People can say some harsh things to us, but when someone close says “Curse God and die,” you have to go to a deeper place of faith than they possibly have.
I was watching him wilt. He was once like a flourishing plant, enjoying water and sun, growing and giving out beauty. But now the water had dried up, the sun beat down like a torturer, and the once gentle winds were hammering and stripping him down to a skeleton.
Who will come
To the aid
Of a man like me
Who will come
to a man of poverty
Who will rescue the ship
From the wayward sea
Who will come
To a man like me — Derek Lind
On This Page
- Shooting the Wounded: Why We Blame Suffering on Sin
- The Whiplash of the Tongue: Job’s Story
- The Innocent Man: A Modern Parallel
- What Does “Curse God and Die” Really Mean?
- What Does Faith Mean Now?
- Quotes to Consider
- Questions for Reflection
Shooting the Wounded: Why We Blame Suffering on Sin
The first book I read about mental health and Christianity was Why Do Christians Shoot Their Wounded by Dwight L. Carlson. It’s a classic, in my opinion.
Carlson writes from a place where he has seen people with mental illnesses getting wounded by well-meaning but ignorant Christians saying the mental illness was due to some sin in their life.
This “shooting of the wounded” still goes on today, and it’s been around a very long time. It shows up in two familiar patterns:
Attributing pain to sin
Whatever we don’t understand and are uncomfortable with, we attribute to sin. We assume the calamity is because of something you’ve done wrong and God is punishing you.
The law of retribution
You do something wrong, and you get the punishment. You do something good, and you get the reward. If bad things are happening, you must have done something bad.
But what if you have done nothing wrong and bad things happen?
The Whiplash of the Tongue: Job’s Story
That’s the situation of the biblical character Job.
Every measure of what we would call success had been taken from him: his health, his wealth, his children. He goes to the place which feels most welcoming to his heart: the local dump site. There he sits in the ashes of yesterday’s goodness and picks at his skin.
That’s what you do when life is hollowed out. You grieve, and you go to a cave. Another response, one of many, is to lash out — particularly at those close to you, and at God.
The first of the whiplashes was from his wife. She, too, had seen the trauma and tragedy of her children dying (Job 1:13-19). The tongue swings are wide and deep.
Job took a potsherd with which to scrape himself, and sat among the ashes. Then his wife said to him, “Do you still persist in your integrity? Curse God, and die.” — Job 2:8-9
Note that before she told him what to do, we see an affirmation of Job’s deepest quality — the one being tested: his integrity. This word integrity (tummah in Hebrew) could also be translated as innocence.
The Innocent Man: A Modern Parallel
Here in New Zealand, we have recently had a conviction of a murder overturned. Here is a portion of a news article:
For the first time in 36 years, Alan Hall has left a courtroom an innocent man. Hall was 23 when police targeted him for murdering Auckland father of five, Arthur Easton, in 1985. In a rare move, the Supreme Court has overturned his conviction, declined to order a retrial, and instead entered acquittals, allowing him to walk free. Applause broke out in the courtroom as the judges adjourned. — Stuff NZ
Here we have innocent Job, with his wife demanding he walk away from God.
What Does “Curse God and Die” Really Mean?
The tongue demands his compliance. What does it mean to “curse God”?
Essentially, it means to reject God and God’s goodness — to walk away. Again, it’s that law of retribution. If we do certain things for God, then God is expected to do certain things for us.
Job’s wife knows the innocence of Job but believes it has got them nowhere. It hasn’t made their lives better; instead, it appears to have made them worse. So she demands he walk away. Essentially, she is saying this:
“This ‘God’ business has not profited us at all. You have blessed God, but God has not returned the favour. So take the blessing back. Shake the God dust off yourself, and walk away in disgust. Yes, you will die, but isn’t death better than this? Aren’t you near death anyway? Let’s get this suffering over with.”
She is right that when we walk away from God, something begins to die. The relationship begins to die. Something of ourselves begins to die. The creative life force begins to shrivel up.
Job’s wife, and we will soon find his friends too, are caught up in the same belief that the satan is trying to prove: that Job is only in it for what he can get. That’s the question we must face also. Are we only following God for what God can do for us?
What Does Faith Mean Now?
I get emails from people who are in deep distress. They pray for God to take their life, but nothing happens. There is a plea to God to end it all. They wish, like Job, they had never been born (Job 3).
Nothing happens. In fact, it might get worse.
They might have a husband, a wife, or a friend who questions their faith, much as we find here. But there is something deep within every one of them: an awareness of God. They recognise that God is there even though God may feel distant, obscure, mysterious, and even aloof to their present needs.
And that is where we journey with Job. We go deep into knowing God even in the dark. This place of darkness is where faith is deepened and a different faith emerges.
Perhaps a question that Job has, and that we have too, is this: “What does faith mean now?”
Faith cannot rest. Faith definitions grow old as we move through our lives. Periodically we have to say, “Lord, what does faith mean now?” — Richard Rohr, Job and the Mystery of Suffering
When someone, especially someone close, tells you to turn your back on God, remember you are not alone. You have Job alongside you.
Quotes to Consider
Job’s wife comes into the picture at this point. If Job has lost all his children and possessions, so has his wife. Mrs Job is hurting too, and she’s not the image of patience he is. She’s caught up in the retributive justice syndrome which believes he must have done something wrong or this wouldn’t be happening. — Richard Rohr, Job and the Mystery of Suffering
In view of this new calamity that has befallen Job, his wife — who is also affected by his misfortune and shares his unjust suffering — urges him to curse God. What his wife challenges is Job’s stubborn maintenance of his interior consistency and exemplary conduct. — Gustavo Gutierrez, On Job: God-Talk and the Suffering of the Innocent
When negative voices are assaulting us — from the world, the spouse, the children, the church — none of us is strong enough to stand against them unless we are in touch with true transcendence. — Richard Rohr, Job and the Mystery of Suffering
An awful lot of religion is an excuse for not facing our fears and doubts. True religion is not denial but transformation. God walks with us into our fears, to feel them, to own them, to let them teach us. — Richard Rohr, Job and the Mystery of Suffering
Questions for Reflection
- We started this post with a comment on Why Do Christians Shoot Their Wounded. What’s it like to be on the receiving end of those bullets?
- Has someone criticised your faith and told you to walk away from God? How did you respond?
- What does faith mean now to you, compared to a previous time?
Further Reading
- Is This Punishment from God?
- Why Was I Even Born?
- I Curse The Day I Was Born
- Does God Hate Me?
- Shall We Accept Good from God, and Not Trouble?
- How Is It With Your Soul?
Barry Pearman
Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash
