‘You need better boundaries’. How many have said this to you? How about a better knowing of yourself first? Often when you go to see a counsellor for the first time, they hand you a sheet of paper with a list of expectations and boundaries. Very few ask the counselee […]
toxic teaching
15 posts
I want lived truth. Truth that will help me in my everyday life, but so much of what I receive is unlived truth. Please stop trafficking unlived truth. I’m trying to limit my contact with a lot of unlived truth. Open up social media and most of its fluff and […]
They were stuck. Stuck in a Stage of Faith, but with help and gentle curiosity, they were able to take that next step towards wholeness. It was like the someone had turned on the lights in their thinking. They looked at me in absolute shock while I was explaining some […]
God, I need a miracle, but perhaps I need something more, and that is what God offers me and you. Something of depth and hope. There are times in life when there is a cry from the heart for a miracle. It’s that diagnosis, the loss of a job, a […]
People can say some harsh things to us, but when someone close says ‘Curse God and Die’ you have to go to a deeper place of faith than they possibly have. I was watching him wilt. He was once like a flourishing plant, enjoying water and sun and growing and […]
Having a Mental Illness can mean you feel very alone, but does being a Christian mean that you’re somehow on the outside? I wouldn’t have noticed it at the time, but a few years ago, I began to look at the shaping influences that happened in my early life, particularly […]
We’ve all fallen to the oldest trick in the book, but we need to know the oldest truth in the book. Knowing the difference between ministry and manipulation. I watched them do it. They said a few words, suggested some options, smiled in a certain way, and waited. It wasn’t […]
For many, God can be like a drill sergeant, demanding and harsh, but that is a flawed understanding of God. When we look closely at the diamond, we can see other facets. If you follow the rules and commands, then everything will be ok. Step out of line and watch […]
To ‘Walk the extra mile’ is not about being generous, or servanthood. It’s about flipping the power dynamics and creating a sense of fear and uncertainty. Have you ever heard someone say ‘They walked the extra mile’? We link this little phrase with the idea that this person did more […]
Harsh words and rough hands can abuse but are we meant to turn the other cheek and accept the abuse. No, we are to grow in dignity. She had given into the bully 365 times too many. She had been cheek-slapped all of the marriage. For him, he had accepted […]
‘Am I doing ok?’ was the question I was most frequently asked when I was a pastor/chaplain. ‘Is this Church safe’ was another. Keeping pace were other limping souls … ‘Am I welcome here’ ‘Does God really love me?’ ‘I can’t seem to get it right’ ‘… keeps telling me […]
When God has left the building, turning up the volume won’t help. At the school where I grow vegetables, it can be very noisy. I have a group of children that love to help and to get my attention they will often speak louder, and wave hands like windmills. It can […]
Life has a tragic way of repeating itself. It seems at times that we just go round an endless loop of repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Then someone says ‘forget what lies behind.’ One of my favorite classic movies is Groundhog day with a very young Bill […]
It’s always dangerous when we subconsciously create a ‘saviour’ out of a sinner. If you stand too close to the pedestal, of a venerated statue, you’ll get damaged by the cracks. I always cringed when someone would call me ‘Pastor Barry’. If possible I would always ask them to never do […]
For Mental Health we need a grounded spirituality. Beware of Woo Woo and La La Land and how they can subtly disconnect you from reality. A form of spiritual abdication. Do you like some ‘Woo-woo’ in your life? ‘Woo-woo’ refers to something that is ‘dubiously or outlandishly mystical, supernatural, or […]