Grief Archives

Finding a Lifeline in the Quicksand of Estrangement

Stuck in the quicksand of estrangement? Discover how one mother moved from the agony of ambiguous grief to a miraculous relationship renewal. This is a guest post by Peggy Phillips who wrote Coping with Ambiguous Loss by Estrangement After my son went no contact, the quicksand of estrangement engulfed every part […]

Getting Well Staying Well Mental health

Who will wipe away tears

The tears start to form and flow, but who will wipe away my tears? A soft and gentle hand comes with tenderness to the pain. I could feel them start to congregate right in the corners of my eyes. They were coming together, and I had no control over them. […]

Getting Well Staying Well Spiritual Formation

Why Was I Even Born?

When you’ve hit the brick wall, the question may arise. Why was I even born? But over time, new depth may come through. A new birth may evolve. I want you to imagine that you have a bungee cord tied around your waist. You are flying through the air, and […]

Getting Well Staying Well

I Curse The Day I Was Born

We can get angry to the point where we want to curse the day we were born, but being held in our anger allows us to go through and not around the pain. It was about time they got angry. As the words vomited at me, through me, and around […]

Helping Others Spiritual Formation

Sitting Shiva is to say ‘I am with you’

Grief is hard, but grieving alone can be a torment of anguish, so we sit with the broken; we are silent and Shiva to the tears. When my father cried loud and hard, I experienced a kind of solidarity in my grief. A child had died, and a funeral was […]

Faith & Mental Health

When they say ‘Curse God and Die’

People can say some harsh things to us, but when someone close says ‘Curse God and Die’ you have to go to a deeper place of faith than they possibly have. I was watching him wilt. He was once like a flourishing plant, enjoying water and sun and growing and […]

Mental health Spiritual Formation

To Reap in Joy you Need to Sow in Tears. Psalm 126

The only way there is through. To reap a joy, we sow a tear, but it’s work, hard work, so we don’t travel alone. We journey with safe others. I knew there had to be an ocean of loss behind the lifestyle mask they were wearing. For all the stories […]

Mental health Relationships Spiritual Formation

A Time to Grieve and A Time to Prepare

Grief and loss are always on the horizon, but we can prepare to grieve well. This can help with the grief we are carrying now. I am pruning roses at the moment. It’s winter here in New Zealand as I write this post, and one of my tasks every winter […]

Getting Well Staying Well Mental health

It’s OK to be sad. There is a Grace Offered

A feeling of being sad is something that everyone experiences. Sadness needs to be validated as being real and OK. Life hurts at times, and if we don’t embrace the pain, then we can miss a grace offered. Permission to be sad ‘I give you permission to feel sad.’ It […]

four-signs-that-you-have-truly-forgiven-and-youre-not-stuffing-it-down

Mental health Relationships

Four Signs you have Truly Forgiven and You’re not Stuffing it Down

How can a person know when they have truly forgiven someone else. What is the difference between true forgiveness and simply stuffing down or sweeping under the rug your feelings? It is tempting for Christians to try to forgive quickly in order to ease their minds and resolve the conflict. […]