‘What are you doing here’? Is Gods invite for us to explore our lives. To discover the reasons for what we do. It’s an empowering question to ask yourself and others.
I knew where he would be. In that dark, dingy cave of a place, hunched over a machine and filling it with the grocery money. When I arrived it was the smell that hit me first, then the noise of dings and pings as various gambling machines synced their donors into submission.
I saw him in the dark with a trance-like look on his face. I had entered into another world.
I leaned near him and gently asked ‘What are you doing here’?
He looked around to see me and said ‘I’m on a winning streak here’.
I quietly asked again ‘What are you doing HERE’.
He suddenly woke up a little and realised it was me wanting him to come home to where he was supposed to be.
It may be drugs, alcohol, porn, gambling, clothes, appearance, perfectionism, appearance, control, self-preservation. Anything that takes you to an extreme and has a level of control over you.
Anything where a true and safe friend would say ‘What are you doing HERE’?
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? Am I wrong?
And you may say yourself,
“My God! What have I done?”
Talking Heads
Have you ever come to that prodigal place where you say to yourself ‘My God! What have I done?”
Red Dot
Near the entrance to any shopping mall, you will find a map. It will have a list of shops on one side and a plan of the complex. An arrow will point to a red dot and next to the arrow will be these words ‘You are here’.
You have found your location and can make a plan to get to where you want to be.
That is of course if you accept that where you are is actually where you are.
How honest you are with yourself will determine whether you cyclically keep coming back to the same red dot or you get to another place, a better place.
What are you doing here?
You have discovered that you are somewhere where you least expected to be.
What happened? How did you get here? Answers elude you.
God asked that very question of Elijah, twice.
Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 1 Kings 19: 9, 13
When God asks a question, it’s not because God doesn’t know the answer. It’s because God wants us to think about the question. For us to do the deep work of digging into ourselves.
What are you doing here – watching porn, trying to control, comfort eating, pretending you’re something you’re not.
It’s the question that is at the heart of good soul talk, therapy, and spiritual direction.
We all have our little (and not so little) vices that we think nobody knows about.
God does not come to Elijah as a harsh disciplinarian wanting to punish Elijah for abandoning his call. Elijah is human, not superhuman and God knows this well.
The answer of a Victim
Elijah plays the victim role well.
“I’ve been working my heart out for the God-of-the-Angel-Armies,” said Elijah. “The people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed the places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.” 1 Kings 19: 9, 13
Twice God asked the question, twice Elijah gave the same response. Always externalising the causes. Basically, he was saying that he was on the run because of what others, including the ‘God-of-the-Angel-Armies’, had done.
The answer of reflection
When we look into a mirror, we see ourselves. Look closely enough, and you will see what you don’t want to see. Warts, wrinkles and weariness.
God in a whisper asks ‘What are you doing here’, and we are invited into own labyrinth of mystery.
We are never alone in that complicated network of thinking paths. God takes us from one Red Dot on a map to the next.
Elijah could have just said ‘I’m scared’ and that would have been honest with his Red Dot.
The gentle invite
God will be asking you that same question.
‘What are you doing here’? invites some deep questions.
- What is it you are hoping to find in the comfort eating, cutting, alcohol, being in control, perfectionism, anger?
- What need are you hoping to fill in a self-reliant way that God wants you to trust them with?
Isn’t it time to explore those deeper places in your life to find the reason for what you do?
Don’t play the victim, take responsibility for yourself. Lean into the love God has for you and trust.
Further Reading
- Fight, Flight, or Freeze. There is a Mental Health invite Underneath
- 7 Steps to Help Those with P.L.O.M’s (Poor Little Old Me) in the Mouth
Quotes to Consider
- God does not promise to rearrange our worlds to suit our longings. Larry Crabb
- So long as we imagine that it is we who have to look for God, we must often lose heart. But it is the other way about; He is looking for us. And so we can afford to recognize that very often we are not looking for God; far from it, we are in full flight from him, in high rebellion against him. And He knows that and has taken it into account. He has followed us into our own darkness; there where we thought finally to escape him, we run straight into his arms. So we do not have to erect a false piety for ourselves, to give us the hope of salvation. Our hope is in his determination to save us, and he will not give in. Simon Tugwell
- Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul. CSLewis
Questions to answer
- How would you say ‘What are you doing here’ to someone else?
- Why do we easily take on the role of being a victim to others instead of examing our own hearts?
- What is required to truly and honestly identify and accept your Red Dot reality?
Barry Pearman
Image cc: Isaac Davis
