There are some people that just push my buttons!
Something about them sets off a chain reaction of thoughts and feelings.
Perhaps they remind me of someone else or something that has happened in the past.
A memory echo bounces around my soul.
If I am going to be a good provider of Soul Talk I am going to have be aware of this response or I will potentially create walls in the conversation rather than bridges.
Perhaps the person shares a struggle, a point of pain, or tears start to glisten the eyes.
Listen to your heart.
- What is the first reaction?
- What do you want to do?
- What do you feel about yourself?
- What are you hoping to accomplish?
- How do feel toward your friend?
- Do you want to problem solve their issues, offer your experiences as wisdom for them, or hold them as they cry?
Listen first and foremost to what is happening to you. Just by acknowledging that your reaction exists, enables you to be able set it to one side for possible later examination.
Being self aware of your reactions is the first step to becoming a safe person for others.
People will only feel they can share safely with you what is truly on their hearts when they know it won’t adversely affect you and when it won’t potentially damage the relationship.
Perhaps it’s a sense of profound inadequacy that reveals itself.
That you have nothing, no wisdom, no formula’s, no experiences to draw from.
I would suggest that your inadequacy is an opportunity to hear the rhythm of the Spirit (Holy) in your soul.
When there is less of relying on yourself then there can be more room for relying on God.
I am totally in need of God to help me, I may have some ideas and thoughts, but I am going to put those to the side at this moment to wait and listen.
The men and women who are truly filled with light are those who have gazed deeply into the darkness of their own imperfect existence. Brennan Manning
Questions to consider. What gets stirred in your Soul with certain people and why? How does it affect your relationship with them?
Barry Pearman
Image: DaisyCat77 Creative Commons Flickr
