6 Things I Have Noticed About People Who Recover From Mental Illness

Want to change?

Most people want to change without having to do the work. Give me the pill, wave the magic wand, say “abra ka dabra,” and then everything changes.

I don’t believe that mental health miracles happen overnight. Change and recovery take work and time.

In those who do make great strides in personal development—and especially in recovery from mental illness—I have noticed that they share six crucial habits that empower their change. These are activities that they repeat over and over again, so that step by step, millimeter by millimeter, and day by day, the brain changes and recovery is empowered.

You don’t have to have a mental illness for these to be life-changing. Anyone can apply these and see steady change occur.

6 Things Noticed About People Who Change and Recover

1. They make their bed every morning.

What? Seriously? Making your bed can change your life?

I picked this up from a talk by Admiral William H. McRaven, where he related the process of training U.S. Navy SEALs. Every morning, Navy SEALs have to make their beds perfectly. Every morning they start with purpose. They don’t drift into the day, but rather they start with a drilled-in positive habit.

Quotes to Consider

• “If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day, it will give you a small sense of pride and will encourage you to another task and another and another. By the end of the day that one task completed will turn into many tasks completed.” — Admiral William H. McRaven
• “Making your bed will also reinforce that the little things in life matter. If you can never do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. If by chance you have a miserable day then you’ll come home to a bed that is made. That you made. A made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.” — Admiral William H. McRaven

There are habits that will set yourself up for the day. It doesn’t have to be exactly making your bed, but this sure helps. It may be other day-starting habits like planning, meditating, praying, or reading.

• It’s starting the day with intention.
• It’s saying to the brain, “Here is the starting line, let’s do it.”

2. They make a bed for someone else.

Ok, I am playing with you on this one. I don’t mean for you to go around making other people’s beds. They need to make their own!

What I am talking about here is fruitful labour. It means finding something to do that has value to you. It may be paid employment, but it doesn’t have to be.

It’s finding that activity where you serve. It could be picking up rubbish on the sidewalk, and in so doing, you silently serve your community.

• It’s doing something so that at the end of the day, when you climb into your made bed, you can say “I gave” without any expectation of return.
• It means living with an external focus rather than an internal “it’s all about me” focus.
• Sitting on your butt, smoking, and drinking coffee all day will not help you to recover.

People who recover find an outlet, a place to contribute to society, and a meaning for their existence. Paid or unpaid, it doesn’t matter. It’s an activity that you find value in that adds to others.

3. They get angry.

I’m not talking about walking around being abusive and violent.

What I am saying is that people who recover have an inner resolve in them that they are not just going to let life happen to them. They are going to take life on and attack it with all they can muster.

They turn all the energy they can into making life change. They live on purpose, not on a possibility. Read more about this in my post: I’m so angry that I’m going to…

4. They become passionate learners.

People who recover are passionate learners. They read, listen, and hunt for wisdom. They want to devour knowledge and apply it to their lives.

They form habits which enable their learning:

• They go to the library and borrow books from friends (and return them).
• They listen to podcasts and take classes.
• They battle self-defeating attitudes and beliefs that echo in the brain about not being able to learn.
• If they have trouble reading, they take literacy courses or get audiobooks, and they journal their discoveries.

Brick by brick, the foundation of change takes place, helping the spongy grey matter of the brain to build new neurons and grow.

5. They set realistic goals.

Goals—ah, that word brings back memories of sitting with people while a bright, young Community Support Worker says, “Now we need to set some goals.” I recall observing the “client” silently groaning within as the cycle is repeated yet again by a fresh young thing straight out of college wanting to save the world.

Putting this echoing memory to the side for a moment, it is important to set goals. The key to setting and achieving goals is that they must be significant to you. They must have value and importance to you. They can’t just be a “tick the box” activity for another person; they must be owned by you completely.

A great way to set goals is to look back into recent history, such as the past week, and consider what gave you that sense of fruitfulness—an achievement that for you was significant. Then add 10%.

So, if reading for 30 minutes last week gave you a great boost, do it again this week, but this time add 10%. Read for another 5 minutes—something realistic that you know you can achieve. Try it, and let me know if it helps. Over time, using this method of adding 10% can genuinely change your beliefs about yourself and radically empower growth.

6. They make STAN plans.

This is a little method I learned from the story of Daniel in the Bible. In the story, Daniel was in a crisis and was having to make some difficult choices. So, he made a plan to achieve his goal.

Stan Plans are:

• Simple: Easy to understand by all. Everybody involved knows what is going to happen. It is not pages of detail; it may just be a simple sentence.
• Timed: Set for a review. The plan has a specific timeframe to run before it is evaluated.
• Aimed: Focused on something of deep value. The plan targets achieving something deeply important to the people involved.
• Negotiated: Created with key others. Our plans will always involve others to help make them work, so we need to consult with them to see if they are on board.

Having a plan empowers the brain to embrace the changes you are making. I wrote a series of blog posts about this, and you can find them here: Lessons Daniel Taught Me About Achieving Goals.

So there you are. Six keys to change, but they all require one thing: You have to choose to do them. Simple!

Question to Consider

• What for you, from the list above, would be the most difficult to achieve? Why?

Further Reading

• Lessons Daniel Taught Me About Achieving Goals (Part 1)
• I’m So Angry That I’m Going To…
• Why Paul’s Fruitful Labour is a Great Antidote to Suicide

Barry Pearman

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash