what being human is like.

Instead, it’s easier to place you in a box and treat you that way.

Perhaps you have taken on a box. Lived in it and falsely assume that this is who we are.

To be put in a box

Here in New Zealand, we have a little phrase. ‘To be put in a box’

Here is a definition

To judge someone unfairly as a member of a category of person, based on very few factors. Wiki

I like this definition.

A judgment is made
The judgment is unfair. Not taking into consideration all the factors.
The person is categorised and labelled.
All of this is based on very few factors, even assumptions.

I think I would also add another two factors.

It’s often done with speed
The box or category gets reinforced by a groupthink.

Have you ever been boxed?

Judgments made about you that were unfair and based on very few factors. Perhaps the gossip mill was working overtime and the grind spat you out.

Or perhaps you have adopted a ‘box’ from which you live in and see the world from.

A box that isn’t true and actually needs exploding so you can walk in new freedom.

People like boxes

We all do it. It’s a way of feeling safe and finding security. Of creating social structures.

You are in this tribe, and to be in this tribe you have to abide by these social norms.

But when someone challenges the norms, breaks the rules, or steps outside of conformity, then they are placed in a box.

Gossip spreads to reinforce social norms.

We like boxes. They work until they don’t.

They begin to not work when more information is received or the box just doesn’t seem to fit anymore. When the judgment, based on very few factors, is overturned because new evidence has come to light.

When change has happened and old judgments just don’t work.

I think of a number of criminal cases here in New Zealand where someone has been convicted of a crime, placed in a prison box, and then new evidence has been found and the innocence of the person has been made known.

They have walked out of the prison box, but a stigma may remain. Some people will continue to have them in that box. They will always be known for the box they had been thrown into.

They leave the box, but the shadow of the box remains.

Jesus enters the box

One of the features of the life of Jesus was that he constantly entered the lives of those who had been boxed.

He talked with women, men, lepers, tax-collectors, blind, lame, and everyone who didn’t quite measure up.

He entered the box of those who had been shunned and discriminated against.

Jesus did this so much that a reputation about him spread.

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Matthew 9:10-17, Mark 2:15-22, Luke 5:29-39

He was thrown into the box.

‘Good guy, but he eats with those we have shunned. Because he does these things, we reject him. Actually, he is upsetting our nice social structure so much that we had better get rid of him. Let’s nail him to a tree.’

God enters your box

Everyone has one.

Everyone has a box from which they live. Judgments made form the walls.

Judgments made by others about who we are.

We adopt judgments.

But I wonder what would happen if Jesus entered that box we call home.

Some renovations are required.

C.S. Lewis says this …

Imagine yourself as a living house.

God comes in to rebuild that house.

At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing.

He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense.

What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.

You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.

He intends to come and live in it Himself. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Your fatness

Perhaps the box you live in needs to explode from the inside out.

The walls of the box can no longer contain all of who you are and who you’re becoming.

The squareness cannot contain the swelling roundness of a life full of Christ.

I want to grow fat.

There is a beautiful verse in Isaiah that talks about yokes. These are large collars placed over an animal’s neck to pull a cart or a plough.

That yoke was crafted to fit the animal’s neck, but when the animal’s neck grew and swelled, the yoke no longer fit.

In that day their burden will be lifted from your shoulders, their yoke from your neck;
the yoke will be broken because you have grown so fat. Isaiah 10:27 NIV

Boxes and yokes both constrain, but when there is a growth from within, they can no longer contain the restrictive constraint.

You’re swelling roundness in God explodes the box.

I want to enter your box

You’ve been boxed. Judgments made, gossip spread, a shunning by the community.

Real or perceived, it still feels isolating.

What is needed is for someone to enter with gentle curiosity.

A delicateness to the dance.

Presenting comfort and love that cuts through the fear.

A discerning of what is true and what is not.

Releasing shame and guilt, forgiving self and others.

A reimagining of what life could be like beyond the box, and then encouragement to take a few tentative steps.

Remember this. The God who knows all forgives all.

I’ve been put in a box

I’ve been put in a box
Walls closing in
Judgments been made
‘Solitary confinement for them.’

Sharpen the edges
Black and white lines
We have a category for them
Lets keep them inside

I like my life in categories
This one belongs but not them
Keep them confined in a judgment
Isolated away, brain bent

He sees past the judgment
Knows all the pain
All that lies hidden away
Dark nights, dark strain

You’ve put me in a box
God has entered there
To sit with the lonely and broken
Jesus sheds a tear

God knows no boxes
They see us all the same
New garments for the child
New welcome and new name

I want to look beyond the walls
Created that hold you in
Seeing the swelling of newness
Butterfly beauty flying again

Quotes to consider

To understand all is to forgive all. Evelyn Waugh
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anaïs Nin
Perfection is static, and I am in full progress. Anaïs Nin
The difficulty and pain of change is the fear of giving away my identity to become someone I don’t readily recognize. Real progress means adopting a new and different identity. David Riddell
The pain of change comes from the difficulty of betraying and opposing one’s own long-held beliefs, once they are found to be wrong. David Riddell

Questions to answer

Have you been placed in a box? What is the box?
What boxes have you formed around yourself?
What would it be like to grow so fat in God that the box walls that others have placed around you and that you have built around yourself simply can’t contain the new you?

Formation exercise

Name some boxes we use to define others. What boxes have constrained you from becoming more of what God always intended you to be? ‘You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.’ What feelings and thoughts does this sentence from C.S. Lewis spark in you? How’s the palace looking?