Feeling broken inside? Discover the birth pangs metaphor from Romans 8 and find hope in the sacred waiting between now and not yet.
I’ve felt a groan recently. A groan that is happening right now. A groan that longs for something more.
I hear it in the conversations I have. I read it in the emails people send me. It usually boils down to one heavy, painful question: “Why do I feel so broken inside?”
We look around, and we see suffering everywhere. Anxiety and depression. Grief and loss. Confusion and despair. We feel the weight of it in our bones, and we wonder why the pieces of our lives just don’t seem to fit.
If you are asking yourself why you feel so broken today, I want you to know something vital: you are not crazy, and you are not unloved. You are experiencing what I call the “inner groan.”
The groan of the now and the not yet.
I believe that making sense of suffering is one of the hardest challenges that we ever have to face. We all have this archetypal smell of Eden’s perfection still lingering in our nostrils. We know a taste of joy, we know something of love, but we also know the harsh reality of the now. The truth is, we are a long way away from Eden.
How are you at handling suffering? How is your inner groan today?
The Metaphor of the Birth Pang
It is incredibly exciting when a couple discovers they are about to have a child. An explosion of cellular growth begins inside the woman’s body. Nothing is really seen for a little while, but then clothes get tight as the body expands to make room for new life.
It’s exciting, but as the months go on, a groan comes. A change in body shape happens. Clothes don’t fit anymore. The body aches. The waiting stretches out. How much longer until the child comes? Due dates come and go.
The Apostle Paul uses this metaphor of childbirth to capture the very space we — and all of creation — are enveloped in right now:
That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times.The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next.Everything in creation is being more or less held back.God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
All around us we observe a pregnant creation.
The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs [groans].But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs [groans].These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning [groaning] for full deliverance.That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
When you ask, “Why do I feel so broken inside?”, this is the spiritual reality.
All of creation is pregnant with something better than what we have now. We are in a transitional place of waiting. We groan together in the “now,” and look forward to the “not yet.”
You Are Not Alone in the Brokenness
What do you do with the now?
I have things in my life that I groan about. You do, too. Do we bottle them up and pretend they don’t exist? Do we explode and blame everyone else for the pain? Or do we accept the groan and join in with the ache of others?
We don’t want a self-absorbed pity party. But this is a time when we are to look to each other and say something like “You are not alone in this pregnancy groan.”
I once heard my father groan. Seeing a man groan is a deeply unforgettable experience; men are so often told to be stoic and strong. But my father joined his groan with mine as we buried an unborn child.
Feeling broken is not a sign of weakness. It is a profound expression of connection to the realness of a broken world. We groan together and we give birth to something new.
Presence and vision
When there is a groan, we are to offer presence and hold on to vision.
Presence so that the other knows they are not alone. Their story matters. It has value.
I will weep when you are weeping
But we are also to hold on to a compelling vision of what might be on the other side of the groan. We look beyond the groan to a vision of might just be possible. A new creation.
What are you groaning about?
What are you yearning for?
If you are tired of carrying the weight alone, let’s take a millimeter step forward together.
Perhaps you would like to email me. Here are the contact details.
I groan. I wait.
I wait
I watch
I groan and long for
I have the beginning notes
Eternal symphonic score
When will you come?
Fulfil creations hope
Groaning and longing we wait
More of you to know
Waiting for full adoption
Family perfect connection
We cry ‘Abba’ Papa
Intimate love reflection
Now I taste a little
A sunrise beauties sweep
Colours never seen before
Wake me after sleep
I groan and wait
Waiting for full adoption
Come fill my deepest longings
Birth your new creation
Quotes to consider
- The journey to God will always, at some point, take us through darkness where life makes no sense. Life isn’t easy; it’s hard, sometimes very hard. Larry Crabb Shattered Dreams
- Most of us are spared life-wrenching tragedy, but none of us escapes the heartache of living in a fallen world. Dan Allender
- Supernatural goals need supernatural resources. Dr. Larry Crabb
- The greatest blessing is no longer the blessing of a good life. It never was. It is now the blessing of an encounter with God. It always has been. Larry Crabb Shattered Dreams
- Our shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story. Pain is a tragedy. But it’s never only a tragedy. For the Christian, it’s always a necessary mile on the long journey to joy. Larry Crabb Shattered Dreams
Further reading
- Who Will Wipe Away My Tears? Divine Comfort in Our Brokenness — Discover comfort in your pain. Explore how God meets us in our tears with gentleness, making all things new through divine compassion.
- When the Lesser Dreams Get Shattered — It was a dream, but now it was shattered. Perhaps a new dream was to be discovered, and so we dug deep into what truly mattered.
- Does Having Depression Mean I Lack Faith? — Is depression caused by a lack of faith? Find hope through grace and self-compassion, leaving toxic church shame behind.
- The Slow Dance of Grief: Passing Through What Was — Grief is the full-body experience of processing what was. Explore how to navigate loss, the stages of grief, and finding hope in God.
- Slowing the Pendulum: Finding Rest for an Anxious Mind — Is your mind swinging between despair and fear? Discover how to slow the pendulum of your thoughts and find the “stillness of wholeness” in Christ.
- Find Refuge from the Pain of Being Put to Shame — Being put to shame makes us feel deeply flawed. Find out how to escape the pain of harsh comparisons and find a safe refuge of hope.
Barry Pearman
