Feeling anxious about going to church? You are not alone. Here are 12 common barriers that keep people away from a Sunday service, and 10 practical, low-pressure ways to ease back into Christian community at your own pace.
So many people avoid being part of a church service because it just makes them feel uncomfortable. Feelings of anxiety, panic, and being judged are just some of the challenges.
Yet they have a deep desire to be part of a worshipping community. They want to know God and they want to form relationships with others, but barriers and roadblocks exist.
Here are just a few barriers that I have encountered in almost 30 years of walking alongside people as a mental health support worker, chaplain and pastor. Perhaps you would like to add a few in the comments section below.
In this post
- 12 common barriers to attending a church service
- Redefine what church means
- Test the waters safely
- Strategies for attending the service
- What are your thoughts?
12 Common Barriers to Attending a Church Service
These are the words I have heard again and again from people who long to belong but can’t quite walk through the door.
Fear of judgement and not fitting in
- 1. Judgemental teaching: “I fear that I am going to be made to feel guilty.”
- 2. Clothing: “They all dress better than me.”
- 3. Habits: “I smoke (or drink or…) and they are so perfect, they wouldn’t accept me.”
- 4. Relationships: “I know people in that church and they know me, perhaps they will gossip about me.”
- 5. Money: “They are always asking for money and I don’t have any. It makes me feel guilty that I can’t give when the offering plate comes round.”
- 6. Hygiene: “I can’t afford soap and deodorants so I smell, people won’t like that.”
Anxiety, concentration and the service itself
- 7. Anxiety: “I can’t sit still, I pace, I will just disturb others and draw attention to myself.”
- 8. Crowd size: “Too many people too close, I don’t like being so close to others.”
- 9. Concentration: “I just can’t concentrate for the length of the service.”
- 10. The sermon: “It’s too long and words are used that I just don’t understand.”
Questions about God and mental illness
- 11. God stuff: “Does God really love me? I have done some really bad stuff. There is no way anyone would accept me.”
- 12. Illness misunderstandings: “They think my illness is all due to some sin in my life, some demons, some lack of will power or faith. Does God think this?”
That last fear is sadly common. If it is yours, you may find hope in why a Christian can have a mental illness and in whether depression means you lack faith.
I could keep writing many more examples, all of which are valid to the mind of the person experiencing them.
How to Deal with Church Anxiety: 10 Practical Ideas
If you want to find a Christian community but find the Sunday morning experience overwhelming, you do not have to jump into the deep end right away. Try these 10 steps to ease your anxiety.
Redefine What “Church” Means
1. Shift your mindset. Change your belief that “church” is strictly a building or a specific time on Sunday. Church is ultimately about a Christ-centred relationship with others.
2. Start small. Find just two or three other people you can trust. Meet in a cafe or a home to read the Bible, pray, and listen to each other.
Test the Waters Safely
3. Scope it out online. Check the church’s website, Facebook page, or YouTube livestream first. This lets you see the vibe, the dress code, and the teaching style from the comfort of your home.
4. Do a drive-by observation. Sit outside in your car before a service and watch people coming and going. Are they wearing casual clothes? Are there families, singles, or people with disabilities? Do they look friendly, or do they look rigid?
5. Talk to a leader. Reach out to a church staff member online or via phone. Explain your difficulties and ask how they accommodate people with anxiety. Their reaction will tell you instantly if it’s the right church for you. Look for the three ingredients of a safe church for your mental health.
Strategies for Attending the Service
6. Have a church buddy. Find a trusted friend to go with you. Having someone to sit with and reassure you can cut your anxiety in half. There is real power in someone saying “I am with you”.
7. Arrive late and leave early. If the pre-service mingling or loud worship music triggers your panic, slip in right as the sermon starts and slip out before the closing prayer. You won’t be the only one doing this!
8. Choose an end seat near the back. Sitting at the end of a row near the back exit gives you an easy escape route to pace or step outside if it all gets to be too much.
9. Ask for sermon notes. If you struggle to concentrate, ask if the church provides printed sermon notes or outlines so you can read them at your own pace later.
10. Don’t worry about the big words. If the preacher uses complex theology words you don’t know, don’t sweat it. Ask someone later. Chances are, they might not know either!
And if a big service simply isn’t for you, that’s okay. I explore this further in Do you have church anxiety?
What Are Your Thoughts?
Every single one of these fears is valid to the person experiencing them. But fear doesn’t have to keep you isolated from God’s community.
Do you struggle with church anxiety? What barriers have you faced, or what tips have helped you slip back into fellowship? Let me know in the comments below!
Further Reading
- Do you have Church Anxiety? — Feeling anxious at church? Explore why “praying right” isn’t a cure for anxiety and how to find a faith community that truly offers peace.
- 3 Ingredients of a Safe Church for your Mental Health — Is Church helping your Mental Health? Fall in love with compassion, creativity, and connection. 3 ingredients of a safe church.
- Yes. A Christian can have a Mental Illness — Having a Mental Illness can mean you feel very alone, but does being a Christian mean that you’re somehow on the outside?
- Does Having Depression Mean I Lack Faith? — Is depression caused by a lack of faith? Find hope through grace and self-compassion, leaving toxic church shame behind.
- How to Overcome Anxiety Through Solidarity: I Am With You — When guilt isolates, “I am with you” is the only bridge back to hope. Discover the power of solidarity in the face of judgment and shame.
- A Church for the Little Ones — Explore what a church for the “little ones” looks like. From cult recovery to radical inclusion, discover the power of the humble “mikros.”
About the Author
Barry Pearman has spent almost 30 years as a mental health support worker, community chaplain, and pastor, and has walked through depression himself. His training includes SoulCare Foundations under Dr Larry Crabb, a Bachelor of Applied Theology, spiritual direction training, and certificates in CBT interventions, pastoral therapy, and integrated mental health care. Turning the Page offers a grace-filled path to mental wholeness through faith and hope.
