Understanding Men: How to Listen so You can Connect

Do you understand men? Men are in trouble. If two-thirds of the suicides are men, what does this tell us about the struggle many men are facing. But we can learn how to listen to them. When we understand men, we can connect with their struggle.

What makes a man different from a woman? Does anyone care?

When I met him for the first time, it seemed like life had been knocked out of him. There was no desire for him to do anything. He was sick at heart.

A man sick at heart. 

A grown man with nothing to devote himself to is a man who is sick at heart. Terrance Real

There are a lot of ‘sick at heart’men.

Everything on the surface may look good and functional, but who is listening to the real man under the hood? What are the issues and struggles he is privately trying to overcome?

But a man has the capacity to do great things. To move into his world and bring profound goodness. To move into his relationships in ways that release something good and life-changing.

There is something in every man that needs to be encouraged.

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Understanding men

To begin to understand men, we need to go back to basics. What does the word ‘Male’ mean?

Then we need to look at the world he is being called to move into. It’s a particular type of chaos—disorganized, fractious, dangerous, and kind of mysterious.

Does he take it by force, flee to his cave or freeze up?

When we can understand men, we can connect with them at a deeper level. We will know how to encourage and support them, and relationships will flourish.

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What’s inside

In this short easy to read book, you will discover

  • Why men don’t talk
  • The meaning of the word ‘Male.’
  • The ‘moving’ and ‘remembering’ interplay
  • How shame and failure play out in a man’s life
  • The importance of the tangible
  • Why every man needs a batman or batwoman
  • The ‘Cœur’ of encouragement


  • 75 pages (A4)
  • 11500 words
  • Format – pdf, Mobi (Kindle), ePub, softcover print book
  • Cost – PAY WHAT YOU WANT – ‘Decide in your heart how much to give. 2 Corinthians 9:7’
  • Buy on Amazon

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“Barry’s book unearths the complexities and challenges of intimate and vulnerable emotional relationships with men and gives those outside that perspective a roadmap to understand that territory better. I think men too, are also the audience for this read. They will be helped in its pages to understand themselves better.  The book is really practical and will help a lot of people”. Lisa Colón DeLay Lisa Delay

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