So many people avoid being part of a Church service because it just makes them feel uncomfortable. Feelings of anxiety, panic, and being judged are just some of the challenges.
Yet they have a deep desire to be part of a worshipping community. They want to know God and they want to form relationships with others, but barriers and roadblocks exist.
Here are just a few barriers that I have encountered, and perhaps you would like to add a few in the comments section below.
12 Common Barriers to Attending a Church Service
1. Judgemental Teaching: “I fear that I am going to be made to feel guilty.”
2. Clothing: “They all dress better than me.”
3. Concentration: “I just can’t concentrate for the length of the service.”
4. The Sermon: “It’s too long and words are used that I just don’t understand.”
5. Habits: “I smoke (or drink or…) and they are so perfect, they wouldn’t accept me.”
6. Anxiety: “I can’t sit still, I pace, I will just disturb others and draw attention to myself.”
7. Money: “They are always asking for money and I don’t have any. It makes me feel guilty that I can’t give when the offering plate comes round.”
8. Relationships: “I know people in that Church and they know me, perhaps they will gossip about me.”
9. God Stuff: “Does God really love me? I have done some really bad stuff. There is no way anyone would accept me.”
10. Illness Misunderstandings: “They think my illness is all due to some sin in my life, some demons, some lack of will power or faith. Does God think this?”
11. Crowd Size: “Too many people too close, I don’t like being so close to others.”
12. Hygiene: “I can’t afford soap and deodorants so I smell, people won’t like that.”
I could keep writing many more examples, all of which are valid to the mind of the person experiencing them.
How to Deal with Church Anxiety: 10 Practical Ideas
If you want to find a Christian community but find the Sunday morning experience overwhelming, you do not have to jump into the deep end right away. Try these 10 steps to ease your anxiety.
Redefine What “Church” Means
1. Shift your mindset. Change your belief that “Church” is strictly a building or a specific time on Sunday. Church is ultimately about a Christ-centered relationship with others.
2. Start small. Find just two or three other people you can trust. Meet in a cafe or a home to read the Bible, pray, and listen to each other.
Test the Waters Safely
3. Scope it out online. Check the church’s website, Facebook page, or YouTube livestream first. This lets you see the vibe, the dress code, and the teaching style from the comfort of your home.
4. Do a drive-by observation. Sit outside in your car before a service and watch people coming and going. Are they wearing casual clothes? Are there families, singles, or people with disabilities? Do they look friendly, or do they look rigid?
5. Talk to a leader. Reach out to a church staff member online or via phone. Explain your difficulties and ask how they accommodate people with anxiety. Their reaction will tell you instantly if it’s the right church for you.
Strategies for Attending the Service
6. Have a church buddy. Find a trusted friend to go with you. Having someone to sit with and reassure you can cut your anxiety in half.
7. Arrive late and leave early. If the pre-service mingling or loud worship music triggers your panic, slip in right as the sermon starts and slip out before the closing prayer. You won’t be the only one doing this!
8. Choose an end seat near the back. Sitting at the end of a row near the back exit gives you an easy escape route to pace or smoke a cigarette if it all gets to be too much.
9. Ask for sermon notes. If you struggle to concentrate, ask if the church provides printed sermon notes or outlines so you can read them at your own pace later.
10. Don’t worry about the big words. If the preacher uses complex theology words you don’t know, don’t sweat it. Ask someone later—chances are, they might not know either!
What Are Your Thoughts?
Every single one of these fears is valid to the person experiencing them. But fear doesn’t have to keep you isolated from God’s community.
Do you struggle with church anxiety? What barriers have you faced, or what tips have helped you slip back into fellowship? Let me know in the comments below!
Further Reading
- Do you have Church Anxiety?
- Yes. A Christian can have a Mental Illness
- Good Conversations don’t leave you Feeling Judged
- How to Overcome Anxiety Through Solidarity: I Am With You
- A Church for the Little Ones
Barry Pearman
Photo Credit: meg’s my name via Compfight cc
