‘Shoulds’ can pile up on the shoulders and shape our thinking. But we have efficacy. We have the power to make a change and stop ‘shoulding.’ We don’t have to live under the slavery of a ‘should.’ It was always the same message. ‘You should be doing better.’ ‘You’re not […]
Helping & Supporting Others
48 posts
Often life can feel like it’s one step forward and two steps back, but with a few words of affirmation, another step can be taken. Affirm the small footprints of the struggle and evoke the good to grow. He knew many people didn’t like him. He had made commitments then […]
Listening to others can be frustrating, but when we listen to our ‘self,’ we might find the key to compassionate listening to others. Going deep, where life is indeed happening, requires us to stop and be slow. Be quick to listen to your self. I wondered why I was getting […]
Men aren’t talking, but they need to. We need to enter the cave of man’s mind and encourage him to talk. Words flow when we listen well. It was early in the morning, and I was driving to the first job of the day. The day was starting dark, cold, […]
The darkest valley can become a suffocating tomb, a hole that feels impossible to dig oneself out of, but with the help of others, a step can be made, and light can shine again. Recently I went to see ‘Tolkien,’ a movie about the author J.R.R. Tolkien who wrote classics […]
Men are in crisis and need help for their mental health. But one of the obstacles they face is finding counseling and support that is suited to them—seven tips on how to counsel and support men. Nine counselors. Six men and three women. That is how many counselors I have […]
Church and Mental Health? How about sitting with someone and being gently curious about the struggles of their soul. Now that is what I call ‘Church.’ I once sat in a church service and seated in front of me were two men. One was a highly paid lawyer, a partner […]
The road of healing can seem impossible at times, but with some borrowed courage you will never feel alone. Courage fosters progress. Simple words make all the difference when spoken from a heart of genuine knowing. ‘I believe you can make it’ gave me the courage to go on. They were […]
If you want to hear the heart of another, then you need to still your own. Fixing, advising, saving, or straightening out will only stifle the emergence of true wisdom. We need to listen with questions. Sometimes I want to tell some people to shut up and just listen. They […]
They were so caught up in themselves and their selfish desires that they got lost to the concerns of others. Without recognising the wealth of love around them, they were the prodigal, a child of abundance squandering it away. What drew them back was a memory of love, faint and small, […]