Stop feeling overwhelmed by life’s “giants.” Learn how small, intentional actions and a simple problem-solving sheet can reduce anxiety.
Do you ever feel that your problems are too huge to be solved?
That the mountain is, or at least feels, unsurmountable.
Past experiences can wire your brain to look out for trouble coming, even if there isn’t any.
Fear can keep us locked into a sense of hopelessness.
‘Why bother’ bolts us to the floor.
Have you ever had problems like that?
Jesus said, ‘In this world you will have troubles,’ and you know it..
It’s all about giants
When I was a kid, I used to hear stories, and many of them included a giant.
My favourite children’s story is Badjelly the Witch, and in the story there is a giant called Dullboot.
Dullboot was as big as a house. He had purple hair and ten eyes all around his head so he could see if he had pimples on his back. Spike Milligan
The downfall of Dullboot was a little mouse called Dingle.
Dingle mouse jumped on the giant, nibbled his belt, and down came the giant’s trousers.
‘Oh, oh help’ said the Giant.
‘Im showing my bare bottom’ and he ran away to bare-bottomed land. Spike Milligan
Even now, as an adult, I still love that line about running away to bare-bottomed land.
Even giants can get embarrassed.
Little mice take down big giants
Spike Milligan had Dingle mouse.
C.S. Lewis had Reepicheep.
What I have found is that the little mice, the little actions, take down the biggest giants in our lives.
When we take action, when we focus on what’s within our control and have a plan, that is when the giant of fear loses its strength.
It’s the small that overcomes the large, and it’s the repeated habit of doing small things well that takes down the biggest of problems.
Little by little.
In the Bible there is the story of when God was bringing the People of Israel into their promised land.
This was a huge challenge.
It was not going to be a walk in the park.
They faced incredible obstacles.
The answer was to do it little by little, establish themselves in the new place, then tackle the next problem little by little.
I will not drive them out from before you in one year, or the land would become desolate and the wild animals would multiply against you. Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased and possess the land. Exodus 23:29-30
Whether it’s an addiction, a financial problem, or an illness.
We take little steps, quietly celebrate the change, establish ourselves in the new habit, then take the next little by little step.
God wasn’t going to wave some ‘magic wand’.
This was to be a learning experience of trusting in the small to overcome the large.
I call it ‘millimetre ministry’
The trick is to tackle the smallest giant first.
To discover what that small giant is, it’s often a case of sifting through the mess and finding something highly achievable to send off to ‘bare bottomed land’
For this, I use a problem solving sheet
Problem solving sheet
When I was back working full time as a mental health support worker, one of the tools I had in my toolkit was a problem solving sheet.
Someone would present me a problem such as, ‘I need to get to a job interview at 10 am tomorrow morning.’
The easy answer was to say, ‘I can take you’.
But this could create a dependency on me or others to ‘solve the problem’ for them instead of empowering them to take responsibility for themselves and solve it themselves.
I wanted to foster interdependency rather than dependency.
So I would pull out a problem solving sheet.
This is best done with say a group of supporters so that fresh ideas can be generated
Using a Problem solving sheet
1. Identify the Problem.
This is probably the trickiest part of the process.
We often have so many problems that it’s hard to choose which one to tackle first.
It might be helpful to list them all out and rate them each on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being a problem causing the most stress.
You can always come back to the other problems later.
As you go through the process, you may well have to redefine the problem as more information comes to light.
Getting to the appointment tomorrow morning at 10am
2. Generate Possible Solutions.
List all the possible solutions; don’t worry about the quality of the solutions at this stage.
Don’t discount anything.
Try to list ten solutions so that you are forced to be creative.
If creativity and fun are encouraged, new solutions may often appear that no one would have thought of.
The brain needs permission to explore. So include all ideas, even ‘bad’ or ‘silly’ suggestions. Get everyone to suggest something.
DO NOT talk about whether ideas are good or bad at this stage. We don’t want to shut down people’s creativity.
Call a taxi
Ask neighbour who goes to work nearby
Walk
Ride your bike
Book an Uber
Take the bus
Ask the local helicopter company to drop by and pick you up
3. Evaluate alternatives.
Get the group to say what they think are the main advantages and disadvantages of each suggestion. Start by considering the positive aspects of each solution and then the negative.
Do not write these comments down.
It is just a general discussion.
4. Decide on a Solution.
Choose the solution that can be carried out most easily with the resources (time, skills, materials, money, etc.) that you have at present.
This could be a solution from the list developed or a combination of some of the ideas suggested.
Solution: Ask my neighbour for a ride
5. Plan exactly how to carry out the solution.
Write down the solution as clearly as possible.
List out what needs to be done and by when. Organize how to get anything that is needed to solve the problem.
Consider how to cope with likely hitches.
Practice any difficult steps.
Set a Date and time to review how progress is going with the plan
Plan
Practice what you are going to say
Hi Jenny, I need to get to a job interview tomorrow at 10am. It is located very close to where you work. Would you be able to take me? I can give you $5 to help with petrol’
Go next door and ask
If they say no, then option B will be to take the bus.
Arrange a time to review the plan
Review of the plan in 5 hours time. Jasmine will call Jennifer at 5pm.
6. Review progress in carrying out the plan.
Praise all the efforts people have made.
Do a quick review, making sure you praise any effort made to solve the problem.
You’ve got to accentuate the positive.
This is not a time to play the blame and shame game.
This is a time to review and possibly problem solve any issues that have arisen.
The existing plan may need to be revised or a new plan made.
Using this method we scale down the giants. We break them down to small steps. Steps that are highly achieveable.
Anxiety is reduced because we ground ourselves in the present and what can be achieved.
Get a copy of Solving Problems and Achieving Goals here.
Quotes to consider
I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail. Abraham Maslow
We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them. Albert Einstein
If you choose not to deal with an issue, then you give up your right of control over the issue, and it will select the path of least resistance. Susan Del Gatto
We always hope for the easy fix: the one simple change that will erase a stroke problem. But few things in life work this way. Instead, success requires making a hundred small steps go right – one after the other, no slip-ups, no goofs, and everyone pitching in. Atul Gawande
A problem well put is half solved. John Dewey
A sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem. Malcolm S. Forbes
Questions to answer
- Consider this statement. ‘What gets your attention, gets you’. What gets your attention and you would rather it not?
- What sort of birds live where you live? How much time do you give them?
- What experiences of nature can you mindfully enjoy today where you live?
Formation exercise
Make an appointment with yourself this week to spend one hour in a ‘look and consider’ experience of connecting with nature. Focus all your attention on that bird, flower, lily, stream, mountain, etc.
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Barry Pearman
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