emotional healing Archives

Do you Self-Sabotage?

You step out to make a change, but then it stops. There is sabotage, a self-sabotage, but with good listening we can see movement forward. One of the saddest things you can see is when someone sets out to change some aspect of their life, they get to a certain […]

Relationships & Connection

She Crossed a Line

She crossed a line with her words, a line that was getting thinner with every wag of the tongue, but what could be done to help them both? It was the evening of the very first day of the year (2025). A beautiful summer’s day here in New Zealand. […]

Trauma & Recovery

The Problem is The Problem – Not the Person

We all have problems, but we can over-personalise them. But the problem is the problem. Not the person. There is something sneaky about problems in that, over time, starting from being a little child, problems can morph and sneak into your thinking so much so that you see yourself as […]

Faith & Mental Health

Wisdom Ointment is Free

I need wisdom ointment, but so much ointment contains flies. Wisdom that comes from above, wisdom that is pure and holy. I was visiting a friend the other day, and she noticed I had some eczema on my hand. It had been there a few days and was slightly […]

Trauma & Recovery

Redeemed pain is more impressive than removed pain

We all have painful experiences in life, but redeemed pain is more impressive than removed pain. What good can be found within in our pain? Sometimes I am given a gift voucher. It has no value tangibly in itself. It is but a piece of plastic the size of […]

Faith & Mental Health

Does God Forget?

I want to forget some things. But does God forget? Does God choose not to remember and if so, how does this help me heal? I once visited the ancient ruins of Olympia, Greece. The tour guide told me that in the entrance to the athletic stadium there were once pillars […]

Mental health Spiritual Formation

Love is a Gift With no Strings Attached

When the receiving of love has strings attached, then is it really love? Love is a Gift With no Strings Attached. In many of the gardens I visit, they have garden hoses, and for the last few years many gardeners have been installing retractable hose reels. They are quite a […]

Trauma & Recovery

Opened Too Early

There is a time for everything, and some things get opened too early, but there is hope, and God can bring release and recovery. They had been opened too soon. They weren’t ready yet. Her deep beauty had not been allowed to fully mature, but now it had been […]

Trauma & Recovery

Sitting with Shame

Sitting with shame can suffocate life, but sitting in solidarity with someone in soul talk can break its control. It’s there if you want to hear it. A sneaky, whispery voice from the past. You hear it in others. They may have said nothing directly to you, but it’s […]

Grief & Loss

Coping with Ambiguous Loss by Estrangement

I never saw it coming -the cataclysmic argument that triggered my adult son to estrange me three years ago. I might never see it end -the suffering of ambiguous loss of the relationship without closure. Coined by family therapist Pauline Boss, Ph.D., 40 years ago, ambiguous loss refers to unresolved […]