It’s so easy to be caught up in doing.
We measure ourselves by our output or lack of it. We so easily judge others by what they do—how much they do and the effectiveness of what they do. We feel “so guilty” when we don’t live up to expectations: God’s, our family and friends’, and even our own. High is the mountain of to-do’s, must-do’s, and have-to’s.
So when I read in our church notices that our Vicar was going on a spiritual retreat, my heart leapt with joy. She was pulling away from all the lists, meetings, and people to see, so that she could simply be.
To be.
You see, I want her doing to flow from her being. In fact, my fellow parishioners and I need it to come from a well of retreat rather than from a cup of emptiness.
When I first entered ministry, I went and visited other pastors who were involved in giving pastoral care to those with mental illnesses. I remember staying with one of them, and on his study wall was this quote by Henri Nouwen:
“People with handicaps teach me that being is more important than doing, the heart is more important than the mind, and caring together is better than caring alone.” — Henri Nouwen
As I met further with more pastors involved with those in deep need, they seemed to all have a bent towards a contemplative lifestyle. There was a “doing” that flowed out of a “being.”
Being…
- still
- quiet
- in study
- in meditation
- in prayer
- in love
We never say “doing love,” do we? We say “being in love” to denote a state of existence.
Book Review: “On Holiday with God” by Sue Pickering
When Vicar Sarah returned from retreat, I asked how it all went. She said that she went on holiday with God and referenced a book called On Holiday with God by New Zealand author Sue Pickering.
Sharon and I were about to go on a brief holiday, so I borrowed the book and off God, Sharon, and I went to Kakahi in the middle of the North Island of New Zealand. This was to be a winter holiday with bike riding, bush walks, and reading in front of a lovely warm fire. The background music of our holiday with God was bleating goats, a distant train, a trickling stream, and a crackling fire.
What is the Book About?
It’s helpful that this is a small book. Who needs to take an enormous, hard-to-read book away on holiday? (Ok, I know some of you will.) At 144 pages, it’s slim and easy to throw in a backpack. It’s also very easy to read, and you don’t have to read all of it. The author encourages you to pick a theme.
A Look Inside the Chapters
Introduction
1. Preparing for your holiday with God
Common questions covering:
- Selecting a retreat venue
- Embracing solitude and silence
- Selfishness or self-care
- Finding a gentle rhythm
- Opening to God’s work in you
2. Making the most of your time with God
- Arranging prayer support
- Introducing contemplation
- Praying with Scripture – lectio divina
- Praying with Scripture – imaginative prayer
- Keeping a spiritual journal
- Reviewing the day
3. Setting off and settling in
- The retreat begins as soon as you leave home
- Arriving and slowing down
- Being guided by the Spirit
- Resistance
- Tears and dancing
- Dreaming
4. Opening and daily prayers
5. Themed resources for your personal retreat
- At the lake’s edge – developing trust
- Waiting – learning to ‘be still’
- In the marketplace – setting priorities
- On the water – dealing with fear
- Gallery or garden – appreciating beauty
- Walking – making a pilgrimage
- Being adventurous – risk-taking
- Anywhere – meeting the marginalized
- Facing the unexpected – suffering
- Eating together – growing in intimacy
- By the pool – opening to healing
- On the mountain top – choosing to listen
6. Closing liturgy and prayer: Gathering the gifts of the retreat
7. Home-going and continuing on ‘The Way’
Choosing a Theme
I looked over the themes and couldn’t decide which one to choose, so I closed my eyes and poked my finger at the page. Under my finger lay these words: Being adventurous—risk taking.
I have never considered myself a huge risk taker or adventurous. I’m more of a saying “No” than saying “Yes” kind of person, even though I have done some quite adventuresome things at times.
This holiday was also our first wedding anniversary. We both had decided on an adventure, taking a risk. A year ago we said “I do” to the call of “Be we.”
Sharon is much more the adventurous type. She has cycled the length of New Zealand, swims long distances, and paddleboards. I would much rather be on the couch with a book than on the sea with a paddle. So the theme of being adventurous and risk-taking was an invitation to get uncomfortable—to say “Yes” where I would normally say “No.”
On our little holiday with God, we decided to do some adventurous things. Every time I felt my “No, I’d much rather do a less active activity” sentence sneak in, I would say “Yes.”
We went on bike rides through wet mountain forests, hiked through the bush, and even took the wrong track and had to double back. The environment we went into had its risks. We called into an information centre and on the desk was a sign saying you could hire your satellite location beacon there. We didn’t.
Little by Little
Risk taking, I have found personally, is best done little by little. A theme throughout Turning the Page is millimetre ministry. It’s in the millimetres of change that we find real progress.
The author concludes her section on “Being adventurous – risk-taking” with this paragraph:
“Little by little we can learn to live God’s instruction, ‘to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly’ with our God (Micah 6:8b), even if, like the merchant who sold all he had to buy the pearl of great price, this means taking a risk, ignoring conventional wisdom, setting aside the approval of others and our own personal comfort, so that the kingdom of heaven may increase.” — Sue Pickering
I have, too, found that risk-taking often means:
- Ignoring conventional wisdom
- Setting aside the approval of others
- Setting aside our own personal comfort
Step Out of Your Door
As I was preparing to come home, I remembered this quote from J.R.R. Tolkien:
“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” — J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
So, before you go out your door, you might like to get a copy of On Holiday with God – A Companion and Guide.
Deepening the Retreat: Quotes to Consider
“Jesus needed to withdraw from the crowds clamouring for healing so he could spend time with his Father in heart-to-heart prayer, and be resourced for the new day and its demands. If the Son of God took this time apart for his own spiritual health and strengthening, we can do no less.” — Sue Pickering
“Solitude’s consort is silence, perhaps the most challenging aspect of making a retreat. Many of us live and work in the context of constant man-made noise. Exterior silence is hard enough to find in an urban setting, but even in a remote location there will be sound: birdsong, the murmur of streams, the roar of the sea, the wildness or whisper of wind as creation celebrates its life. On retreat it is interior silence or stillness which is often a struggle for us, habituated as we are to our interior chatter. Slowing down this personal flow of thoughts is part of the process of settling into our holiday with God, so our mind can be quietly receptive to God’s ‘still, small voice’.” — Sue Pickering
Further Reading
- Millimetre Ministry: Small Steps to Recovery
- Mental Health is Learning to Listen for the Whispers
- The Cup: Paying Attention to What Fills and Drains
Barry Pearman
