One failure in life seems to collect another failure, but love can cut through any collection of failures. We need to listen for the shame that has been collected then meet it with heartwarming arms. If you can talk about failure, you can talk about anything. As he opened up […]
forgiveness
When we are loyal to our lies, we are like an emperor in undies. Delusions believed as truth will destroy. We need to be open to others gently telling us when we have been conned. One of my favorite stories from Hans Christian Andersen is “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” Here […]
Life’s not fair, and there is mystery involved. When we know there is a bigger story going on then perhaps grace can heal the wounds. It was always the same conversation. Life’s not fair. They didn’t just carry a chip on their shoulder, it was a gigantic log, and it […]
When we have realistic expectations, we can build resilience and an internal wisdom that is gentle with our humanity. We can grace ourselves and others when there is a failure to meet expectations. What caused the breakdown? Was it a genetic weakness? The piling up of expectations? Lack of sleep, […]
There is a time for everything, but wallowing in your past will create an endless rut of misery. Isn’t it time to allow God, who knows all, to take the unknowns and allow you to walk in today? I always like a good wallow, don’t you? It’s like a warm, […]
Developing a relationship with God where we feel loved and graced upon is the most precious gift you can give your mental health. Rules and regulations without relationship will only lead to rebellion and resentment. Grace and forgiveness bring healing. Isn’t it interesting how early experiences shape your view of life […]
Are you struggling to forgive yourself or others? The bookkeeper keeps score and builds a case against yourself and others. Let’s banish the bookkeeper. Underneath the kitchen bench in my childhood home was a drawer where we kept scissors, pens, paper, and the red Collins ledger book. My mother would […]
Been sold the lie that you’re a wretch? Self-compassion absorbs the failures and forgives the self. It says you’re doing ok and that you’re loved. I have probably sung into my soul ‘a wretch like me’ over a hundred times. The hymn ‘Amazing Grace’ is the most well-known hymn we have. […]
Forgiveness cleanses the toxic places in our hearts. Those dumping grounds where we hold onto the resentments and hurts. “We throw all of the garbage we can’t burn or compost, like oil or old lead paint, over the hill in the back” she said to me. “But…then you can’t use […]
How can a person know when they have truly forgiven someone else. What is the difference between true forgiveness and simply stuffing down or sweeping under the rug your feelings? It is tempting for Christians to try to forgive quickly in order to ease their minds and resolve the conflict. […]
To ‘Walk the extra mile’ is not about being generous, or servanthood. It’s about flipping the power dynamics and creating a sense of fear and uncertainty. Have you ever heard someone say ‘They walked the extra mile’? We link this little phrase with the idea that this person did more […]
Giving the ‘shirt off your back’ is not an invitation to more abuse. It is a subtle expression of self-worth and can confuse and shame the bully. Have you ever tried to challenge someone’s behavior, and it just gets thrown back at you? You may feel like you are being […]
Harsh words and rough hands can abuse but are we meant to turn the other cheek and accept the abuse. No, we are to grow in dignity. She had given into the bully 365 times too many. She had been cheek-slapped all of the marriage. For him, he had accepted […]
Harvey didn’t quite know what to make of the whole noise and hubbub happening outside his hermit cave. He had run from all the scandal, and now he was out in the desert looking after a bunch of smelly sheep. Others too were joining him. All clothed in rags and […]
The shame of an attempt at suicide can cling onto you like the odor of some dirty old socks. You would do anything to get rid of that stench. Is that a good description of shame? That feeling of embarrassment at what you have done. You want to hide, run, cover it […]
You think you have forgiven, but now and then anger bubbles up. You try and stuff it back in its box, but you know that its whisper is still fuming around your heart. Perhaps you need to discover compassion. A step that is unusual and not what you naturally want […]
Confession can take the pressure off ourselves and give an opportunity for harmony to come into our relationships. Six things we need to learn about confession for our Mental Health. ‘I need help with my husband, wife, child, friend.’ The thought of living in harmony with others sounds idealistic and […]
‘Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me’ is a fallacy. Words can hurt. They can cut right to the core of your being and can echo around and around in your mind and drive you to despair. Just think of the abuse of text bullying. […]
Sometimes I think I am like a cow. I ruminate over things, chewing my thoughts this way and that. Trying to extract something good out of them. Much of my life I have worked on farms, I even have a University Degree in Agriculture. I humorously call this my first […]
If you’re digging for dirt, you’re always going to find it, and you’re always going to overlook the gold. I was watching one of the many T.V. cop shows the other night and they were ‘digging for dirt’. The detectives were scouring over the history of a suspect looking […]