There is a resistance we all face into, but with the presence of others, we can know hope. So let’s listen. It felt to her that she was the only one having struggles. Every day, as her eyes peeled open, there was an instantaneous thought ‘Can I do this’? As […]
Helping Others
It’s an isolated world, well, sort of, but it’s one that needs courage and compassion if we are going to create connection. Today as I write this, is it our first day of mandatory nationwide lockdown in New Zealand due to the spread of the Corona Virus. People have been […]
Some people can be difficult to live at peace with. To live peaceably and in harmony requires each person to do the work on themselves. Some people are like bottomless holes. You give and give, and they take and take. They raise a storm, and you’re expected to bring peace. […]
What your neighbor needs now is love but they often encounter indifference. We need to find a way to listen to them and tell them they are loved. I wonder at times that under depression and anxiety, there is a deep unmet need for love. That many are love-starved and […]
We need to share the pain of life with someone, but what happens when the confessor, the one we are exposing our heart to, goes rogue. We need to be careful with who we share our heart with. What they thought was being said in private was now being passed […]
Plans and blueprints give us a sense of certainty, but it’s in the fog of relationships we need something more. Signposts offer us a direction, a relationship of trust, an ancient path. I wanted him to tell me what to do. Give me advice, a plan, a blueprint, a map […]
Criticism comes to us all, but we can grow through it. We need to listen, ask questions and learn how to handle it with dignity. They knew what was going to happen even before they got home. They were going to have to run through a gauntlet of criticism. Where […]
We all have a cocoon around us that may keep us safe, too safe, but there is a time for leaving the old and entering the new. Sometimes we have to walk through the crowd to get there. Something new was happening in them. They were changing, leaving. There was […]
Many live under a false identity, a name used for the convenience of others, but when we learn their true name connection happens. So what’s your real name? She said what her name was I knew that it wasn’t her real name. Now that caught my attention because in front […]
Life has challenges and can’t be faced alone, but with the help of faithful and loyal friends, we can make it through. We all need a Batman. They were right there beside me. Where I went, they went. I couldn’t shake them off, and neither would I want to. They […]
Criticism, shouting, or being ‘put down’ releases the hormone Cortisol into our blood system. It causes us discomfort. When we know this, we can take greater responsibility for our responses. Four little words will send a shot of terror into a man’s soul. ‘We need to talk.’ On a local […]
If you knew me, would you still love me? We all need others who will be strong enough to handle what comes from the inner world of each other. When they had opened up, they looked at me and wondered if I would reject them. So many others had. I […]
‘Shoulds’ can pile up on the shoulders and shape our thinking. But we have efficacy. We have the power to make a change and stop ‘shoulding.’ We don’t have to live under the slavery of a ‘should.’ It was always the same message. ‘You should be doing better.’ ‘You’re not […]
Often life can feel like it’s one step forward and two steps back, but with a few words of affirmation, another step can be taken. Affirm the small footprints of the struggle and evoke the good to grow. He knew many people didn’t like him. He had made commitments then […]
Listening to others can be frustrating, but when we listen to our ‘self,’ we might find the key to compassionate listening to others. Going deep, where life is indeed happening, requires us to stop and be slow. Be quick to listen to your self. I wondered why I was getting […]
Men aren’t talking, but they need to. We need to enter the cave of man’s mind and encourage him to talk. Words flow when we listen well. It was early in the morning, and I was driving to the first job of the day. The day was starting dark, cold, […]
The darkest valley can become a suffocating tomb, a hole that feels impossible to dig oneself out of, but with the help of others, a step can be made, and light can shine again. Recently I went to see ‘Tolkien,’ a movie about the author J.R.R. Tolkien who wrote classics […]
Men are in crisis and need help for their mental health. But one of the obstacles they face is finding counseling and support that is suited to them—seven tips on how to counsel and support men. Nine counselors. Six men and three women. That is how many counselors I have […]
Nurses, doctors, counselors, etc. can all make a difference to our mental health recovery, but the more lasting help will come from a committed companion — someone like Ruth who will break bread with us. It was like a revolving door of people entering their life and then leaving it. […]
Church and Mental Health? How about sitting with someone and being gently curious about the struggles of their soul. Now that is what I call ‘Church.’ I once sat in a church service and seated in front of me were two men. One was a highly paid lawyer, a partner […]