Who do I Entrust my 'Self' to?

People can let us down. We let others down. But there is one that we can entrust our ‘self’ to that is solid and true. Deep knowing grows that makes us strong.

I’ve been dwelling on a word lately. Entrust.

Words carry power. They connect thoughts, memories, ideas, and wisdom to produce further connections. I love words, especially ones we seldom use.

Entrust means to put something into someone’s care or protection.

A parent with a sick child that needs surgery entrusts the welfare of their child into the hands of a skilled surgeon.

You entrust your money into the care of a bank.

In romance, you entrust your heart into the hands of someone you love.

You choose to entrust

It’s a choice, a decision. You act out of the best knowledge you have at the time.

We entrust ourselves, and for the most part, we get it right. Banks are generally more secure than us hiding money under the mattress.

But who do you entrust your very heart to?

People can let us down badly. They can use our vulnerability for selfish reasons and even take pleasure in our demise.

Something deep within every human is a longing for connection. To be loved, held, and known. But the other side of this shiny coin is tarnished black memories of rejection. I want connection – soul to soul-but to get that I risk rejection.

I need someone who knows where I live. The streets of my mind where I wander every day. Someone who knows the dark corners I hide in. The escape alleyways I run down when I am under threat—those walls I have built to self-protect.

I need someone to keep vigil beside me as I sleep at night. Someone to make sure the monsters of my dreams don’t become real.

I am alone but want to be known, loved, and held. Who can I entrust myself for that?

He entrusted himself

I was reading the story of someone who entrusted himself entirely to others as an act of love. He was vulnerable to others. People could do whatever they liked with him, and they did.

Then he felt the full human expression of being used, abused, traumatized, and ultimately murdered.

One of those that abused his trust was his best friend, Peter.

Peter went on to write about Jesus in this way.

‘He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.’

When he was abused, he did not return abuse;
when he suffered, he did not threaten;
but he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. 1 Peter 2:22-23

Put yourself in the dusty sandals that Jesus walked in. He entrusted himself to us as humans.

He was like a river of love flowing out towards us. Overflowing acceptance and love even to those who hated him.

But he was abused. Don’t think just crucifixion. No, it was every little slight and rejection of his perfect love. It was a suffering that took him to places of weeping and pain for the rejection he experienced.

He entrusted his openness to us, and we spat on his vulnerability.

I’ve been judged

I’ve been accused of things I have never done. I have been labeled, boxed, and parcelled up.

How about you?

Have you received the rejection letter? What about the cold shoulder of others?

Times when some stones of shame have been picked up to throw at you.

Jesus is in solidarity with you. He knows the loneliness of it all.

It’s empowering to see how Jesus handled all the abuse.

He entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.

Human judges have a difficult task. They weigh all the evidence presented to them and make a judgment.

We do the same. We are presented with a particular set of facts and draw conclusions.

Jesus entrusts himself to the one who sees all and knows all. Therefore, he is secure in God’s judgment of him.

Who are you entrusting your ‘self’ to?

Can I trust God, who has known me before my birth, to judge fairly?

The God I know sits with boundless amounts of mercy and grace. God knows all our failings yet still calls us to the softest place of the heart.

This word ‘entrust’ in the original language of Greek was ‘paradidómi,’ meaning to hand over, to give, or deliver over.

Think of loving parents watching their small child being wheeled away to surgery. They hand what’s most precious to themselves over to someone to do something beyond their capability.

I am entrusting my ‘self,’ handing over all I am to God.

I am nurtured, held, loved, and known in that profoundly secure place.

It’s a daily handing over and entrustment of my life.

Mental health becomes secure and solid.

Quotes to consider

Any approach to life that doesn’t center in trust eventually produces misery. Larry Crabb
Only love can soften a hard heart. Only love can renew trust after it has been shattered. Only love can inspire acts of genuine self-sacrifice.Only love can free us from the tyrannizing effects of fear. David G. Benner
God is no stranger to the process of repairing damaged relationships. His trust has been broken many times by those he loves. John Townsend and Dr. Cloud Henry
When you stand before Me [God] in mystery, you will eventually rest within Me in trust. When you can’t figure Me out, you will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy of freedom and hope. Larry Crabb
You will never turn your will and your life over to any other kind of God except a loving and merciful One. Richard Rohr.
The surrender of faith does not happen in one moment but is an extended journey, a trust walk, a gradual letting go, unlearning, and handing over. Richard Rohr.

Questions to answer

What does the word ‘entrust’ mean to you?
What stories capture the meaning of ‘entrust’ for you?
Where have you felt the coldness of rejection and how has this shaped your heart?

Who do I Entrust my ‘Self’ to?