Quick answer: When someone won’t listen to another opinion, arguing rarely helps. A simple pen-and-paper exercise called “two trees” — where you and the other person each draw a tree, then notice that both are valid even though they look different — can open a locked mindset by making the […]
Listening
18 posts
It’s a place of desperation. I need God’s help, but where are you, God? I’m tired, in pain, broken, alone and lost. I want the struggle to be over. Right here and now. I’ve been judged, and the stones are being thrown. I’ve judged myself, and I’m drowning in guilt […]
We place value on things such as beauty, strength, power and riches, but there is something more valuable. I want wisdom more than silver, gold, and rubies. I couldn’t believe it. I was doing some research for this post and found that there is a website where you can measure […]
Feeling judged can make you want to hide. Why put yourself out there if people are going to judge you? What you want is a good conversation. They didn’t have the conversation because they knew they would feel judged. Feelings of being dismissed, ridiculed, ‘shot-down’, laughed at, mocked would […]
There is an internal world to every one of us with words that need sharing, but it’s hard to put into words, so we need someone safe to help us. They wanted him to tell them what was going on inside, but it felt more like he was in the […]
Turmoil – a state of unease, disquiet, and storm, but what if you weren’t alone in that drowning boat? We need a confidant to share the storm with. Often people say that life is like a rollercoaster ride. Ups and downs, highs and lows. But I think life is more […]
Safe places and safe people ask good questions that may not feel safe at all, but they have goodness flowing through them. In short: A genuinely safe place isn’t one where you’re never challenged — it’s one where you’re never condemned. True emotional safety comes from unhurried listening, gentle curiosity, […]
Confusion can tear our lives apart, but perhaps a dream can clarify. For Joseph, a dream tipped the balance to trust a Christmas mystery. Have you ever felt like your brain is caught in a tug of war? You are pulled and torn in different directions. Your values, rules, expectations, […]
You have a story. You are a story. To receive a story is to listen to the white space between the words. I hear stories every day. You do too. But there are some stories I hear where I sense I am on sacred ground. It’s when you feel that […]
There was a single tear, and I knew we were on sacred ground, but there was a decision to be made. I chose to linger and listen. I was talking with a man in his eighties the other day when I noticed a tear forming in his eye. I knew […]