forgiveness Archives

Don’t be Loyal to the Delusions of an Emperor in Undies

When we are loyal to our lies, we are like an emperor in undies. Delusions believed as truth will destroy. We need to be open to others gently telling us when we have been conned. One of my favorite stories from Hans Christian Andersen is “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” Here […]

Mental health Relationships

Life’s not Fair! There is a Mystery to be Known

Life’s not fair, and there is mystery involved. When we know there is a bigger story going on then perhaps grace can heal the wounds. It was always the same conversation. Life’s not fair. They didn’t just carry a chip on their shoulder, it was a gigantic log, and it […]

Mental Health is ... Giving Grace to Failure and Rethinking Expectations

Getting Well Staying Well Mental health

Give Grace to Failure and Rethink Expectations

When we have realistic expectations, we can build resilience and an internal wisdom that is gentle with our humanity. We can grace ourselves and others when there is a failure to meet expectations. What caused the breakdown? Was it a genetic weakness? The piling up of expectations? Lack of sleep, […]

Getting Well Staying Well Mental health Uncategorized

Wallowing in the past won’t add to your future

There is a time for everything, but wallowing in your past will create an endless rut of misery. Isn’t it time to allow God, who knows all, to take the unknowns and allow you to walk in today? I always like a good wallow, don’t you? It’s like a warm, […]

Getting Well Staying Well Relationships

Rules + Regulations – Relationships = Rebellion + Resentment

Developing a relationship with God where we feel loved and graced upon is the most precious gift you can give your mental health. Rules and regulations without relationship will only lead to rebellion and resentment. Grace and forgiveness bring healing. Isn’t it interesting how early experiences shape your view of […]

Getting Well Staying Well Mental health

Isn’t It Time to Banish the Bookkeeper? Forgive

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Are you struggling to forgive yourself or others? The bookkeeper keeps score and builds a case against yourself and others. Let’s banish the bookkeeper. Underneath the kitchen bench in my childhood home was a drawer where we kept scissors, pens, paper, and the red Collins ledger book. My mother would […]

Getting Well Staying Well Spiritual Formation

Self Compassion for a ‘Wretch like me’

Been sold the lie that you’re a wretch? Self-compassion absorbs the failures and forgives the self. It says you’re doing ok and that you’re loved. I have probably sung into my soul ‘a wretch like me’ over a hundred times. The hymn ‘Amazing Grace’ is the most well-known hymn we have. […]

How Forgiveness Cleans The Toxic Dumping Ground Of The Heart

Mental health Spiritual Formation

How Forgiveness Cleans The Toxic Dumping Ground In The Heart

Forgiveness cleanses the toxic places in our hearts. Those dumping grounds where we hold onto the resentments and hurts. “We throw all of the garbage we can’t burn or compost, like oil or old lead paint, over the hill in the back” she said to me. “But…then you can’t use […]

four-signs-that-you-have-truly-forgiven-and-youre-not-stuffing-it-down

Mental health Relationships

Four Signs you have Truly Forgiven and You’re not Stuffing it Down

How can a person know when they have truly forgiven someone else. What is the difference between true forgiveness and simply stuffing down or sweeping under the rug your feelings? It is tempting for Christians to try to forgive quickly in order to ease their minds and resolve the conflict. […]

Mental health Relationships

How ‘Going the extra Mile’ Flips the Power Dynamics

To ‘Walk the extra mile’ is not about being generous, or servanthood. It’s about flipping the power dynamics and creating a sense of fear and uncertainty. Have you ever heard someone say ‘They walked the extra mile’? We link this little phrase with the idea that this person did more […]