When you don’t want to wake up the next morning, pray that God may gently wake you up to the goodness happening all around you. Then soak yourself in it. Take it in and let it mindfully grow throughout your soul.
Last week, I was out doing some garden work for an elderly lady. When I arrived, she invited me in for a cup of coffee in her small, one-bedroom unit. Like many older people living by themselves, she wanted to talk. She told me all about her family, her children, and some of the tragedies of her life—all in half an hour.
In the midst of the conversation, she softly said that she often prays she won’t wake up in the morning.
Prayers from the Pillow: Understanding the Struggle
Secretly, I think many people pray for this. As the head rests on the pillow at night, some of our deepest, most honest prayers are made.
As someone who struggles with depression, I know that prayer intimately. Perhaps you do too. You’re tired of the pain, you feel lost, totally alone, and you just wish it would all go away.
But there are other prayers you can pray from the pillow. I will share them with you shortly.
What is Passive Suicidality and Passive Depression?
Passive suicidality (or passive depression) is a specific kind of suicidal depression where you want to die, but you don’t want to kill yourself. You don’t have active plans for intentional self-harm, but you still, in some way, hope that death will happen to you.
Important Note: Passive suicidal ideation is the soil out of which the seeds of active suicidal thoughts grow. It needs to be taken seriously, and professional help should always be sought.
Hearing my this lady speak, I wondered: how long had that thought been nurtured in her heart?
Soulcare for Depression: The Power of Presence
For someone in that dark place, the greatest gift you can give is your presence. Sitting and listening with no agenda is a beautiful offering to a tired soul.
When offering soulcare to someone experiencing passive depression, practice a conversation of:
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No Fixing
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No Advising
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No Saving
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No Setting them straight
(If you want to dive deeper into this, read my post: Please: No Fixing, Advising, Saving or Straightening Out)
Instead, ask gentle questions that show a true connection to their soul. It’s a gift that we all need—and one we can all give.
Two Nighttime Prayers for Depression and Anxiety
There are two “pillow prayers” I encourage you to pray, even if you aren’t feeling suicidal. These are two beautiful prayers to reset your heart when you go to sleep, preparing you to wake up well.
1. A Prayer to Be Gathered In
Jesus described God’s love as being like a hen gathering her chicks under her wings:
Jesus was talking to the people of Jerusalem about their stubborn refusal to come to God. But for us, it is beautiful imagery to hold onto as we drift off to sleep. Imagine yourself being gathered into and under the protective, warm wings of God.
The Prayer: “God, gather me under your wings. May I feel your closeness, warmth, and love for me at this moment. Help me to hear your heartbeat of consistent love. As I sleep, may you be at work in my situation. Amen.”
2. A Prayer for Spiritual Awareness
The second prayer is one of awareness. What has God been up to while you have been cuddled asleep under His wings?
To combat depression, we must look for the little gifts of God: a flower blooming, a bird singing in a tree, or the refreshment of a cold glass of water. Soak in these gifts. Mindfully take them in, and then give thanks.
When talking about worry and anxiety, Jesus advises us to be proactive in noticing God’s creation:
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“Look at the birds of the air…” — Matthew 6:26
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“See how the flowers of the field grow…” — Matthew 6:28
Hope is not found in passively waiting for life to happen to us. It is discovered by actively taking part in the life happening all around us. It’s the small delights along the way that we need to focus on.
The Prayer: “God, wake me up to the reality of what you’re inviting me to be part of. May I see with fresh eyes the delights of your creation and embrace their welcome. Amen.”
Learning to Wake Up Well
After listening to my neighbor’s story, I began working in her overgrown garden.
As I pulled away the weeds and pruned back overgrown shrubs, I discovered some succulents called Silver Dollars (Crassula arborescens). They were covered in beautiful, petite white flowers.
She got a great deal of delight as I exposed their beauty to the world, and she began remembering stories about them. She was beginning to wake up well. Then, another neighbor called in just to say good morning.
There were snippets of God’s goodness happening all around her, but her soul had been focused elsewhere. The invitation was there for her to wake up to the goodness of God in her day.
When you don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning, pray that God may gently wake you up to the goodness happening all around you. Then soak yourself in it. Take it in and let it mindfully grow throughout your soul.
Quotes to Consider
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What I focus on gets me. Focus on the negatives will always take me down; focus on the positives will always give me hope.
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“Despair is a spiritual condition. Despair is when you fall under the belief and conviction that tomorrow will simply be a repeat of today.” — Rob Bell
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“Paying attention is being open and awake – ready to be seized by whatever is present to us in the present moment.” — David Benner
Questions to Reflect On
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What are the honest prayers you pray as you go to sleep?
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What little gifts of delight are happening all around you that you might not be noticing?
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Who is someone in your neighborhood that could use the gift of “Soulcare” today?
Further Reading for Hope and Mental Health
By Barry Pearman
