Six Qualities of People that Restore the Soul

Some people can help you restore. Some you need to put out of the room. What are six qualities of people that restore the soul?

Life can give you a battering at times, but there are some people that seem to be able to come alongside and help you restore.

I didn’t need advice or problem solving. I didn’t want someone to tell me ‘It will be alright.’

I simply needed someone to be there.

To be a strand of the c ommunity nest that I was in.

I have lots of people in my life. Most are helpful and supportive. Some I have some firm boundaries around because they can be quite hurtful.

But there are some people that, in my darkest moments, when my cup of life has drained out, are the ones that will come and empower me to restore.

In this series about restoring the soul, I suggest that there are three ‘P’s’ needed to restore the soul. The first of these is people.

Six qualities of people who restore the soul

I believe that people who can come alongside a tired and burnt out soul and help it restore have six qualities.

It’s not that the one person has to have them all. That could be the case, but more likely these qualities are to be found in a group of people.

This is not an exhaustive list either. You may have your suggestions too.

But these are mine.

1. Compelling vision

A compelling vision is one where we look beyond the struggle of this present moment to seeing what might happen in the near and distant future.

We can so easily get stuck in the muck and the mire of a burnt-out soul, but with a compelling vision, we can look over the top and see what could be.

It’s the first on the list because I think it’s the most important. We so often enter people’s lives without, what I would call, a ‘Spirit discerned vision’ of who and what they could become.

Where there is no vision, the people perish Proverbs 29:18

I need people in my life who can see beyond my now and into my tomorrow and into the years to come. They hold this vision somewhere within themselves as a kind of prayer, but not as a pressure to be or do.

2. Able to gently remind

When you are burned out and exhausted, you can so easily get stuck in a deep, dark place of despair.

Despair is a spiritual condition.
Despair is when you fall under the belief and conviction that tomorrow will simply be a repeat of today. Rob Bell

People who restore the soul seem to have the ability to quietly remind us of truth. They point us to our strengths and how we have overcome past struggles. They remind us of God’s faithfulness to the brokenhearted.

A bruised reed he will not break,
And a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. Isaiah 42:3

3. They don’t try to F.A.S.S.

There are some people I want to put out of my room of supporters. To not have them in my burned out state.

I don’t want people who have a F.A.S.S. agenda

People who have a seemingly desperate need to

- Fix me. I don’t want to be seen as a project or some broken object that needs repair.
- Advise me. I don’t want to be told what to do. Yes, a little wisdom helps, but help me find this myself.
- Save me. I don’t want to be rescued from that which I was always meant to learn from.
- Straightening out. I don’t want to be panel beaten into their form of straightness. Instead, help me find God’s design for me.

4. They believe in you

There are some people who simply believe in you. Yes, there may be a compelling vision, but this goes deeper.

It’s a knowing that someone sees you and knows there is a purpose and beauty in you. That given time, and good soul talk, that there will be restoration.

5. Unpressured

People that are unpressured don’t have an agenda of change.

They don’t have a ‘tick-box’ mentality of making things happen.

Yes, there might be some gentle nudges and encouragements, but overall, you won’t be feeling an energy and pressure being projected on to you.

6. Able to have fun and normalise

Recovery and restoration can be all-consuming.

People who know how to restore others know that ‘too much work makes Jack a dull boy’.

That there is a season, or a time, to embrace the hard stuff. But there is also a time to do normal things. To get out of the house, go for a walk, play with the neighbour’s dog, and smell the roses.

Who is in your room?

In a Jesus’ story we find him coming to a sick little girl and encountering people who didn’t have any of the six qualities mentioned above.

When they came to the house of the leader of the synagogue, he [Jesus] saw a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly.

When he had entered, he said to them, ‘Why do you make a commotion and weep? The child is not dead but sleeping.’

And they laughed at him. Then he put them all outside, and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him, and went in where the child was.

He took her by the hand and said to her, ‘Talitha cum’, which means, ‘Little girl, get up!’

And immediately the girl got up and began to walk about (she was twelve years of age). At this they were overcome with amazement. Mark 5:38-42

There are some people that you need to put out of the room of your life.

There are others you need to welcome and embrace the gift they have for you.

An invitation is also there for you to develop those six qualities in yourself.

Questions?
Comments?
Email me 🙂📨
barry@turningthepage.co.nz

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Quotes to consider

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one. C.S. Lewis
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. Anais Nin
Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.
Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend. Albert Camus
Real encouragement occurs when words are spoken from a heart of love to another’s recognized fear. Larry Crabb
Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread. D.T Niles

Questions to answer

If there was a seventh quality to people who help restore the soul, what would that be?
Which of the six qualities surprised you?
Why do people want to F.A.S.S.? – Fix, Advise, Save, Straighten out.