Where Are You Now?

Where are you now?

Erik Fisher and Jim Woods have just written a wonderful book on goal setting. Erik has a truly brilliant podcast called ‘Beyond the To Do List’.

The first chapter asks the question.

Where are you now?

The point he is making is that in order to get somewhere, achieve some goals etc. you actually have to be fully aware of the reality of the current situation. Where is your starting point.

Of course some current points of reality are very easy to measure. Your bank balance, your weight, cholesterol level etc. All of these involve numbers and some measuring tool. The scales never lie!

Yesterday at Balcony we were talking about how it is easy to lay down expectations on others or to try and live up to others expectations without an honest appreciation of the reality of the situation. e.g… a mum of 4 preschoolers expecting to have a 2 hour quiet time, lead a small group etc. It just ain’t going to happen.

Are you appreciating the reality you are living in? Are you measuring yourself against someone elses measures of perfection?

Recently I listened to a fabulous podcast interview with Jean Vanier. The podcast is On Being with Krista Tippett.

Here are some quotes.

We are very fragile in front of the future. Accidents and sicknesses is the reality. We are born in extreme weakness and our life will end in extreme weakness. So this, people don’t want to hold on to that. They want to prove something. They want security. They want to have big bank accounts and all that sort of stuff. But then also, hold lots of fears within us. Jean Vanier

As we share our lives with the powerless, we are obliged to leave behind our theories about the world, our dreams and our beautiful thoughts about God, to become grounded in a reality that can be quite harsh. Jean Vanier

The reality of every day is sometimes quite painful in the smallness in a world where people are being pushed to pretend that they’re big. Jean Vanier

I have my weaknesses and I have my fragility, physical ailments of the heart, I have to take things quietly. And intellectually, I get tired much more quickly. So it’s just the acceptance of reality. And you see, the big thing for me is to love reality and not live in the imagination, not live in what could have been or what should have been or what can be to this reality, and somewhere to love reality and then discover that God is present in the reality. That doesn’t mean to say that we’re just to be passive to welcome reality, because we also have to know how to react in front of reality. Jean Vanier

Reality is a beautiful reality, but how to just to live that reality and live it with my own body, my own weaknesses, my own need for greater sleep, to get to sleep after lunch and all the rest of — and this is my reality. And I know that in so many years’, time — would it be five years —I might be in a wheelchair, or whatever it is. Jean Vanier

What is your reality truly and honestly like?

**A feature I have seen over and over again in Mental Illness is either not embracing the reality of the illness or an over embracing of the illness.**

The fairy tale of living outwardly a mask of everything is okay. Pretending that an illness is not there.

I wonder whether a hype based spirituality assists a disconnect with reality?

Then there are those that over embrace the illness. The illness becomes their identity and in some cases their medal of honour. Victim hood and being stuck in negative thought patterns traps the person in an unreality.

How do you embrace the reality of an illness without it drowning you?

Stop, pause, be silent, be still. As Gandhi has said ‘There is more to life than increasing its speed’ so just stop for a moment and be still.
Embrace God’s real time vision of you. The reality of your relationship with God is that God both loves and is with you. As Jean Vanier states ‘God is present in the reality’
Acknowledge the reality of both your strengths and weaknesses. They are there and thats ok.
Ask safe others for a reality check up of your strengths and weaknesses.
Stop ‘Shoulding over yourself’ and replace the ‘should’ with ‘could’.
Hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection.
Review your relationships as to whether they help you or hinder you embracing reality.
Start each day as a fresh beginning.

Every journey begins where you are. So where are you?

Ok, I’m off to check my bank balance.

Questions to consider and leave a comment

Why do people avoid reality?
What examples can you give where people have projected unrealistic expectations on to you?
What makes a person safe enough for you to ask them for a reality check?

Did you find this post helpful? (Barry asking for reality check here)