What is the most dangerous word in the world?
I recently asked this question via my various social networks. The responses were interesting:
1. No
2. Yes
3. Can’t
4. If
5. Love
For me, I think the most dangerous word in the world is ‘love’.
To love means risk. It means uncrossing the arms that protect the heart and inviting an embrace.
C.S. Lewis puts it well:
- To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
— C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Deep in the core of who we are is the imprint of the creator God. They left their mark upon us, a sign of what we most truly, deeply desire and what we are called to be for others:
* To be explored, known, discovered, and touched.
* To be loved unconditionally.
* To hold someone else in a warm, inclusive embrace.
Looking over the fence
I think of the story of a young man who was loved in this way, but looked over the fence to where, in his opinion, the grass looked greener. In searching for a selfish love where he was in control, he became a man knocking on brothel doors.
- Every time a man knocks on a brothel door, he is really searching for God.
— G. K. Chesterton
His vacuous, empty heart was never filled, and the means to fund his addictive lifestyle soon ran dry. Fairweather friends caught the next bus and now he was left in beggar’s clothes, dirty and smelling of pigs.
What a reject! Self-loathing and shame stung at his soul.
As a result, he projects onto his Father his own fears:
‘I don’t deserve a thing, certainly not love, so I will be the beggar servant and at least I will have food to eat and perhaps a bed to sleep in. Perhaps he will accept me skulking in through the back door for a few crumbs’.
He imagines his father to be what he thinks he should be like: harsh, punishing, and merciless.
Projections
How dangerous, do you think, are the self-generated projections we throw onto God and onto others?
In this wonderful story, the Father rushes to the son, embraces his smelliness and throws a party.
Have you ever had a totally unexpected surprise? You have been loved when all you expected was hate, anger, and rejection.
Love is the most dangerous word because we can’t control the flow of it towards ourselves. It frightens us at times. It catches us unawares.
Mike Mason writes this:
- Can we imagine what it would be like to so move and excite the heart of God that He would run to meet us, throw His arms around us and kiss us, dress us in His best robe, and put rings on our fingers? Can we picture the Lord Almighty killing the fattened calf for us and throwing a big party in our honor? Can we imagine having the Creator of the universe say to us, just as He said to Jesus Christ, “You are My beloved Son, and I like you” (Mark 1:11)?
— Mike Mason, The Gospel According to Job
Can you imagine this for yourself?
Love is a dangerous word. Could you be vulnerable to a God that rushes to you, arms open wide, and whispers, ‘You are my beloved son/daughter and I like you’?
- In God there is no hunger that needs to be filled, only plenteousness that desires to give.
— C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Questions to consider and leave a comment:
1. Why is the word ‘love’ dangerous to you?
2. What emotions and thoughts stir in you as God says, ‘You are my beloved son/daughter and I like you’?
3. What false projections do you throw onto God?
Barry Pearman
Photo Credit: Nina Matthews Photography via Compfight cc
One thought on “The Danger of Love: Unmasking Our Fears of Being Known”
I’m reminded of these lines from near the end of Luther’s hymn, ‘A Mighty Fortress’:
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.
That word above all earthly pow’rs, no thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours through Him Who with us sideth….