Relationships & Connection Archives

A Little Taste of Zimzum

Every now and then I get a taste of Zimzum. A sense of a contraction and a making of space for me and others. I’ve always been puzzled about how the voluntary creating of space for another person has a deep effect on the other, especially those who have experienced […]

Relationships & Connection

Don’t Shoot. I’m Wounded. I’m Different

When we don’t slow down and seek to understand, it’s easy to shoot our wounded. My plea is ‘Don’t Shoot. I’m wounded. I’m different/divergent.’ I recently watched this video of a pair of horses being very frightened by a rabbit. The two horses were walking down a narrow country […]

Relationships & Connection

When You Feel Rejected

We are created for connection, so feeling rejected can be harsh and cold. God gathers up the rejected. I think I was the only one who saw him shrivel away under the rejection of others. He had tried to do something different. He wanted to be part of the […]

Relationships & Connection

Throwing Pearls to Pigs

I know some people who have a pig on their farm. They feed it food scraps and grass. They don’t throw it pearls. Some people don’t have the capacity to hold precious things. They don’t have the wisdom to hold well. I think one of the most hurtful and […]

Relationships & Connection

Can you Live with a Narcissist? Six Suggestions

Can you live with a narcissist? Yes, but it might just kill you. Or it might just starve you from savouring life to the fullest. One of the most interesting quotes I have come across about stress is this one from French journalist Jean-Louis Servan-Schreiber What I fear most about stress is […]

Relationships & Connection

Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys

The first time I heard the Polish proverb “Not my circus, not my monkeys” I felt quite shocked, but digging deeper, I understood what they were saying. I heard it said by a husband about his wife. It felt callous. It felt cold and I still think it was. That […]

Relationships & Connection

I’m Building a Wall

They had got so used to the intrusiveness of others that they didn’t even care anymore, but slowly a line in the sand appeared, then a fence and then they built a wall. I enjoy being kind. I am generous, probably to my own detriment, but sometimes I feel […]

Relationships & Connection

She Crossed a Line

She crossed a line with her words, a line that was getting thinner with every wag of the tongue, but what could be done to help them both? It was the evening of the very first day of the year (2025). A beautiful summer’s day here in New Zealand. […]

Relationships & Connection

Even If It Does Me Harm

We give and give, even if it does us harm, but what if we learned the limits and established a line? People have said to me in the past ‘You need to set better boundaries’ I look and them and think. ‘Thanks for the encouragement. You really haven’t listened […]

Relationships & Connection

Better Boundaries?

‘You need better boundaries’. How many have said this to you? How about a better knowing of yourself first? Often when you go to see a counsellor for the first time, they hand you a sheet of paper with a list of expectations and boundaries. Very few ask the counselee […]